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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can I message my child’s ex teacher on Facebook?

251 replies

Haava123 · 17/07/2021 00:37

I’m a single mum, a couple of years a go I had a major crush on my son’s teacher, it was also very clear that he was feeling the same, he couldn’t take his eyes off me, there was so much chemistry between us and we couldn’t hide our smile every time we talk. Unfortunately, this didn’t go anywhere because we didn’t have a chance to make a move. Since then I kept thinking of him although I didn’t see him for over a year because of Covid. I recently found out that he is leaving the school and I feel devastated. I don’t know if he is with someone now, and I don’t know if he is moving to another city but the idea that I’m no going to see him ever again is making me really sad.

Is it ok to send him a message on Facebook? I’m not planning to send him a friend request, and I know it will look really weird and unprofessional, but all I want is to have one private conversation with him, and hopefully stay in contact somehow. Please advise!

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 17/07/2021 00:39

Didn't have a chance to make a move? How so?

WorraLiberty · 17/07/2021 00:41

Bit difficult to say since you've forgotten to tell us what sort of message

BitterTits · 17/07/2021 00:41

He's not your kid's teacher any more so YANBU to contact a man who may have been attract to you.

Streamside · 17/07/2021 00:46

I'm interested in your use of the word "we". We didn't get to make a move,we couldn't hide our smiles.You're just assuming too much and he may have just been friendly.
Why not send him a farewell/ best wishes type card from you and your son.A fb message feels like a step too far.

Original poster
Haava123 · 17/07/2021 00:47

There were always other parents and teachers around, I kept wasting opportunities because I was scared and worried about people gossiping and how this might affect his career.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 17/07/2021 00:50

@Haava123

There were always other parents and teachers around, I kept wasting opportunities because I was scared and worried about people gossiping and how this might affect his career.
He had the same opportunities, though. And failed to act.
GreyhoundG1rl · 17/07/2021 00:52

Have you posted about this before op? It's very familiar.

WorraLiberty · 17/07/2021 00:53

There were always other parents and teachers around

If he had wanted to get you alone, he could easily have done that.

MsMoody · 17/07/2021 00:54

Meh- shoot him a message and tell him what a great teacher he was and wish him luck for the future. See where it goes!

lunar1 · 17/07/2021 00:57

I think if there was a moment it's probably passed.

GreyhoundG1rl · 17/07/2021 00:57

It can't hurt, but don't get your hopes up. It sounds as if you've only ever spoken to him on school premises, surrounded by other parents Confused

Bettysnow · 17/07/2021 00:57

Perhaps send him a friendly good luck message? If hes interested he will keep the contact going if hes not he won't and you'll save yourself any embarrassment

Charliecatpaws · 17/07/2021 01:00

Meh- shoot him a message and tell him what a great teacher he was and wish him luck for the future. See where it goes!

Do this

Original poster
Haava123 · 17/07/2021 01:00

@Streamside

I'm interested in your use of the word "we". We didn't get to make a move,we couldn't hide our smiles.You're just assuming too much and he may have just been friendly. Why not send him a farewell/ best wishes type card from you and your son.A fb message feels like a step too far.
I don’t think I am assuming too much at all. My son won’t be able to give him the card because of the bubble system. I understand that a message on fab feels like a step too far, but it seems like it’s the only way to have a private conversation with him, a farewell card won’t give that.
OP posts:
LadyLolaRuben · 17/07/2021 01:02

@Bettysnow

Perhaps send him a friendly good luck message? If hes interested he will keep the contact going if hes not he won't and you'll save yourself any embarrassment
This
BackforGood · 17/07/2021 01:04

@Bettysnow

Perhaps send him a friendly good luck message? If hes interested he will keep the contact going if hes not he won't and you'll save yourself any embarrassment
This ^
Original poster
Haava123 · 17/07/2021 01:06

@WorraLiberty

There were always other parents and teachers around

If he had wanted to get you alone, he could easily have done that.

He did a couple of times but I kept wasting opportunities (keeping it brief, shying away, pretending to be in a rush) I’m really awkward at these situations 😑
OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 17/07/2021 01:08
Confused
Original poster
Haava123 · 17/07/2021 01:10

@WorraLiberty

Bit difficult to say since you've forgotten to tell us what sort of message
A farewell message, and how of a great teacher he was, that’s all.
OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 17/07/2021 01:10

Bonkers...

Original poster
Haava123 · 17/07/2021 01:12

@lunar1

I think if there was a moment it's probably passed.
☹️
OP posts:
Arrrghh · 17/07/2021 01:13

Tbh I’d just send him a friend request. If you message as a stranger it will go to his alternative inbox and he may never see it.
If he accepts your request, brill, send him a message. If he doesn’t accept, there’s your answer.
He’s moving to a different school- it’s not unprofessional.

Bobonelove · 17/07/2021 01:15

I think you should go for it, shoot your shot, youve got nothing to lose!, keep us posted

BluebellsGreenbells · 17/07/2021 01:17

Come on, you’re an adult! Sent a friendly message wishing him well and say how much he’ll be missed at school.

See if he replies.

BluebellsGreenbells · 17/07/2021 01:18

*at least you’ll know and stop torturing yourself