Woke up to two grown men sleeping in my toddlers bedroom

[Mama1993]

They are friends btw and my toddler is with his g/parents.

However... This is the story...

We had some friends staying over last night who we haven't seen in a long time, they live abroad and wanted to see us before they caught a flight tomorrow. We have a sofa bed so no problem.

We had some drinks in our garden in the evening with a few other close friends - we are a group of about 8 and it was a proper catch up sort of thing. The plan was to then go to the pub for dinner around the corner.

side note: I have a four week old and am breastfeeding so I personally am not doing any heavy drinking.

I left the pub earlier than everyone but I said to my husband that I didn't mind if everyone wanted to come back for a drink or two (this is where I clearly went wrong)

To cut a long story short they ended up having a bit of a party downstairs, lots of drinking until late and lots of shouting. I'm not that annoyed about the loudness because it didn't actually keep me or my baby up

But when I woke up this morning I went in to my toddlers room to find our other friend (who has his own house in the same city) asleep on the floor and HIS friend who I don't know and only met the night before asleep in my son's bed!

My husband said they could so I can't be annoyed with them too much but AIBU to be annoyed with my husband?? I know I said they could all come back for a drink but we aren't students and I didnt expect that to be misconstrued as anyone can stay over....

I've been miffed this morning and my husband has just as rude back to me saying I should get off my high horse for doing the glasses before him etc... Maybe he has a point? I just think it's a bit inappropriate seeing as we have a newborn...

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Isn't that what friends do ? Seems pretty normal to me

I have regularly been invited to stay in my friends kids bedrooms (when the kids are away)... I find it odd and would rather the sofa but it certainly seems to be normal to everyone else.

@romdowa

I'd be very upset that a strange , drunk man slept in my small child's bed.

Yep, this.

I really don’t see what the issue is here I mean they didn’t break anything or make a mess.

for a misleading title there

You all had drinks in your garden, went to the pub for more then you told DH they could come back to yours for more.

No wonder they stayed the night, they must've been off their heads and not capable of going home !!

@3scape

for a misleading title there

This, if ever I saw one!

YABU. Toddler was with grandparents. Adults had fun and too much to drink and slept in spare room. It's a one off I presume, so absolutely fine and I wouldn't have an issue with it at all.

@crowisland

TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE AND POTENTIALLY EXTREMELY DANGEROUS! Did your husband monitor the guests’ vaccine status? Even so, with delta spreading like wildfire and With unvaccinated children living there this is way beyond irresponsible on all parts

😂 😂 😂

Unless you're being serious...?

better than finding out they crashed on way home! if kid was a grandparents, then wash linen, and be glad people wanted to be in your space!!

I see this as a clash of personalities- your DH's, which is obviously an obliging as far as possible one, and yours, which has some boundaries that you assume everyone has.

I think you need to put a line under this event and be clearer in future as to what your expectations are. It's not fair to punish him for doing what he thought couldn't hurt; I guess he thought the bedding could be washed.

Op said they could all come back to her house after the pub, they did

I’d be annoyed OP. It’s not the sleeping in the toddlers room when he’s not there, it’s the feeling like you’re not a responsible adult. Not sure what age you are, but personally for me it’s the line being drawn between when am I grown up enough not to have behaviours in my home that I’d find scummy in others. And that’s not in a judgemental way btw, it’s just something that I’ve been through.

I consider being friends with an adult man acting like a foolish teenager as "normal". Do you?

I can't say I'd be terribly happy that a drunken strange man had crashed in my house like a teenager without my knowledge. Get a taxi home at the end of the night like a grown up, rather than passing out in a small child's bed.

Frankly? OP can't insist that nobody ever stay again as much as her DH can't insist that strangers sleep there every night.

This made me snort

Your instinct right now is still to keep everything safe and keep strangers out, even keep out people who arent part of your "tribe".
Clearly it isn't since op was the one who extended the invitation in the first place.
Mamma Bear 🤣

Draw a line but keep it on reserve ?

When we married at first we’d have rough sleepers knocking on the door asking for food. Not the first time my husbands dinner was given away

Oh come on, this never happened 😂

@Barmychick

Draw a line but keep it on reserve ?

For what?!

Get him to change the sheets and move on.