Cheeky fucker texting my dh

[Mojitoqueen]

Dd has a friend at school. I arranged a play date for her and her friend. Turned out I was working so dh picked up the girls and took them out. We’ve never met the girl or her parents before.
Dh said the mum asked him in for tea but he declined. They chatted at the door. Her husband works abroad.
Dh works away from home down south, we are up north. He’s home at weekends.
After the play date she texted dh the usual thank yous.
She’s texted dh today and asked if whilst he’s down south if he could meet her brother and get a box of her things in his car to bring to our home so she can pick up.
Dh replied and said he was four hours away from her brother so won’t be able to do it.
She has since texted him again with approx distances from train stations etc.
I’ve told dh I don’t want a relationship with her, I’ve never met her and it was just to let the kids play. I don’t want her texting my dh for favours and have snapped at dh wanting to be the nice guy and help out, he thinks it’s funny but I’m not happy she’s texting my dh.

Aibu to tell him to stop replying to her?
I now feel uncomfortable arranging anything again.

I think @Msdoglady is right.

So, here is what I think I would do.
Send her a message.
Dear Linda, /insert name. Both my dh and I were pleased that dc enjoyed their time out with our child.
Having received your message we initially thought that you were joking and had a little chuckle together. However after reading further through we got the idea that you seriously thought that this was a viable option request.
My husband comes home when he can and we are sure that you will understand that we want to spend as much time together as possible. Therefore he will not under any circumstances be acting as a driver. I suggest that you ask your brother to pack up your things and either post them or employ a courier. Best wishes. See you at school.

That woman is a massive cf 🤣🤣🤣 I wouldn’t dream of pushing even a very good friend to go 4 hours out of way to pick up a box of stuff for me. Send her the link to the websites where you can get courier services.. I once got a quote from moving a flat pack table from up north to London abd it was under 50 quid…

We had something similar with relatives, we are in the south, they are up north, they wanted us to pick up a massive Facebook marketplace purchase, store it for them AND take it up north at our next visit. Erm, no.

Of COURSE YANBU. And anyone saying you ARE, would be reacting exactly the same as you if the same thing happened to them

@FlaminEckVera so far from the truth. My DH has, and always had, friends who I don't always know well, of the opposite (and the same) sex. As have I. We're grown ups and aren't insecure.

OP you're letting your insecurity (also jealousy?) run riot.

It is not CFery to ask someone a favor and it is OK, as your DH did, to say no. She's pushing the boundaries of politeness by pushing but it's up to your DH to be firm.

And sure, maybe he is enjoying her attention and/or your reaction. So stop playing his game. And then tell him how it isn't acceptable to you.

As for all the "block her on his phone" bloody Norah. Is everyone insecure? Am I the weird one? My DHs Bestie is a woman. They meet up after work for dinner and/or drinks fairly often. Sometimes with her DH, sometimes with me. I don't lose any sleep over it. I would know when to worry that something was going on with him tho. But then I'd talk to him. Like a grown up.

PrettyLittleFlies

Not everyone enjoy drama and control at home my dear 🤷

Is it the school holidays? Are there some children trolling on here?

I see my post has been deleted, it's interesting as it was literally quoting the second paragraph of the OP!

I won't repeat it, I am following the guidelines, but it's the OP who wrote that sentence!
Her post hasn't been deleted funnily enough...

@notthemum

So, here is what I think I would do. Send her a message. Dear Linda, /insert name. Both my dh and I were pleased that dc enjoyed their time out with our child. Having received your message we initially thought that you were joking and had a little chuckle together. However after reading further through we got the idea that you seriously thought that this was a viable option request. My husband comes home when he can and we are sure that you will understand that we want to spend as much time together as possible. Therefore he will not under any circumstances be acting as a driver. I suggest that you ask your brother to pack up your things and either post them or employ a courier. Best wishes. See you at school.

I wouldn't advise doing that. It's just escalating it and giving far too much explanation.

@Meraas

We had something similar with relatives, we are in the south, they are up north, they wanted us to pick up a massive Facebook marketplace purchase, store it for them AND take it up north at our next visit. Erm, no.

Maybe we are related??? My basement is full of ‘things’ my husband was directed to pick up abd store for others till we can deliver them at sone unknown point in future . Drives me bonkers

YANBU her brother is neither of your responsibilities

@onlyhereforthecake

I see my post has been deleted, it's interesting as it was literally quoting the second paragraph of the OP!

I won't repeat it, I am following the guidelines, but it's the OP who wrote that sentence!
Her post hasn't been deleted funnily enough...

Maybe you deleted for your response to OP? I didn’t see it but that would be the logical thought.

@onlyhereforthecake

I see my post has been deleted, it's interesting as it was literally quoting the second paragraph of the OP!

I won't repeat it, I am following the guidelines, but it's the OP who wrote that sentence!
Her post hasn't been deleted funnily enough...

Ffs! 😂

Maybe we are related??? My basement is full of ‘things’ my husband was directed to pick up abd store for others till we can deliver them at sone unknown point in future . Drives me bonkers

Sounds like you are also the errand running and taken for granted branch of family!

@notthemum

So, here is what I think I would do. Send her a message. Dear Linda, /insert name. Both my dh and I were pleased that dc enjoyed their time out with our child. Having received your message we initially thought that you were joking and had a little chuckle together. However after reading further through we got the idea that you seriously thought that this was a viable option request. My husband comes home when he can and we are sure that you will understand that we want to spend as much time together as possible. Therefore he will not under any circumstances be acting as a driver. I suggest that you ask your brother to pack up your things and either post them or employ a courier. Best wishes. See you at school.

Dear God... Why not leave it to the grown man to deal with himself rather than acting like his mother? Suggesting the op contact this woman on her dh's behalf is ridiculous enough. That suggested text is cringeworthy beyond belief... Had a little chuckle together .

@notthemum

So, here is what I think I would do. Send her a message. Dear Linda, /insert name. Both my dh and I were pleased that dc enjoyed their time out with our child. Having received your message we initially thought that you were joking and had a little chuckle together. However after reading further through we got the idea that you seriously thought that this was a viable option request. My husband comes home when he can and we are sure that you will understand that we want to spend as much time together as possible. Therefore he will not under any circumstances be acting as a driver. I suggest that you ask your brother to pack up your things and either post them or employ a courier. Best wishes. See you at school.

Hahaha you sound like a nutcase, there can’t be any way you would actually send that to someone.

I absolutely hate ‘you sound unhinged’

It is fucking rude beyond belief. I’ve had that insult directed at me when I’m going against the crowd for a perfectly valid reason.

Anyway. I digress.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable to question this behaviour. For what is essentially a pick up/drop off doorstep meet, ahe is chancing her arm with fuckerycheek at best, possibly creepy/I’ll intentioned at worst.

He should be putting a stop to it if it makes you this uncomfortable. It isn’t a case of being controlling. It is a case of your gut saying thinks are ‘off’ here.

It might not be her wanting to swing off your man’s jewels. But it is over familiar and I’d be asking why a courier/family member couldn’t assist. Why your Man as a knight in shining armour?

ill-intentioned

Things

Bollocks. Off a nightshift and clearly not in proof read mode. Sorry.

Dear God...
Why not leave it to the grown man to deal with himself rather than acting like his mother?
Suggesting the op contact this woman on her dh's behalf is ridiculous enough. That suggested text is cringeworthy beyond belief...
Had a little chuckle together confused.

Mumsnet loves a scripted response. Its the supremely patronising smug ones that I like best with the author utterly convinced of that their wit and that their carefully crafted word salad would stop any protagonist in their tracks. The reality of course is that in most situations you would imagine if said script were ever delivered to the intended recipient they would just burst into tears of laughter or give you a slap.

Send this:

CF, CF, CF, CFffffffff
I'm begging of you please don't text my man
CF, CF, CF, CFffffffff
Please don't ask him to take the parcel just because you cannnnn

Your packing skills are beyond compare
With lots of texts to ask him where
And with your brother living near
But 2 minutes on the doorstep and all this pain
And he can't pick it up for you
CF

We've been talking about you on mumsnet in our sleep
And there's nothing I can do to keep
From thinking YABU
CF

And I could easily understand
How you could easily ask my man
But you don't know how big the South East is
CF

I think it could work

@Nayday lawl