Step daughter and bedroom size

[Squeakysqueal]

I would appreciate some advice on this situation. We have Step DD who’s 11 and lives 50/50 between ours and her mum’s, DS also 11, and DD who’s 6, who live with us full time and a baby on the way. We’re moving house and our new house isn’t quite as big, the same amount of bedrooms but smaller. The plan has been for Step DD to have the smallest room and DS and DD to have the slightly bigger rooms. Step DD is upset by how small her room is, it is a small room so I understand that. There’s only really space for a single bed and a wardrobe or drawers. DH has suggested DD going in the smaller room with her being quite a bit younger but I think it makes sense with living arrangements for step DD to have it. Especially as when the baby is old enough she’ll be sharing the bigger room. Step DD says she wouldn’t mind sharing with the baby in the future but I think she definitely will, she’ll be a teenager by then. We could have DS in the small room but again with him being here full time and step DD part time it makes sense. She feels like there’s some favouritism going on and I can see why it feels that way from her perspective but that’s definitely not the case. I’ve said we can decorate the room however she likes but she’s just not happy with the situation

Those age gaps are a nightmare OP. What’s the plan for when you have two 17 year olds, a 12 year old and a 7 year old - sharing won’t work so well then

It’s fine. It’s only a five-year age gap, whichever way you swing it. Many children I know with a five-year age gap shared one small room in bunk beds until the older went off to university.

@daisypond

Those age gaps are a nightmare OP. What’s the plan for when you have two 17 year olds, a 12 year old and a 7 year old - sharing won’t work so well then

It’s fine. It’s only a five-year age gap, whichever way you swing it. Many children I know with a five-year age gap shared one small room in bunk beds until the older went off to university.

By 17, most teenagers aren't too keen on having having overnight "contact" anyway IMO. It generally stops being so regular and routine as they get their own friends and social life, IME.

You got me wrong, I'm happily married with three kids, and have never been an ex. Lol
Are you a stepparent? Or had to navigate blending families?

In your situation, I’d have the 2 eldest in the bigger rooms, and the youngest in the smaller one. Baby in with you until they go into a bed, then they go into the middle bedroom with the youngest. The 2 eldest share the biggest bedroom and the small room becomes a play room. Yeah totally a great idea to shove two non related opposite sex nearly teens / teens in one room....

I think it has to be the way you suggest. Putting a child who is there full time in the small room while a larger room sits empty for half the year is daft.

Tell her she can decorate however she likes, and offer the double level bed/desk. If you have the budget let her pick out the design she prefers.

Wow, I remember being a teen In a box room for 5 years. It was traumatising! Yes I had a bed, drawers, shelves... all of my items..BUT I had no desk! I had to do my homework sitting on my bed or downstairs. I didn't have a double bed (that I would use 40% of!!!). Oh it just gives me flashbacks thinking about it .... AND it was full time, maybe I should set up a gofund me

I really don't know what the issue is tbh. You've decided that's her room and that should be final. Just tell her she is growing into a young lady and needs her own space so she has been give them box room so she has her own space.

Frame it as a positive exciting move... what's actually wrong with people? You're the adult/parent and you've made a decision about your home!

Stop over complicating things.... she will appreciate it as she gets older and will realise she has been given her own space over her little sister so won't feel pushed out.