Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My bridesmaid hates her dress?

496 replies

JackieBrown63 · 16/07/2021 09:43

Hi Mumsnetters! My fiance and I are getting married in less than a month and we are super excited for the big day. However, my Maid of Honor keeps pushing me to change her bridesmaid dress by cutting it up to make it short or changing the straps. I honestly did my best to work with them both and thought we came up with a dress that was a nice compromise between both their styles (I only have 2 bridesmaids). I've told my MOH that I am happy to make small alterations to make the dress more flattering if that makes her happy but don't want to change the style of the dress as I'd really like them both to match (if I have 6 bridesmaids it would be fine to have them all in a different style but think it would look odd as I only have 2). She keeps pushing the issue and I don't want to be difficult but don't see the point of them wearing "bridesmaid dresses" at all if they don't match. This is just a small issue compared to everything else but it's the day before my hen do and I just want to relax and enjoy it but right now I'm feeling teary and not much up for a laugh! Any advice would be appreciated :) x

OP posts:
takemetomars · 16/07/2021 10:30

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

Your friend is more important than your wedding photos.
You could say the same thing to her MoH??
Blondeshavemorefun · 16/07/2021 10:31

Doesn’t matter if style isn’t the same. As long as colour is

If she wants to change and pay the difference what’s the problem

She’s your friend. You want her to feel nice

Can we see a pic of the dress

ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 16/07/2021 10:31

Your wedding your choice. I bent over backwards for a picky spoilt moh and it almost broke me. The stress this person caused me was unbelievable. Screeds and screeds of messages arguing with me. I tried so hard to please. All it did was stress me out and although beautiful the dresses were a million miles from what I wanted. It’s your day. Your choice. Your decision. If they want to be picky they can save it for aTheir Wedding day. It’s only a dress, it’s only a day. If she can’t do that for you she shouldn’t have agreed to be moh.

onlyhereforthecake · 16/07/2021 10:31

@Demelza82

Can't believe the pandering responses here. Your friend is a CF and needs to wind her neck in
I agree, but realistically, what's the poor OP supposed to do? In theory it would be great if she could sack her as a bridesmaid, but in real life?

But the MOH sounds like she wants to turn the day around herself, it's not normal to make such a fuss about a dress.

Sushirolls · 16/07/2021 10:31

@Demelza82

Can't believe the pandering responses here. Your friend is a CF and needs to wind her neck in
This ^^
Blossomtoes · 16/07/2021 10:33

@onlyhereforthecake

Bridesmaidzillas are an another kind of CF entirely, seriously
Only if they’re not paying for the dress. It’s one day, suck it up cupcake.
BeIIend · 16/07/2021 10:33

Your friend is more important than your wedding photos.

As a pp has said. Could you not say that to the MOH? Your photos in someone else's wedding are not as important as your friend, the bride.

Enough4me · 16/07/2021 10:35

What a PITA. I'd say she wears the dress as originally agreed or is no longer a bridesmaid but a guest.

Cocolapew · 16/07/2021 10:35

She needs to suck it up, is she used to being the center of attention?

HotChoc10 · 16/07/2021 10:36

However I would like to see the dress to make a full judgement!

cutebutscary · 16/07/2021 10:36

God you don't need the stress really , especially if it's making you upset before your hen night . Tell her if she pays to have the straps adjusted it's fine ('if you don't mind the change ) it does seem a bit ungrateful tho so flick her off and I'll be your bridesmaid instead ! I've never been one and will happily wear a sack 😂

Maxiedog123 · 16/07/2021 10:37

What time exactly are the changes eg a couple of inches off hem as she is short vs midthigh

AndytheUnicorn · 16/07/2021 10:37

As it’s a long day to feel uncomfortable I’d let her alter the dress. However as she previously agreed on the dress and has already booked a seamstress ask her if she’s comfortable to take on the expense as you can’t afford to pay anymore.

godmum56 · 16/07/2021 10:38

I could get wanting to go to longer from short but what is her problem with long? It wasn't a problem for me btw I had my 6 week old niece as my only bridesmaid and she wore a miniature baby friendly replica of my dress (high waist long skirt, bishop sleeves, velvet ribbon sash)

Ohanaa · 16/07/2021 10:38

Just tell her to suck it up.

It’s one day. I recently went to a wedding the bride picked some utterly horrible unflattering dresses for her BMs. They still all wore them though!

HarebrightCedarmoon · 16/07/2021 10:38

My bridesmaids were both adult women so I just let them choose their own outfits. As it happens they did agree on matching dresses and were incredibly easy about it.

I wouldn't care TBH if she was paying for the alterations.

Franklyfrost · 16/07/2021 10:38

When you say yes to being a bridesmaid you’re agreeing to wear a bridesmaid outfit. Your friend should just put the dress on and grin and bear it for half a day. Why does she care? Is she planning on using the dress for other occasions and taking the opportunity to have a customised outfit?

DianeCherry · 16/07/2021 10:39

Bridesmaids never like their dresses because mostly they are awful. Fact of life.

Guavafish · 16/07/2021 10:40

Let her do and pay for her own alterations. It’s not a big deal honestly

Fieldsofstars · 16/07/2021 10:40

If she’s not comfortable with the dress she isn’t being unreasonable. When you agree to be someone’s bridesmaid you don’t agree to be a doll they can dress up as they please.
It seems you care more about matching dresses than you do your maid of honour.

claralara42 · 16/07/2021 10:41

I don't know what to say to her.

Tell he to shut up and wear the dress or sod off.

BattineBlooms · 16/07/2021 10:42

@DianeCherry

Bridesmaids never like their dresses because mostly they are awful. Fact of life.
I agree.
pussycatlickinglollyices · 16/07/2021 10:42

@Enough4me

What a PITA. I'd say she wears the dress as originally agreed or is no longer a bridesmaid but a guest.
I'd get the dress back and see if another friend was available. Ditch the attention-seeking MOH. She can stand at the back in a white frock if she wants...😂
whynotwhatknot · 16/07/2021 10:42

Shes a rude cow agreed to it let you pay and tailor it now wants something else done

Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/07/2021 10:43

Realistically, what's the poor OP supposed to do?

How about "MOH, you seem uncomfortable about the arrangements, which surprised me when you'd already agreed ... are you sure you still want to do this, because I'd quite understand if you prefer to drop out and enjoy rhe day as a guest"?

It might or might not pull her up short, and if it doesn't you really will know what you're dealing with - especially as one demand's likely to spawn another as the day looms