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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH says I was unreasonable to let him in

241 replies

PonyPals · 14/07/2021 10:43

I am working from home at the moment and have been receiving deliveries. The delivery guy (have seen him 3 times before) asked to use the toilet when he dropped off a package last week. I let him... DH said I should not have done that but how could I say no.
Well today, the same delivery driver asked if I could give him some biscuits. I was taken aback but ended up giving him a packet. DH thinks I'm a sucker and the delivery driver will become a CF.
But I don't know... AIBU?
I do admit, it was a weird request but then I thought what if he is diabetic and needed to eat but at the same time if you were diabetic surely you would be prepared???

OP posts:
LittleMissPlant · 15/07/2021 17:42

Toilet - fine.

Biscuits - cheeky AF

HerMammy · 15/07/2021 18:08

@PonyPals
All the large courier companies are very strict about drivers not entering a property, part of covid safety training and for personal safety of the driver.
Beyond inappropriate what this guy has done, absolute NO to any other requests.
All large supermarkets have toilets as do McDonalds, petrol stations.

Penistoe · 15/07/2021 18:14

it's basic humanity to allow anohter person to relieve themselves

Not when a strange man is asking a woman who is alone in her home.

I would give the guy biscuits. No way would he be entering my home.

Flossatops · 15/07/2021 18:16

Using the loo is fine but asking for food is just odd and very cheeky. Obviously if he requests anything again, refuse - even to use the loo.

CauliflowerBalti · 15/07/2021 18:22

Delivery drivers work on horrible conditions. He probably does see you as a soft touch but fair enough. Nowhere to use the loo, many give themselves kidney infections not drinking enough to avoid the problem, no time for lunch if traffic is bad. I’d be happy to help. They’ve helped us enough this past 16 months.

FortniteBoysMum · 15/07/2021 18:43

Personally using the toilet(downstairs just inside front door) is fine by me but anything that involves a driver coming through the house is a no. You don't know in this day and age if someone is looking at what's on offer. In regards to the biscuit question a simple sorry I don't have any would be sensible. Sounds like his a cf to me.

Bugbabe1970 · 15/07/2021 18:44

No to both

SherbrookeFosterer · 15/07/2021 19:30

He probably just fancies you.

SunshineCake · 15/07/2021 19:34

@Cooldryplace

If that's how you want to take it. I'm not prepared to live in fear and I choose to think well of everyone until they show me otherwise. Iife is good mainly because of our positive interactions with other people and I'm not going to deny myself that because of what might happen.

Others will choose differently and that's up to them.

By the time they show you otherwise it may well be too late.
Plunger · 15/07/2021 19:43

Be very careful. Wheedling his way into your property by asking for innocent things might lead onto something less innocent. Are you alone in the house when he calls?.

NoMoreBananas · 15/07/2021 19:47

If a delivery driver asked me for biscuits, I'd ask him why?!

Cooldryplace · 15/07/2021 20:04

By the time they show you otherwise it may well be too late. Yes and that's a risk I'm willing to take, just like I take countless other risks in the name of living. Others will choose differently, but that's my choice.

NoMoreBananas · 15/07/2021 20:14

@Cooldryplace

By the time they show you otherwise it may well be too late. Yes and that's a risk I'm willing to take, just like I take countless other risks in the name of living. Others will choose differently, but that's my choice.
Agree!!!
SouthernComforter · 15/07/2021 20:16

Some delivery drivers do very long hours and have a ridiculous number of deliveries to get through every day. I offered a Hermes delivery man a cup of tea in a keep-cup one day (I'd just made myself a cup) and he replied that he didn't have time to drink it or have a wee later (or words to that effect - not in a weird way). I offered him an ice lolly another day and he did take that and thanked me profusely. It's possible that your delivery driver was honestly just caught short and then remembered you as a friendly person? I'd probably be in guard for many more future requests - but a little bit of kindness can really make a shit job that little bit easier.

QuestionableMouse · 15/07/2021 20:21

I don't mind giving delivery people a drink, especially when it's a hot day. Also welcome to use the loo. Biscuit thing is a bit strange, unless he'd forgotten his lunch and was starving! They don't get much free time.

joystir59 · 15/07/2021 20:27

I wouldn't let a delivery man or any other stranger into my home. Unsafe! Reverse the situation- would you ever ask a customer if you could use their loo when on deliveries? Or ask them for biscuits? He is testing your boundaries. He is up to no good.

Youarenothere · 15/07/2021 20:29

Using the loo, not sure how comfortable I’d be letting strange man in to my house if i was alone. Biscuits, it’s a general rule that if people ask me for food I feed them. He could just be cheeky, but I’d say people ask for food when they’re hungry.

SallyWD · 15/07/2021 20:47

Delivery drivers have to work long hours and in difficult conditions. It's well known that they're pushed to their limits, expected to deliver a ridiculous number of parcels a day without proper breaks. I would definitely let him use the toilet. I agree that it was strange to ask for biscuits, but like you, I would have given them to him!

Looubylou · 15/07/2021 20:50

I would agree to loo if he was a very regular. I can see how you were caught on the hop re biscuits too. BUT it be a firm sorry but no from now on. You are obviously very kind though.

Looubylou · 15/07/2021 20:54

"can really make a shit job that little bit easier." 🤣🤣I'd be hoping he just wanted a wee😂

SallyWD · 15/07/2021 21:05

People saying they wouldn't have let him in the house - don't you often let men in your house? Builders, handymen, plumbers, meter readers etc? I don't see the difference. If I was concerned I'd have waited outside.

Blackcat333 · 15/07/2021 21:27

A pizza guy once turned up at my house hours after the delivery saying he had another pizza for me. I explained that he had already been and it was really late, like nearly an hour after the pizza shop closed. He then asked if he could go to the toilet and I said no. I didn't even open the door. After knocking on the door, and carrying on talking, he finally left when I threatened to call the police. I did ring the police but they did not follow it up properly. That bloke was let into another woman's home to use the toilet and he raped her. DO NOT LET ANYONE IN.

RottieMum80 · 15/07/2021 23:19

@Blackcat333

A pizza guy once turned up at my house hours after the delivery saying he had another pizza for me. I explained that he had already been and it was really late, like nearly an hour after the pizza shop closed. He then asked if he could go to the toilet and I said no. I didn't even open the door. After knocking on the door, and carrying on talking, he finally left when I threatened to call the police. I did ring the police but they did not follow it up properly. That bloke was let into another woman's home to use the toilet and he raped her. DO NOT LET ANYONE IN.
Oh my days that’s awful! 😱 To be honest I’d like to offer the loo but I don’t think I would unfortunately, I’d feel too nervous letting a strange man into my home whilst on my own. Too risky. The biscuit thing is just weird. I’d be worried he’s trying to sound you out as to how far her can push you or get away with. Be careful please OP x
unwuthering · 15/07/2021 23:51

@SallyWD

People saying they wouldn't have let him in the house - don't you often let men in your house? Builders, handymen, plumbers, meter readers etc? I don't see the difference. If I was concerned I'd have waited outside.
Oh, that's a good idea! Wait outside so he can have a good rummage through your medicine cabinet and/or jewelry box...
SingingInTheShithouse · 15/07/2021 23:55

Yeah, your DH is right, you're a sucker

The delivery guy is a CF & Covid isn't over yet, so is likely breaching Covid safety rules of his employer