Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If your DH is now WFH, does he expect you to now make him lunch every day?

373 replies

mintginger · 17/07/2021 20:54

Just wondering what people do really (particularly if you are SAH yourself).

YABU - yes, you should make him lunch.
YANBU - no, leave him to it and go out and about on your business.

Thanks!

OP posts:
QueenoftheFarts · 18/07/2021 17:48

My husband is super advanced for age and gender. He makes his own sandwiches.

Further proof that he has achieved his milestones is that he also makes my lunch.... he's such a good boy.

Seriously. Is this genuine?

Maybe it's just normal in our house. My dad peels and chops an apple for my mum every day before he goes to work. Then he arranges it on a plate with grapes and other fruits to hand to look like a flower and leaves it the fridge for her morning snack.

I think its some weird concept about wanting to do nice things for each other.....

HazyDaisy123456 · 18/07/2021 17:49

Since the pandemic my husband and the teens all make their own lunch on a lunch time. I work part time from home.

MargeGoesBowling · 18/07/2021 17:52

I think I’m a bit like your husband Blush

Both DH and I work and have stressful jobs. Mine though is just manic. It’s one of those jobs that, if something goes wrong, it can impact millions of people and leads to a lot of very negative PR. It’s a really time-sensitive industry and things can go belly-up at any minute. I live on my nerves some day, as much as I love my job.

DH often makes me lunch. I grow my own veg and salad stuff Blush
If he doesn’t make me lunch, I do find myself getting a tad annoyed because I’m often just not able to get away from my desk. I do have to check my own expectations often and remind myself that it’s not my husband’s job to feed me. I am not a toddler.

I keep a range of snacks in my home office now, so if I’m caught short I have something to fill the gap. Then I’m very grateful when DH spots that I’m under pressure and brings me in a sandwich.

Bertiebiscuit · 18/07/2021 17:57

If this is genuine you are either a slave or a maid - ridiculous

sherrystrull · 18/07/2021 18:02

I had no idea there was so many women who don't work.

I literally know one sahm and she has three very young children and a DH who earns a fortune.

Everyone I know shares jobs like this as they both work. Honestly reading this thread I feel like I've gone back to rhe 1950's.

lifehappened · 18/07/2021 18:10

Doesn't expect it but I always do

Blackcat333 · 18/07/2021 18:11

If you are making lunch, why wouldn't you make him a sandwich too? 🤣

Yourcatisnotsorry · 18/07/2021 18:14

When both of you are home together I’d expect one asks the other if they’d like lunch? My OH often emails me to say it’s ready and brings me coffee.

SparrowNest · 18/07/2021 18:15

@sherrystrull

I had no idea there was so many women who don't work.

I literally know one sahm and she has three very young children and a DH who earns a fortune.

Everyone I know shares jobs like this as they both work. Honestly reading this thread I feel like I've gone back to rhe 1950's.

The important thing is that it’s given you a opportunity to feel superior.
cherish123 · 18/07/2021 18:32

No. I would think you would take it in turns. Presumably your are working from home too.

Bleachmycloths · 18/07/2021 18:32

If he lived in a house share would he expect a housemate to make his lunch?

Mermaid67 · 18/07/2021 18:35

He doesn’t expect it but it makes me really happy if I am around and able to do it for him!

notsofussy · 18/07/2021 18:37

My husband is semi retired working 3 days a week at office. He makes his own sandwiches to take to work so I am pretty sure hes capable of making them on his days off. His last day off he had a Cornetto for his lunch today I caught him having a packet of Quavers...........

Diva66 · 18/07/2021 18:39

No, he makes lunch and dinner every day.

PommieCheeks75 · 18/07/2021 18:42

I do, husband has been WFH for over a year, I’m not working, every morning he makes me coffee in bed and I make all the meals.

RaindropsOnRosie · 18/07/2021 18:45

I'm a housewife, our agreement is he works and I cook, clean, etc. I'll make him lunch when I make mine and if I'm busy or out of the house I usually have something prepared that he can grab from the fridge or keep in his office.

However, if he was stuck working all day and I didn't bring him lunch or drinks he'd probably be annoyed because it doesn't take a lot of effort for me to make an extra sandwich or cup of tea.

Ideasplease322 · 18/07/2021 18:47

Is this for an article? 1950s house over or abusive husbands?

gamerchick · 18/07/2021 18:56

@RaindropsOnRosie

I'm a housewife, our agreement is he works and I cook, clean, etc. I'll make him lunch when I make mine and if I'm busy or out of the house I usually have something prepared that he can grab from the fridge or keep in his office.

However, if he was stuck working all day and I didn't bring him lunch or drinks he'd probably be annoyed because it doesn't take a lot of effort for me to make an extra sandwich or cup of tea.

Waiting on a bloke hand and foot isn't part of the deal of being a 'housewife' and if they 'got annoyed' if you fail in your skivving duties he would get an almighty fuck off Hmm
ChuckMater · 18/07/2021 18:58

Im a SAHM. It isn't expected but I make DH lunch if im home and making mine and DS. If he's hungry before or I'm busy he'll make something for us all. There's no effort to make an extra portion. He comes and gets his own breakfast midmorning and often makes me drinks if he's making one.

HighlandMam1 · 18/07/2021 18:58

I'm currently on maternity leave and my oh is WFH I make his lunch every day and if I'm not home to make it he just doesn't eat lunch 🤦🏻‍♀️ god why did I pick a lazy one? 😆

rubbletrouble · 18/07/2021 19:00

No, I don't make his lunch. He doesn't really get time to take a lunch break, so just grabs what ever is easy for him.

I wouldn't mind doing him some lunch if he asked and I was in and had time,(he never has) but would he expect it, absolutely not.

Isaidnomorecrisps · 18/07/2021 19:02

We both work FT and wfh for the last year. Sometimes days are too manic and it’s cheese and biscuits, but often we’ll bung a quiche in the oven and have with salad / cook tuna pasta with olives. Yep a regression to being students….. Takes no time and I love the 20 mins together. Sad ! But we always text and work out when we have an overlap. He brings me tea and a Welsh cake around 4 too.

Secondbellini · 18/07/2021 19:04

I am divorced.
It is brilliant and I thank God for it many times a day.

riceuten · 18/07/2021 19:24

Nope. Didn't vote. We make lunch together.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 18/07/2021 19:26

My friend told me about a friend of hers (I've never met this woman, she's a neighbour of my friend).

Anyway, her husband runs a very successful thriving food shop in one of London's hottest spots for food and drink Borough Market he owned owns one of the most popular shops, not just a stall. They live within a few minutes walk.

When her dc were small, he would take a lunch break from work, walk home and expect her to make lunch for him! WTAF?