Overheard parents bitching about me

[Summerisntwhatitusedtobe]

Parents have come to stay at our house for a few weeks. Toddler Dd is very active, parents aren’t old, but I can see how she could wear them out, she wears me out!
Dd went into the front garden and I got the key to lock the front gate and just said to mum if she ever goes in the garden just as a heads up to lock the gate if I’m not here etc (in toilet, getting changed, wherever)
Went to lock it and went to go into the kitchen and heard dad saying to mum why was I saying that to my mum as if she should know, followed by my mum saying how Dd never stops and it’s just a bit tiring. Dad then started to say how my mum has to learn to say no. Bearing in mind, I’ve never asked them to babysit, my sister constantly puts both kids on them, mum used to pick them up every day after school when they were younger and my sister even went away for a week and left them with my mum.
I never ask them for anything, was giving a heads up considering we’re all in the same house for the next few weeks.
Aibu to feel hurt and pissed off by this

What did you say when you went back inside?

Sounds like they might need some time away on their own. Can you send them out for a coffee or do something ?

@WavypurpleWhen I’d just overheard them?

I would have spoken up immediately saying im just telling you incase she asks while we are all together im not asking for you to babysit

And just carry on

How long are you into the few weeks?

I don't think they've said anything too bad, to be honest.

Are you not just getting under each other's feet a bit? I couldn't spend three weeks with my parents

I think a couple are allowed to have a private conversation between themselves and yes sometimes they might mention other people.

Yes it hurts but it's probably best you know how they feel.

Also, re she needs to learn to say no, he probably meant to your sister too. I expect she moans a lot about all she agrees to do!

She has to learn to say no to your sister perhaps x

Yanbu to feel a tiny bit frustrated or hurt but it's really not a big deal

It's hard working having visitors staying over . Toddlers are hard work. So your mum and dad have mildly misunderstood what you said and are having a minor and fairly innocuous grumble between themselves. Forget about it ... or it will be a looooong old few weeks

( Gosh you should hear what I've overheard relatives saying about their families!!! Your parents didn't say much at all)

I think something must have been wrong in your tone which is why your dad took offence. Probably a good idea to hash it out with them

@Theunamedcat Yes, I came in and asked who she has to say no to and that I was giving a heads up for safety in the house as Dd knows how to open the front gate. She looked very guilty, but I’ve never put Dd on her, they’ve literally never even offered to babysit (dad has, not mum) she’s always been so willing with the other kids

We’re only a few days in. I honestly don’t think my tone was off 🤷🏻‍♀️I wasn’t telling my mum what to do and if they can come and stay at ours for weeks on end and not even watch her if I went to the toilet etc..

Maybe your sister let them discipline her kids however they felt like. It seems like they need a break. As pp suggested, maybe send them for a coffee or walk

@Zari29 A break? I can’t help having an active toddler, maybe best not to stay with us then, I can’t curb my toddlers behaviour
They’d already been out for a walk and to a cafe alone earlier

@Zari29 I don’t understand what discipline has to do with it though 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sounds like he thought you were expecting them to look after her while you are not there.

Just keep the door locked. Its easier.

@starfishmummy Yes, I wasn’t but even if I had been doing, they’d begrudge me that after all the minding she’s done for my sister 🤷🏻‍♀️Plus she barely sees Dd as we live a long away. She was also saying she doesn’t she doesn’t remember the other kids being as hard work 🥲Dd is who she is

I can't see where they were "bitching" ?

Why are they staying with you "for a few weeks" ? tbh most guests become hard work after about 3 days.

Are you ok? You come across angry and defensive. Your parents didn’t really say anything that bad. Are you pissed off becayse they look after your siblings kids and not yours?

If DD is that tiring perhaps they should GO HOME .. come back when she's a anguished teenager... problem solved 🤣

@bluntness It did make me feel hurt to hear that as it’s not true, learning to say no, when I’ve literally never even asked them to babysit. I also wouldn’t have thought it that bad to spend some time with Dd

@BackforGood We live abroad and they come to stay with us

Bearing in mind, I’ve never asked them to babysit, my sister constantly puts both kids on them, mum used to pick them up every day after school when they were younger and my sister even went away for a week and left them with my mum

I’ve never put Dd on her, they’ve literally never even offered to babysit (dad has, not mum) she’s always been so willing with the other kids

I wasn’t but even if I had been doing, they’d begrudge me that after all the minding she’s done for my sister

This seems to be the key issue, the fact they live closer to your sister and do more for her? It seems a real sore point for you

I would hardly say that's bitching about you, I couldn't get offended over this, and they are allowed to have a private conversation as a couple. It sounds like you're not actually hurt over this conversation but how your mum treats the grandchildren differently in terms of childcare, which is a separate and different issue to the conversation you overheard.