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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want WFH DP in the office

319 replies

jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 07:36

So judging from the WFH threads on here I am probably taking my life into my hands but here goes.

I work term time only. Obviously this has its advantages.

I would like DP in the office for a couple of days a week for the next six weeks, mainly so that I can have friends visit.

I’m wondering how to phrase this so it doesn’t sound like ‘fuck off out of your own home’ Grin

(A big challenge is that DP doesn’t mind noise. It’s me who minds making it and him listening!)

OP posts:
dreamingbohemian · 17/07/2021 09:51

Of course it's not right that you be confined to a bedroom all summer but that's not the only option

What exactly is the problem with changing the blinds, do you mean he won't let you?
Then you say, either we change the blinds so I can use the lounge or else you need to go back into the office more, because I'm not spending the summer in the bedroom

Tell him what the problem is you being cooped up in the bedroom and try to work together to find some solutions

It sounds like you have a really awkward house that needs rejigging if you're all going to be there all summer. It's perfectly reasonable for you to ask him to help you change things, it's a better way to approach it than just asking him to get out a couple days a week.

Whiskycav · 17/07/2021 09:52

I am not buying he can't. Not from you, but room him.

He sounds like a tosser if he isn't working to work with you and happy to have his dp and child stuck in a bedroom, everytime they are home all summer. And not listen to his dp about how she feels.

The equipment came to the house at some point. It was moved, it could be moved again.

If it was difficult to move, it should never have been set up in a shared area.

I work from the living room some days. But only when do is outside or gone out.

How have you coped when you have been off before?

dreamingbohemian · 17/07/2021 09:53

Sorry cross posted

Yes that does sound shit so you and DH need to find a better solution

If he refuses to do anything to improve the situation then I would be questioning how much he really cares about you, because this is not a good setup at all

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 09:53

We don’t have an upstairs. It’s not the Internet it’s the mobile phone signal. There isn’t any and I should know as I was stuck in there for ages!

goshit yeah it’s pretty miserable isn’t it Sad

OP posts:
dreamingbohemian · 17/07/2021 09:53

Why were you stuck in that room for 8 weeks?

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 09:54

OK whiskey I’m not arguing about it.

dreaming the issue is it’s not shit for him I think … it’s so bloody hard. Because I’m the one with the issue yes but it doesn’t make it any easier.

OP posts:
Whiskycav · 17/07/2021 09:54

It's perfectly reasonable for you to ask him to help you change things, it's a better way to approach it than just asking him to get out a couple days a week.

This ^

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 09:54

I’d just had ds and it was lockdown and nowhere to go.

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 17/07/2021 09:55

Is there a way to move the bedrooms about and use one of the others as his office

To be fair I don’t go on and on about things my husband is doing while I’m working from home that would be - irritating. No more than I would go on about things a colleague was doing in the office.

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 09:55

It doesn’t really matter with the bedrooms tbh. I’ve seen people discuss this before and I can see it might have it’s uses if the house was on two levels but it isn’t.

OP posts:
BoomChicka · 17/07/2021 09:57

Ok the working is the problem that cannot be moved.. so... can he book some days off in September?

RJnomore1 · 17/07/2021 09:57

Invest in a garden room?

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 09:58

I am really sorry boom but I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re driving at there.

OP posts:
Notonthestairs · 17/07/2021 09:58

Ok so it's time to have a good chat with him about how you are feeling. Lay it all out there and see if the two of you can come up with a plan. If my DH was getting stressed like you are now I'd want to know how I could help.

He's your partner, you've had a child together he'll should want to see that you are all happy.

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 09:59

rj the garden is tiny. It’s a small patio area. A garden room would fill it in it’s entirety meaning no one could use the patio for anything else. In any case I couldn’t afford a garden room and I’m not really sure I could get one arranged for the next five weeks!

OP posts:
Whoarethewho · 17/07/2021 10:00

Yabu if his job pays the mortgage. do you work? As someone who earns 85% of household income that pays for the house and WFH if my dp told me to go into the office I would suggest they start equally contributing then they can tell me what to do in the house I paid for.

amission · 17/07/2021 10:01

@Whoarethewho

Yabu if his job pays the mortgage. do you work? As someone who earns 85% of household income that pays for the house and WFH if my dp told me to go into the office I would suggest they start equally contributing then they can tell me what to do in the house I paid for.
What a ridiculous statement

Money is king is it? Jesus some people are barren

BoomChicka · 17/07/2021 10:02

He takes a few days annual leave and can plan his own days out/hobby/see his friends. You can have your friends over without him working disturbing you/you disturbing him.

It won't be spontaneous, but it's better than nothing.

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 10:03

You might earn 85% of the income but you can’t fucking read Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 10:03

But I’ll be at work boom, so how can I? Confused

OP posts:
BoomChicka · 17/07/2021 10:04

I thought you were off for 5 weeks? Now I'm confused Grin

MiddleParking · 17/07/2021 10:05

@jasmineblossoms

You might earn 85% of the income but you can’t fucking read Hmm
😂
PastMyBestBeforeDate · 17/07/2021 10:05

Does he have duplicate complex equipment at work or would he need to move it between home and work?

Birkie248 · 17/07/2021 10:05

To be honest I thinks it’s always going to sound a bit like ‘can you fuck out of your own house please’, however I’d just broach it tentatively at first and say I’m having friends over a couple of days a week, how would you feel about going back to the office for a day a week? Then firm it up a bit more with each conversation?
However if I was your DH I wouldn’t want to do a 2hr daily commute just do you can chat in peace, but maybe that’s just me?

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 10:06

I’m really confused - you seemed to be saying that dp should book some days off work in September, when I’m back at work, and I genuinely don’t understand why. I’m really sorry. Why would him booking some days off in September when I’m working help with august, when I’m not?

OP posts: