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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want WFH DP in the office

319 replies

jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 07:36

So judging from the WFH threads on here I am probably taking my life into my hands but here goes.

I work term time only. Obviously this has its advantages.

I would like DP in the office for a couple of days a week for the next six weeks, mainly so that I can have friends visit.

I’m wondering how to phrase this so it doesn’t sound like ‘fuck off out of your own home’ Grin

(A big challenge is that DP doesn’t mind noise. It’s me who minds making it and him listening!)

OP posts:
tiredanddangerous · 17/07/2021 08:52

Oh I feel your pain op. I also work term time and dh works at the kitchen table all day in the summer because it gets too hot in the box room office. He's not allowed to go to work but if he was I would absolutely be strongly suggesting it!

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 08:52

Oh the lounge drives me mad - the sun shines directly in it so the baby cries as the sun is in his face. Also it’s right next to the dining room so I can endlessly hear calls and I find interacting with DC difficult. I certainly wouldn’t want to be sitting chatting with friends whilst being blinded by the sun on top of DPs work background noise!

OP posts:
converseandjeans · 17/07/2021 08:58

YANBU people need to get back to the office so home is home again and not and office.

TomorrowIsAnotherDae · 17/07/2021 09:02

If your DP doesn’t mind you having friends in his house while he works for 2 days every week for the next 6 weeks then leave him be. Obviously ask him if he’ll piss of out of your way for the sake of your social life if you want to, but don’t be surprised if he thinks you’re being a bit of a knob no matter how you phrase it.

tartanblanketdog · 17/07/2021 09:06

I want everyone to fuck off back to the office for a day so I can spend the day in my house alone - I miss that. I don't care whether that's an unreasonable want - it's only happened about 3 times in the last 2 years. I used to have it 5 days a week!

Notonthestairs · 17/07/2021 09:06

I'd just have friends over and let him decide for himself where he'd work best. You tip toeing around is your decision, it doesn't sound like he's bothered either way.

I'd also get blinds for the sitting room.

BusyLizzie61 · 17/07/2021 09:09

Yabu.
He is working there as his place of work. You expect him to add on a wasted 2.5 hours commute a day because you feel you can't use the kitchen etc yet he doesn't object?
You don't like the sun in the lounge - use curtains! You don't wish to use the garden.
These are all YOUR issues
Yabvu.

mum2jakie · 17/07/2021 09:10

Situation in reverse here as I'm the one WFH. I'm going in the office three days next week as husband is on leave and home with the kids and it will be a nightmare working from home. (Although I've had to do it before when we've been self isolating.) I'll be office based for three days and he can take the kids out for the other two days which seems a fair compromise for all of us.

NakedAttraction · 17/07/2021 09:11

This topic does make me chuckle.

We get women saying they want to wfh home permanently and how ace it is.

We get women who want to kick their OHs out to the office as much as possible.

It’s like wfh is great when it benefits and suits me but I don’t want anyone else enjoying the benefits of wfh to inconvenience me!

BoomChicka · 17/07/2021 09:12

Is it a 1 bed bungalow? If not can another bedroom be used as an office so he's not sat in a shared room all day? Guessing you'd have thought of this already though!

SwedishEdith · 17/07/2021 09:16

So, you're off for 5 weeks and want him to have a 2+ hours commute (not sure if the hour 10 minutes was one way or return?) twice a week so you can have the house to yourself. He's not bothered about any noise and presumably, he'll take some leave over the summer as well? You only moved in with him 10 months ago and your friends are 2 hours away but may come twice a week?

No way would I go in if I don't need to with that commute.

amission · 17/07/2021 09:17

I had the house to myself the other day for the first time in months.

It was heaven.

I can't wfh due to the nature of my job so haven't had to deal with the reverse situation.

Our home is for living in not working. It's annoying having to tip toe around meetings all the time.

dreamingbohemian · 17/07/2021 09:19

Curtains or blinds for the lounge surely?

The problem is he doesn't mind if you are there or have people over, so it's going to be hard to convince him to do that commute several times a week.

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 09:21

No, it’s a three bed but working in the bedrooms would involve moving some complex equipment.

One room is ds’s bedroom. One room is right at the back of the house and there is no phone signal (and I know that’s true as I spent eight weeks trapped in it!) and the other room is as close to the lounge as the dining area.

But I guess I am BU. But I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through the next five weeks.

OP posts:
LakieLady · 17/07/2021 09:25

If I was asked to leave our house and go back to the office for 2 days a week I'd be royally pissed off! And my office is only a mile down the road, not an hour's commute away.

If you don't feel comfortable having friends round while he's there, meet them outside the home.

dreamingbohemian · 17/07/2021 09:25

So why not go ahead and move the complex equipment? It only has to be done once.

Can you put DS in the room with no phone signal and put DH office in that room?

I do really sympathise with you but it sounds like there is a good amount of space and a DH who doesn't worry about being bothered, so there should be some way to improve the situation

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 09:25

curtains or blinds for the lounge surely

The blinds that are there are awful. I don’t consider myself thick but I always manage to let them down Wrong and I just can’t cope with the whining from dp. So I don’t bother.

OP posts:
dreamingbohemian · 17/07/2021 09:28

Can you replace the blinds with curtains?

It sounds like you are afraid to make any changes to anything because it's not your house originally but you live there now, you should be able to do these things

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 09:29

I can’t move it. It isn’t mine and I don’t know how to attach it. I could suggest it to dp but he’d rightly say what’s the point.

Look I really don’t want to endlessly be going through blinds, sun, bedrooms … dp regularly comes and just stands or sits in a room I’m in when he’s working. So to not to have that for two days would be nice.

OP posts:
Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 09:30

I can’t though bohemian, if it was up to me I’d burn the fucking blinds. I hate them Grin

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 17/07/2021 09:30

I’m working from home and if my husband suggested I should go to the office so he could socialise Id be incredibly pissed off.

It’s not the first thread I’ve seen on here complaining about people doing their jobs being an inconvenience. It doesn’t make it any less unreasonable or actually downright nasty.

Original poster
jasmineblossoms · 17/07/2021 09:31

I get it, but I’m just sad people think I should either stay in a bedroom or walk about all summer. Is this just how life is, now? It makes me feel so bad.

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 17/07/2021 09:31

Cross posted, if he complained about me being in the same room I’d be considering my life choices by that point.

Whiskycav · 17/07/2021 09:32

To be honest it sounds like both you and your are trying g to make this as difficult as you can.

He can't be in the garden, you don't like the living room, he can work at Costa because of equipment, he can't work upstairs because of equipment, the equipment was brought him but can't be moved upstairs.

It seems like any alternative, you aren't happy with or he can't do.

Honestly, I wouldn't be adding 2 hours to my day twice a week. I wouldn't mind going out if you have friends around but not just so you can have the house to yourself.

But then, I set up I the bedroom upstairs in the first place. So that when dp or my (older kids) are home, I am not impacting them too much.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 17/07/2021 09:33

YANBU op, mine is loving working from home and no real plans to go back. I love my own company or having people over in summer hols but he is ALWAYS THERE wandering around, seeing what’s going on and what I’m up to (in a nice way)
Just one day a week would be nice. He wasn’t around much for the last 25 years as a bit of a workaholic.