To think these groups of men in the park are a bit weird

[SinoAZ]

I'm not in the UK so I guess there's cultural expectations that might be different but I'm British and would like to know what other British mums think/how you'd react to this. Do people even do this in the UK?

Since restrictions lifted I've been taking my 18 month old DD to the park. We used to go before restrictions and we'd see old people walking, other families etc and sometimes chat to them. Now because of continuing restrictions there are lots of people not working so there are largeish groups of young men who hang around the park (maybe 6 or 7 of them). They sit at the picnic benches or swing on the swings which of course is fine, it's a nice place to be. But they keep shouting at my DD. They'll call out to her "hello baby girl" repeatedly and wave and make faces/silly noises which, to me, just feels a bit inappropriate. Like yes say hello/wave to her if she comes near you but to shout so repeatedly makes me uncomfortable.

DH says they're harmless and probably just miss their own kids (I think they're immigrants like me but will have come to work here and left their families in their home country). I don't feel threatened by them at all but I can't help feel that they wouldn't be shouting at her if she was with DH and it feels like that male entitlement to women's time/attention again. AIBU to feel a bit uncomfortable with this?

Maybe it's just a lifetime of experiences like this with men colouring my view but I hate that expectation that when a man wants to speak to you he can be so insistent and refuse to take no for an answer. I don't want that to be happening to my daughter before she's even two.

Sorry that was long, a bit of a vent as well as an AIBU.

And there's nothing 'woke' about calling out obvious bigotry when you see it. 'Woke' in the context you're using it is just a word that people like you use to deflect away from their prejudice.

All the other racists on this thread have had the sense to use innuendo and suggestion to couch their leanings. This is clearly beyond you. You''ve outed yourself.

@thedancingbear

they may live in labour camps, they may only see their families once every five years , they may have come from remote villages in their homeland , they may be unused to seeing Western women ( if this is the case) , they may be used to just squatting on the ground for a pee, they may go in the sea in underpants that become see through and offensive when wet , they may stare , they may crowd you in public spaces , they may gather in groups and catcall etc

So, immigrants are poor, dirty, shit in holes, they're rapey, and when they go in the sea you can see their cocks.

Fucking despicable racist shit. You should be ashamed.

Where did I say they were "rapey" ? I didn't say this . I am stating my real life experiences in living abroad . This sadly is the reality of life in many of the countries people on here love to holiday in. It's not racist . They are facts - no not all of them but yes many . Its different values , cultures etc as have already been discussed ...have you lived abroad most of your life in situations like this ? If you had then you would recognise what I am saying but hey it's much easier to shout racist . You have NO IDEA what I have worked at in these countries or have been involved in . When you do then come back and call me a racist 🙄

have you lived abroad most of your life in situations like this ?

I've worked in three countries and I don't recognise the racist stereotypes you're peddling.

Really then you must be very unobservant or you lived in ex pat bubbles . Anyway I have finished my conversation with you

Yep me too. I've no time for pissing matches with small-minded racists.

[quote SinoAZ]@Pretzelcoatl I know men sometimes find it hard to understand but this thread isn't about you and what you've done in the past. Did you even read what I wrote? If that's how you behaved then people were well within their rights to find your behaviour very odd.[/quote]
I did, and my reply was to @Pigeonpocket who had replied to me.

No need for the “men sometimes find it hard to understand” patronizing - there are side conversations going on all through this thread.

Went back to the park with DH today, there was nobody sat around as we saw some police bikes (technically you're not supposed to be sitting) so assume all the usual groups that sit there had gone.

@Pretzelcoatl wasn't it your first post that was about how it was sad women are mean to men about things like this as they're just (like you) "being nice".

@MrsMaizel as I said before, your attitude is fucked up. It is racist.

Grown adults who hang around a swing park without kids are always suspect.

@SinoAZ

Went back to the park with DH today, there was nobody sat around as we saw some police bikes (technically you're not supposed to be sitting) so assume all the usual groups that sit there had gone.

@Pretzelcoatl wasn't it your first post that was about how it was sad women are mean to men about things like this as they're just (like you) "being nice".

@MrsMaizel as I said before, your attitude is fucked up. It is racist.

and as I said to you before you are very naive about living in a foreign country . If you are so clued upon it all and is it ok why are you on here bleating about it ?

@SinoAZ

Sorry, I confused you with the other "Mrs".

Yes thank you .

@SinoAZ

Went back to the park with DH today, there was nobody sat around as we saw some police bikes (technically you're not supposed to be sitting) so assume all the usual groups that sit there had gone.

@Pretzelcoatl wasn't it your first post that was about how it was sad women are mean to men about things like this as they're just (like you) "being nice".

@MrsMaizel as I said before, your attitude is fucked up. It is racist.

No.

My first post was copping to giving small children an amusing/entertaining non-interrupting visual as they’re carried/wheeled past, which overlapped with what your own first post found annoying.

I then went on to say that it was only when I was in the UK (where I’m not from), as opposed to other countries, that I found any parents who got weird about it. Parents, not women specifically. And weird, not mean.

@SinoAZ

Went back to the park with DH today, there was nobody sat around as we saw some police bikes (technically you're not supposed to be sitting) so assume all the usual groups that sit there had gone.

@Pretzelcoatl wasn't it your first post that was about how it was sad women are mean to men about things like this as they're just (like you) "being nice".

@MrsMaizel as I said before, your attitude is fucked up. It is racist.

It would seem then that you weren't the only person concerned and your instincts were correct.

If you see groups again like that then keep walking and don't take your DC to that park alone for now

@MrsMaizel because it's nothing to do with their nationality or race. There are plenty of lovely people here of all nationalities and races. I was asking about the behaviour and whether it was weird or not. Not "are brown people weird and scary" which clearly you would answer yes to that question.

I was going to say something rude and mean about elderly people (you sound as if you are older), but I'll refrain. No point lowering to your level.

Yet you said I think they're immigrants so why raise it then ?

Again how would I answer to "are brown people weird and scary ?" - I would think what on earth does she mean by weird and then "of course not" - all are not , neither are all white people .You are grasping at straws . If it was just men you were moaning about then say men and not immigrant men.

@MrsMaizel, you must be having a laugh. I’ve lived in several foreign lands and like dancingbear do not recognise these racist stereotypes. And as for them going wild because they’ve never seen western women before (and I take by that you mean white women so excluding other women who look like these brown wild men and are born in western countries).

You racist attitude is breathtaking and if you cannot see that, good luck to you. Thankfully the UK is growing in maturity in rejecting this nonsense way of thinking about wild brown men in bushes waiting to pounce on whites women whose beauty they’ve never seen and cannot resist seeking to take them by force.

Totally out of order. Grown men hanging around a play area and calling out like that.

That would make me very uncomfortable.

I can’t think of any culture where men shout after women they don’t know in a friendly/respectful way. I can think of many though where they see a woman as a potential bit of amusement/ up for grabs if she doesn’t have a man with her.

Grown men sitting on swings waiting for kids to pass by? Creepy as fuck.

Avoid that park for a while.

@Skysblue

That would make me very uncomfortable.

I can’t think of any culture where men shout after women they don’t know in a friendly/respectful way. I can think of many though where they see a woman as a potential bit of amusement/ up for grabs if she doesn’t have a man with her.

Grown men sitting on swings waiting for kids to pass by? Creepy as fuck.

Avoid that park for a while.

I think the misunderstanding is that, yes, I agree with you that in some countries this is the case. That's not how it is in Malaysia though. If it was normal behaviour for people to shout at me/DD I wouldn't have been so confused by how to react to it.