Family party and the unvaccinated

[JanetPondersley]

My immediate family are throwing a medium sized, outdoor, family party to celebrate all the celebrations we have missed over the last 18 months.

All the Aunts, Uncles, Cousins etc we are close to are invited, along with some close family friends.

We have always been close to one particular cousin and her family. Me and my siblings are close in age to her and her siblings.

The issue is, this particular cousin and her husband are refusing to have the vaccine. I unfriended them a while ago on facebook as the husband likes to share delightful 'patriotic' memes (which is a whole other story), and the husband has fallen hook, line and sinker for all the anti mask / anti vax rhetoric. He calls face masks face nappies and muzzles. (insert the biggest eyeroll you can imagine here)

There will be a number of unvaccinated children there, including a new born who will be somewhere around a month old then. Also a friend who is unable to be vaccinated, so as a family we have decided that we won't be inviting the cousin due to choosing not to be vaccinated.

This has obviously led to drama. Personally, I couldn't care less. If people want to refuse to come because we haven't invited this cousin, they are welcome to not come. But it's really upset my mum, who is elderly and had a shittier than average past 18 months. She wants me and my siblings to back down and keep the peace.

AIBU to stick to our guns and not invite the cousin?

"I also presume the husband at least will also refuse to wear a mask when getting food."

Why would he be wearing a mask?

xoJellyBean
"That's so unfair. I have chosen not to be vaccinated and should not be discriminated against because of my choice! Like others have said, LFTs are available so let everyone test themselves before they arrive. YABU!"

Nah the OP choice tough titties if you think it is unfair. I rather have children and a baby there personally and think of them rather than the bloke who uses the words 'face nappy' - I mean what kind of prat does that!

PS - why do you have to back down but the twat that uses the term 'face nappies' and all the other twat terms doesn't. Don't give in tot he idiot.

"Sibling has requested LFT's are done the morning of the party."

well unless the entire party have isolated for 2+ days before hand, the the LFT will be an utter waste of time...

I think you’re totally justified. To the poster that said ‘why should I be discriminated against because I chose not to have a vaccine?’ - that’s not discrimination. That’s a consequence. You CHOSE not to have a vaccine, therefore not being invited to things, and not being able to travel as much, is a direct consequence of your choice.

You absolutely have bodily autonomy and the right to refuse a vaccine. However that doesn’t mean you have the right to still just do whatever you want. Having the vaccine carries (minimal) potential risks and side effects, but the benefit is that I now will get to travel more freely, and feel more safe in seeing friends and family. You chose not to risk the vaccine, so you don’t get it’s benefits.

I think that’s totally fair.

I don't really care whether people are vaccinated or not, but I agree with the OP about the phrase "face nappy". Although I'd happily invite him to tell him he's a childish arse. But I guess that would upset your mum too.

I don't understand doing a LFT if you've been double vaccinated though. They are not very reliable, and surely the vaccination is many times more reliable than a LFT.

It's very unlikely that cousin will have covid anyway, but as it's outside if they do have it and don't know, it's extremely unlikely that they would pass it on. The relative with the blood cancer is sadly vulnerable to many things, not just covid. Are you going to police everyone's flu vaccine status too? Or whether they've paid £££ to get their kids the chicken pox vaccine?

I have had AZ which is showing much less effective against Delta

Well that's not true, but if you don't trust the vaccine why does SIL trust LFTs? And if you don't trust the vaccine why do you care if cousin has had it? If it doesn't work, there's no point having it, is there?

Give your head a wobble and invite them.

@igelkott2021

I do trust the vaccine, and the latest data re AZ and delta is true. I was vaccinated early (January & February). I would happily now get the Pfizer as well if I was able to as a top up, belt and braces kind of thing.

You obviously hate the guy.

You're using the vaccination issue as an excuse to not invite him. Even though even your mum wants you to.

You're not even confident in your own vaccine! But want him to have one anyway...

It's an outdoor event, with masks and lateral flows. Don't be so fucking ridiculous. I see straight through you.

[quote JanetPondersley]@igelkott2021

I do trust the vaccine, and the latest data re AZ and delta is true. I was vaccinated early (January & February). I would happily now get the Pfizer as well if I was able to as a top up, belt and braces kind of thing.[/quote]
I have had AZ which is showing much less effective against Delta

Why did you say this then?

You're being really bizarre and a bully to let SOME unvaccinated people come, but not ALL the unvaccinated people come. How controlling and horrible of you. Their reasons for what they decide to do with their own bodies is literally none of your business.

@hawkehurstgang

You're being really bizarre and a bully to let SOME unvaccinated people come, but not ALL the unvaccinated people come. How controlling and horrible of you. Their reasons for what they decide to do with their own bodies is literally none of your business.

OP hates the guy. Vaccine is just an excuse.

I've actually just RTFT and have come to that conclusion myself, too! Just be honest about why you're not inviting him. The vaccine thing makes you sound a bit unhinged. The "you're a massive racist" thing is an excellent reason.

this is such a funny thread. He sounds like a right cunt. You're being measured and sensible. There's always a core of posters who like to trot out the 'get help for you anxiety line' and I'm willing to bet they haven't lost anyone they love to this shitty disease or any of the surrounding aftermath.

Yeah I agree with you, OP.

The wilfully unvaccinated are frustrating because they increase the risk to the rest of us, and will prolong the pandemic.

However, I have some sympathy with those who are anxious about taking it for whatever reason. I'd make my own risk assessment before socialising and maintain social distancing.

Covid deniers on the other hand, particularly the evangelical ones, I have no interest in spending any time with.

@hawkehurstgang

You're being really bizarre and a bully to let SOME unvaccinated people come, but not ALL the unvaccinated people come. How controlling and horrible of you. Their reasons for what they decide to do with their own bodies is literally none of your business.

You are a bully to not invite someone to a family party, because you don't agree with their views?

I think most people are against forced vaccines and respect the idea that people should have a choice.

But that does not mean we have to respect the choice you make, and it certainly doesn't mean we're morally obligated to invite you to parties.

So you’re ok with unvaccinated people being there, as long as they aren’t able to be vaccinated. So it’s not about safety, it’s about punishing a person for not having made her same choice as you. This isn’t logical.

However, I wouldn’t mix with people who share ‘patriotic’ memes anyway. He sounds like a racist dickhead.

No they are family. You might not agree with their views but that's crazy.

@SupermanWithTheGreyHair

So you’re ok with unvaccinated people being there, as long as they aren’t able to be vaccinated. So it’s not about safety, it’s about punishing a person for not having made her same choice as you. This isn’t logical.

However, I wouldn’t mix with people who share ‘patriotic’ memes anyway. He sounds like a racist dickhead.

Of course it's about safety. They safety of those who have NO CHOICE and can not be vaccinated. Their needs come first. Stop being so willfully ignorant. It's not about making allowances for the vulnerable but protecting them.

I get so confused on threads like these. Even when it's not about vaccinations.

If you have different views to people who you happened to be related to, you still have to invite them to things?

How far does that go? Is there a point that you can decide you don't want to include certain family members?

Of course it's about safety. They safety of those who have NO CHOICE and can not be vaccinated. Their needs come first. Stop being so willfully ignorant. It's not about making allowances for the vulnerable but protecting them.

But people are at risk from anyone that’s unvaccinated, regardless of the reason for them not being vaccinated. I could be vaccinated but have chosen not to be. My kids can’t be vaccinated yet. None of us are seeing CEV or CV relatives/friends because we all pose a risk to them. I wouldn’t be ok with my kids seeing them anymore than I would be me seeing them.

It’s not logical. But regardless, people can choose to not have anyone attend a party they are holding. For any reason.

I wouldn't invite them purely on the basis that they sound like twats

YABU

How is someone who chooses not be vaccinated more of a risk than someone who can't?

Either you ban all unvaccinated people, or you invite all unvaccinated people. Banning someone for a choice just makes you look petty tbh

If you are that worried, insist on LFTs for everyone.