Family party and the unvaccinated

[JanetPondersley]

My immediate family are throwing a medium sized, outdoor, family party to celebrate all the celebrations we have missed over the last 18 months.

All the Aunts, Uncles, Cousins etc we are close to are invited, along with some close family friends.

We have always been close to one particular cousin and her family. Me and my siblings are close in age to her and her siblings.

The issue is, this particular cousin and her husband are refusing to have the vaccine. I unfriended them a while ago on facebook as the husband likes to share delightful 'patriotic' memes (which is a whole other story), and the husband has fallen hook, line and sinker for all the anti mask / anti vax rhetoric. He calls face masks face nappies and muzzles. (insert the biggest eyeroll you can imagine here)

There will be a number of unvaccinated children there, including a new born who will be somewhere around a month old then. Also a friend who is unable to be vaccinated, so as a family we have decided that we won't be inviting the cousin due to choosing not to be vaccinated.

This has obviously led to drama. Personally, I couldn't care less. If people want to refuse to come because we haven't invited this cousin, they are welcome to not come. But it's really upset my mum, who is elderly and had a shittier than average past 18 months. She wants me and my siblings to back down and keep the peace.

AIBU to stick to our guns and not invite the cousin?

@XenoBitch.

You sound like a great friend.

I’m not having the vaccine until somebody takes the reports about women’s periods disappearing seriously.

I don’t feel in the slightest bit guilty about it🤷‍♀️

I cringe every time I see someone being called unhinged on mumsnet, every bloody thread. Please be a bit more original ffs!

I wouldn't trust a lateral flow. Vunerable friend has just been exposed to covid after a visitor took one, it was negative but the visitor started showing symptoms the next day and got a positive PCR.

With lateral flows you may as well flip a bloody coin TBH

YANBU in terms of not inviting, if he is a zealot, and will spend his time loudly getting digs in or preaching about vaccine, or worse having racist rants. However, YABU to not invite unvaccinated. I am fully vaccinated because of my job, and I felt obliged to protect others.However, I am very worried about the idea of young children being given these new vaccines, when the time comes.

Just to add, I wouldn't be throwing a party, in the current situation, with rapidly rising cases. Some people will judge YOU for that. (Not me, we are still in the territory of not having much of a clue about this pandemic, what's right and wrong thing to do, is unclear.

@Saoirse82

I wouldn't trust a lateral flow. Vunerable friend has just been exposed to covid after a visitor took one, it was negative but the visitor started showing symptoms the next day and got a positive PCR.

Well it would. You have to have it for 2 days irbso before anything shoes up.

Unless people isolate for 2+ days before any event and then take the test just before... there's pretty much no point using them for social situations.

YANBU. He's made his choice, you're allowed to make yours.

YANBU. He's made his choice, you're allowed to make yours

Exactly. Two of my neighbours are planning a street BBQ for next weekend. When they knocked and asked if we would like to chip in and join them, they also asked if we were vaccinated (except the kids, of course). Reason being every, single household they had asked requested if neighbour X would be going (neighbour X is very vocal in letting everyone know they have no intention of getting the vaccine, refuses to wear a mask, is very anti government, has joined various anti government meetings throughout the last 16 months, holds regular meet ups up to 20 friends and relatives in her home, brags on SM about her decision, calls everyone, who has had the vaccination, sheeple etc). The decision whether myself and the neighbours accepted the invitation very much depended on whether X and her family would be there.

They haven’t been invited. I can’t say I’m sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️

Xenobitch - How is someone who chooses not be vaccinated more of a risk than someone who can't?

Behaviour.

Do you really think the CEV, expose themselves to potential covid as much as the vocal anti maskers described above?

@DecayedStrumpet

It’s pointless hoping for a reasoned response from XenoBitch. She isn’t at all bothered that people are losing their lives because of Covid. She really is one of life’s “special” people we should all bow down to. Her “right” not to get the jab because she’s scared 🙄 outweighs the rights of adults/children obtaining life saving operations. My 5 year old DN lost her life because she could not access PICU ward following her operation because there were Covid patients at the hospital. As a result her consultant was forced to cancel her operation for the umpteenth time. She couldn’t hold on for another operation date 🥲 XenoBitch couldn’t have cared less. All through MN we can see posts from her stating she is entitled to NHS treatment should she need it, and demands her “right” to be treated by our NHS should she contract Covid.
It’s bloody sad we have to live alongside people who only think of themselves.

My heart goes out to NHS staff who have no option than to treat those who chose not to help themselves. I sincerely hope our NHS staff will soon be given a choice about who they can treat without posing a Covid risk to them, their families or others 🤞

If you’re worried about covid don’t have a party full stop. The vaccination doesn’t stop you getting or passing it on.

Imagine a "party" with FAMILY wearing masks, who are vaccinated, yet scared of an "anti vaxxer" not taking a trial vaccine... attending....Screams fun

YANBU

I have two friends who are anti vax and anti mask and generally not following the rules.

With cases on the up, I am avoiding them.

Don’t invite them. It’s their choice not to get vaccinated, your choice not to invite them.

[quote KimmyAndMe]@DecayedStrumpet

It’s pointless hoping for a reasoned response from XenoBitch. She isn’t at all bothered that people are losing their lives because of Covid. She really is one of life’s “special” people we should all bow down to. Her “right” not to get the jab because she’s scared 🙄 outweighs the rights of adults/children obtaining life saving operations. My 5 year old DN lost her life because she could not access PICU ward following her operation because there were Covid patients at the hospital. As a result her consultant was forced to cancel her operation for the umpteenth time. She couldn’t hold on for another operation date 🥲 XenoBitch couldn’t have cared less. All through MN we can see posts from her stating she is entitled to NHS treatment should she need it, and demands her “right” to be treated by our NHS should she contract Covid.
It’s bloody sad we have to live alongside people who only think of themselves.

My heart goes out to NHS staff who have no option than to treat those who chose not to help themselves. I sincerely hope our NHS staff will soon be given a choice about who they can treat without posing a Covid risk to them, their families or others 🤞[/quote]
Yes, because the fact your DN died was 100% my fault. I don't know you or your DN, so your obsession with me somehow not caring about people I don't even know exist is a little disturbing.

As I has said to you before, I have a severe phobia that goes way beyond being "scared". Never anywhere have I said I will demand NHS treatment if I get Covid... infact I have said the exact opposite. I have to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act to get treatment as I resist any medical intervention, and that goes for everything.

It was also you that said I should be turned away from A&E if I show up after self-harming/suicide attempt.

@KimmyAndMe

Actually you said this.... this is a direct copy and paste...

If you choose to inflict injuries on yourself why do you expect NHS staff to mop up?

@rubbletrouble

One day, it might be a medical procedure you are not happy with.

And if it was for the best for society and I opted out of helping that, I would happily be excluded and not try and be around people that I could potentially be putting at risk. But then I'm not selfish.

Sanctimonious claptrap.

I wonder how many people going on about getting vaccinated give blood if they are able to.

I wonder how many people going on about getting vaccinated give blood if they are able to.

Exactly.

There have always been smaller numbers of people being affected by various things in society that could have done with these ‘altruistic’ people around before covid. Most people didn’t give a fuck, they didn’t want to know, they certainly didn’t see it as their responsibility to help. Now it’s affecting them ....everyone should be in it together. Fuck that. Where were all these people who are apparently so caring about others before covid? I’ve always cared about others, always volunteered, done charity work, given blood, got involved in community projects.....but now I’m selfish because I’m not having the vaccine. What a load of crap.

I'm very pro vaccine. I'm also a regular blood donor.

I'm very pro vaccine. I'm also a regular blood donor.

The point is only a small percent of those that are eligible do so. The same goes for other things that people can do to help others.

I kind of understand your situation. I have a friend who refused the vaccine and we stopped seeing each other at a regular social (online ) thing over it. However, the whole previous year I'd spend endlessly disagreeing with him on points of principle that were unrelated, and the vaccine thing was just the last straw.

I think it will be like that for a lot of people. It's not about this one party, but about a long history of differing principles that has now come to a head.

I'm not sure what you are meant to do about it. I went my separate ways with my friend, and I think that has been positive. I still email him, but I think we are probably better off separated as we were working together on a project where agreement mattered and we didn't agree.

Sanctimonious claptrap

Absolutely not @igelkott2021. That is exactly what I would do, it's quite astounding that an individual could not see how another would do so. It says more about that individual who is offended by the very statement.
Thankfully, the uptake on the vaccine shows they are in the minority.

I wonder how many people going on about getting vaccinated give blood if they are able to

I’ve had both vaccines, as have all my family members who are of the age to be offered it so far. The teenagers in my immediate and extended family have had one vaccine so far and are keen to get their second. We are all doing what we can to keep ourselves, our elderly relatives, and those who cannot have the vaccine as safe as we can.

We are all regular blood donors. TBH after reading this thread I would say it’s those who haven’t had the vaccine are most likely to not give blood?

The point is only a small percent of those that are eligible do so. The same goes for other things that people can do to help others.

Yes, but people shouldn't stop trying to help others. We shouldn't say because someone doesn't donate blood, they shouldn't do something else to help others , where would it end.

[quote KimmyAndMe]@DecayedStrumpet

It’s pointless hoping for a reasoned response from XenoBitch. She isn’t at all bothered that people are losing their lives because of Covid. She really is one of life’s “special” people we should all bow down to. Her “right” not to get the jab because she’s scared 🙄 outweighs the rights of adults/children obtaining life saving operations. My 5 year old DN lost her life because she could not access PICU ward following her operation because there were Covid patients at the hospital. As a result her consultant was forced to cancel her operation for the umpteenth time. She couldn’t hold on for another operation date 🥲 XenoBitch couldn’t have cared less. All through MN we can see posts from her stating she is entitled to NHS treatment should she need it, and demands her “right” to be treated by our NHS should she contract Covid.
It’s bloody sad we have to live alongside people who only think of themselves.

My heart goes out to NHS staff who have no option than to treat those who chose not to help themselves. I sincerely hope our NHS staff will soon be given a choice about who they can treat without posing a Covid risk to them, their families or others 🤞[/quote]
This is not up to individuals but up to the system.

It was not some random person not getting vaccine. It was the badly functioning, not fit for purpose system causing that.