Woke up to two grown men sleeping in my toddlers bedroom

[Mama1993]

They are friends btw and my toddler is with his g/parents.

However... This is the story...

We had some friends staying over last night who we haven't seen in a long time, they live abroad and wanted to see us before they caught a flight tomorrow. We have a sofa bed so no problem.

We had some drinks in our garden in the evening with a few other close friends - we are a group of about 8 and it was a proper catch up sort of thing. The plan was to then go to the pub for dinner around the corner.

side note: I have a four week old and am breastfeeding so I personally am not doing any heavy drinking.

I left the pub earlier than everyone but I said to my husband that I didn't mind if everyone wanted to come back for a drink or two (this is where I clearly went wrong)

To cut a long story short they ended up having a bit of a party downstairs, lots of drinking until late and lots of shouting. I'm not that annoyed about the loudness because it didn't actually keep me or my baby up

But when I woke up this morning I went in to my toddlers room to find our other friend (who has his own house in the same city) asleep on the floor and HIS friend who I don't know and only met the night before asleep in my son's bed!

My husband said they could so I can't be annoyed with them too much but AIBU to be annoyed with my husband?? I know I said they could all come back for a drink but we aren't students and I didnt expect that to be misconstrued as anyone can stay over....

I've been miffed this morning and my husband has just as rude back to me saying I should get off my high horse for doing the glasses before him etc... Maybe he has a point? I just think it's a bit inappropriate seeing as we have a newborn...

@randomhomosapien
Totally

It's no big deal
As long as you and the baby weren't disturbed by it.
Dont worry about it

This is the only time I've read the title of a thread and though. Yer that didn't happen!

Life’s too short to stress over a silly thing like this.

CLICKBAIT if I ever saw it

I agree, clickbait. That you again DM?

Yes it’s clickbait op has said so, fun thread and she fancied being a journalist

It wouldn’t have bothered me. After the last 18 months they probably got carried away with being able to be together and actually having fun

I hate reading comments on posts like this, can’t OP just get some sisterly support of yea I’d be fucking fuming?? Someone sleeping in your kids bed whether you know them or not, is just a no…. Well it would be in my house as my sons would go mad. And the newborn thing, is a thing because they are there and could have been disturbed, thankfully it wasn’t but it could have been. It’s one of them where mom can’t do something because she has to be responsible but the dad can carry on, partying, drinking, making a mess, then probably sleep as long as they want the next day, get up and expect the mess to be there waiting when they know that’s no going to be the case cause who will really dance around someone’s mess all day waiting for them to clean it up? Everyone making comments sitting in the fence you all know you would want someone just to say yeah I agree with you it’s wrong if it happened to you

Oh dear.

Where has hospitality gone. What part of the country are you in? I’m guessing it’s one of the not so friendly areas.

‘I was a stranger and you took me in’
When we married at first we’d have rough sleepers knocking on the door asking for food. Not the first time my husbands dinner was given away. Be kind and be grateful you have a kind husband. Look and learn as your children will learn from you.

Unless you have found the friend that you do know to be unwise in his choice of friends, I'd let this go. Your toddler was not there, sheets wash, and two people who had no business driving did not drive. I'd have been, possibly, VERY mildly annoyed, but I'd have heaved a sigh, said, "AH, la!" and gone on about my day. Small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. Unless it starts to happen 4 or more times a week! In that case, RAISE HELL!

@Cherryberrybonbon

I hate reading comments on posts like this, can’t OP just get some sisterly support of yea I’d be fucking fuming?? Someone sleeping in your kids bed whether you know them or not, is just a no…. Well it would be in my house as my sons would go mad. And the newborn thing, is a thing because they are there and could have been disturbed, thankfully it wasn’t but it could have been. It’s one of them where mom can’t do something because she has to be responsible but the dad can carry on, partying, drinking, making a mess, then probably sleep as long as they want the next day, get up and expect the mess to be there waiting when they know that’s no going to be the case cause who will really dance around someone’s mess all day waiting for them to clean it up? Everyone making comments sitting in the fence you all know you would want someone just to say yeah I agree with you it’s wrong if it happened to you

So people should only reply if they agree with the OP?

I'd be livid - men I hardly know sleeping in my house - no way, also WHY did you do the clearing up, that's not passive aggressive that's just martyrdom - where is your self respect? He sounds very selfish and uncaring tbh

TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE AND POTENTIALLY EXTREMELY DANGEROUS! Did your husband monitor the guests’ vaccine status? Even so, with delta spreading like wildfire and With unvaccinated children living
there this is way beyond irresponsible on all parts

Right? I'd be furious, blatant taking advantage. Fair enough a friend staying over, but a complete stranger when there's a newborn in the house, not a chance that would be happening! He could have gone psychotic after a drink, because it happens. Thank god nothing went wrong, seems irresponsible on the dad's part IMO. I'd be having words if this happened at my home. I feel like most the people commenting just comment to disagree for the sake of it smh.

Husband with not very high standards + disrespectful friends with not very high standards + alcohol = trouble.
Been there, seen it. All pretty immature imo.

Wouldn’t bother me at all. We’ve always had an open door policy though, all our friends know they can stay over if needed and they’ll be looked after too.

To Dnaltocs
You are kidding, right? Quoting the bible about taking people in? The OP was talking about a bunch of piss heads for God’s sake!

@crowisland

TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE AND POTENTIALLY EXTREMELY DANGEROUS! Did your husband monitor the guests’ vaccine status? Even so, with delta spreading like wildfire and With unvaccinated children living there this is way beyond irresponsible on all parts

Is this real? Or are you being ridiculous to make an ironic point?

I would have woke the husband up nd asked him to deal with it all then off for stroll to the park with the baby, toddler and Granny... Giving the hubby enough time to sort out the mess. It could have been a lot worse! Good thing you went to bed, or you would have been following them around with coasters 😂

@Bleachmycloths

To Dnaltocs You are kidding, right? Quoting the bible about taking people in? The OP was talking about a bunch of piss heads for God’s sake!

Does the bible exclude people who are drunk? My version doesn’t appear to.

My late husband was and always had been very sociable. We had four children in 4 years and I was mainly responsible for them. He went to the pub/rugby club every day and often brought his mates home for supper/Sunday lunch, mostly unannounced. I was happy cooking for them all, it was my social life. I wanted to be at home with the children, everyone was happy. However ~ there is absolutely no way anyone would have stayed overnight. The friends were respectful of us, our home and more than anything, our children. We had a downstairs bathroom and in all the years we were there I don't recall any of them actually going upstairs, certainly not in the children's rooms and absolutely not into any of their beds, for any reason.
Maybe this family did behave differently as students but respect should dictate that when you move into the realms of family there are some things you just don't do any more and sleeping in the toddlers bed, of a family you don't know that well, is a big no-no.
It could be that a breast feeding, hormonal Mum feels now that she's over-reacted. She's allowed. But she was right to be a protective Mama.

I don’t understand why you’d think it was inappropriate because you have a newborn, but you thought it was appropriate to invite them back for drinks regardless of having a newborn.

You invited them yourself and you were aware there was ‘a bit of a party’ going on until late.

YABU really.

Not sure why everyone is getting mad at the OP’s husband when it was the OP herself who invited them for ‘a couple of drinks’ and let ‘a bit of a party’ continue.

I don’t see the issue, the toddler wasn’t there however what is the issue if the toddler was there?