Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 19 20

Original poster

My bridesmaid hates her dress?

496 replies

JackieBrown63 · 16/07/2021 09:43

Hi Mumsnetters! My fiance and I are getting married in less than a month and we are super excited for the big day. However, my Maid of Honor keeps pushing me to change her bridesmaid dress by cutting it up to make it short or changing the straps. I honestly did my best to work with them both and thought we came up with a dress that was a nice compromise between both their styles (I only have 2 bridesmaids). I've told my MOH that I am happy to make small alterations to make the dress more flattering if that makes her happy but don't want to change the style of the dress as I'd really like them both to match (if I have 6 bridesmaids it would be fine to have them all in a different style but think it would look odd as I only have 2). She keeps pushing the issue and I don't want to be difficult but don't see the point of them wearing "bridesmaid dresses" at all if they don't match. This is just a small issue compared to everything else but it's the day before my hen do and I just want to relax and enjoy it but right now I'm feeling teary and not much up for a laugh! Any advice would be appreciated :) x

OP posts:

onlyhereforthecake · 16/07/2021 10:12

Bridesmaidzillas are an another kind of CF entirely, seriously

slashlover · 16/07/2021 10:13

If you had gone out and picked the dress then I would have said YWBU but as she agreed and you had them custom made then she IBU.

Original poster

JackieBrown63 · 16/07/2021 10:14

They are strapless dresses with a mesh top and a bit of sparkle so that both bridesmaids feel comfortable. They're so pretty and that's what drew me to the dresses in the first place. They're also exactly the same as the dresses she chose for her wedding just a long version. I wouldn't mind if I felt like I had a choice but she's gone and booked a seamstress to change the dress without me agreeing to it. I would be happy to change the straps too as long as the overall look is nice and I agree to the changes. I don't know what to say to her.

OP posts:

Sewaccidentprone · 16/07/2021 10:14

In my early 20’s I was a bridesmaid for my sister. I really disliked mine and it had scratchy net around the shoulders.

But it was her choice, her day and that’s what she wanted. So I didn’t say anything. I just wanted her to be happy on her wedding day.

Think your friend is being selfish.

Ponoka7 · 16/07/2021 10:15

If she agreed to it then she's out of order. I wonder if she thinks that as MOH her dress should be different to the bridesmaid, because that's the norm. The colours and general style should be similar, but they should be different to show different roles.

Ponoka7 · 16/07/2021 10:17

If she's paying for the alterations then I'd leave her to it. Perhaps she doesn't like that it is the same as she had at her wedding?

onlyhereforthecake · 16/07/2021 10:17

but she's gone and booked a seamstress to change the dress without me agreeing to it.

if the seamstress hasn't started the work, at least tell her it should be the straps and nothing else.

What a strange behaviour from that woman, she is not behaving like your friend at all, is she always trying to get all the attention?

I'd have a word with the photographer and make sure she's not on any photo.. she's taking the piss too much.

stealthninjamum · 16/07/2021 10:19

As she had already agreed to the dress it sounds like she’s being unreasonable now wanting it changed.

Has she put on weight over covid? That might make her more self conscious.

Outbutnotoutout · 16/07/2021 10:21

She should just wear the bloody dress

HotChoc10 · 16/07/2021 10:24

Another one saying she should suck it up, especially as she agreed and you've already paid for them... but also just because she should be trying to make planning the day easier for you, not harder.

Carboholic · 16/07/2021 10:24

I would not dream of telling another woman what to wear. Change the dress.

Chocolateandamaretto · 16/07/2021 10:24

I'm a bridesmaid for my sister in a week. The bridesmaids are wearing different dresses because we are quite different shapes/sizes and my sister wanted us to be comfy. I couldn't get too worked up about this tbh!

CallMeNutribullet · 16/07/2021 10:25

Honestly op is it really worth the drama? She for whatever reason feels uncomfortable in the dress. She's someone you are close to, let her do what she needs to do to feel comfortable.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 16/07/2021 10:25

I saw from your update that you'd paid for it. In this case, the final say is yours.

CastawayQueen · 16/07/2021 10:25

You know your friend best - does she have a point or is she being attention seeking?
The time to complain is when dresses were being chosen, not now when they have been made and paid for - by another person.
Complaining about a free dress is another level of CF-ery altogether

Bryterlayter1 · 16/07/2021 10:25

I've got to say, I think your friend is BU. It's your day, not hers. Part of being a bride's maid is accepting that your dress needs to fit in with the overall wedding themes.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 16/07/2021 10:25

She agreed to the style and you've paid for it?
In that case she doesn't get to change her mind at the last minute!

This ^^

The "not being able to find another dress she's happy with" suggests this could just be attention seeking, and booking her own alterations without agreeing it with you is completely off

Does she have form for behaving like this I wonder?

polkadotclip · 16/07/2021 10:26

I was going to say - let her work with ther existing dress but make whatever changes she wants out of her own pocket. Then I saw she had booked a seamstress. So, problem solved. You have bridesmaids in toning dresses, you look fabulous, no-one looks at the bridesmaids... no issue!

Deep breath. Your day will be great. Who cares what she is wearing, once the general colour you wanted is there.

BeIIend · 16/07/2021 10:26

You know what? I don't think you are being unreasonable. It's a dress she's wearing for a few hours at most. She didn't pay for it. And it' for her friend's wedding and she's the MOH. I mean suck it up. Ugly bridesmaid's dresses are practically a tradition. If it was ver revealing and she felt uncomfortable I would say differently but this is the oppisite? She just doesn't like the look of it. Suck it up for your friend, wear the dress and shut up. It's not her wedding and she's very rude to alter it without asking.

CastawayQueen · 16/07/2021 10:27

Also to add - if she really wan to a different dress she reimburses you for it

Demelza82 · 16/07/2021 10:28

Can't believe the pandering responses here. Your friend is a CF and needs to wind her neck in

Wellpark · 16/07/2021 10:29

If all else fails, this company has quick lead times
www.jjshouse.co.uk/Cheap-Bridesmaid-Dresses-c7/#/

BeIIend · 16/07/2021 10:29

And I'm one of those who spent about a tenner on a registry basics affair. So I'm hardly a bridezilla. But you let the bride and groom have their day

Buffoonborisisatwat · 16/07/2021 10:30

@JackieBrown63

I obviously don't wish her to be uncomfortable but we all decided on these dresses, had them tailor-made for them and I've paid a lot of money for them. I would be happy for her to get another dress but I really can't afford to buy another one and we haven't found a different dress she is happy with.

let her change the dress so she's comfortable. she should pay any additional costs though.

BeIIend · 16/07/2021 10:30

Ask her how she would have felt if you had added a panel to make it longer when you wore it as her bridesmaid?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 19 20