To take a much younger lover?

[MadamePalm]

Early 40s. Separated but not yet divorced. Two young DC.

I have absolutely no interest in another serious relationship at the moment. The thought of another man coming in and breaking my heart like ex DH did absolutely horrified me. However I do miss male company (and sex)

I have a young man (basically half my age) showing very strong interest in me. He's gorgeous, sweet, sexy and already ridiculously successful for someone so young. I'm really tempted to throw caution to the wind and have some fun. However all my friends are telling me to find someone closer to my own age. I've dated a few guys in their 40s recently and they've just done nothing for me.

Am I a terrible old perve? Should I just go for it? I feel so conflicted!

If you dont want anything ‘serious’
Then why are you thinking about ‘How successful he is?’

I think an age gap where you could have given birth to that person is a bit weird.

Part of me says it’s nobody else’s business but the two of you.

The other part of me is a bit sickened at the thought of a 40-something bloke going after a 20yo girl.

Sorry but this is so gross. I think a man of your age would be getting far worse responses if he was trying to sleep with a 23 y/o female.

Don’t do it. It’s bloody sleazy OP. Urrghhh

Oh you should do it just so you can use the words "I have taken a younger lover" in regular conversation!

@Rudeppl

Sorry but this is so gross. I think a man of your age would be getting far worse responses if he was trying to sleep with a 23 y/o female.

Agree with that

This thread is too funny. I tried OLD for about a month and all the full-on flirty guys were in their 20s (the 40 somethings were more circumspect) some were quite hot too. Wouldn't have touched any of them with a 10 foot barge pole. Too creepy, but I think that's how young guys are nowadays.

And the person who mentioned Macron as a positive example? Yikes! that's a super weird backstory

Where you are in life is more important than age in my opinion. If you are both looking for no strings attached fun, go for it. If you are looking for fun and he is looking for a committed relationship however, it wouldn't be right to get involved.

I notice your kids are young.

I think if they are boys, once they start looking like grown men, what you're suggesting becomes more difficult to stomach. I couldn't do it.

It's completely up to you what you do. Age gaps can be no problem at all.

If I were you I would consider the deeper things that such a big age gap means. At 23 someone isn't anywhere near as emotionally mature as someone your age. He hasn't had as much experience and won't be on the same level as you. It can mean he's left a lot more vulnerable. I was 20 and had an older partner and looking back I wasn't ready for him. He knew more things about life and relationships than me and I wasn't mature enough to handle them. He could end up really hurt if you're not careful.

Very common for guys in their 20s to fancy attractive woen in their 40s - they see them as sophisticated, experienced and much more confident sexually than women in their early 20s.

Also he'd be weary that a 20-something is after him due to him earning a lot, whereas Op is genuinely just attarcted to him , Plus shared humour and he's admiring her for raising kids.

Nothing unusual - for an infatuation or a fling. And sometimes does become a relationship, albeit a small minority that would last - but that's not what Op is after anyway. I always had 'chemistry vines' from guys in their 20s - when in my 30s and 40s. It's a thing.

chemistry vibes, I mean!

Enjoy yourself, I say. Was 27 when I started seeing my late partner and he was 47. It was a great relationship and lasted 15 years. Age is a number!

Go for it, have some fun when you get the chance.

@chickenyhead

Sure they do indeed

Not sure why you’re giving OP such a hard time, I was at a wedding this event and some of my friends in the early 40s do look like they’re in their early 30s, it’s not uncommon.

@EccentricaGalumbits

I notice your kids are young.

I think if they are boys, once they start looking like grown men, what you're suggesting becomes more difficult to stomach. I couldn't do it.

This doesn’t make sense, why are grown men difficult to stomach?

I think it’s that once your own kids begin to look like grown men, the idea of sleeping with someone so young (akin to them) becomes difficult to stomach.

This doesn’t make sense, why are grown men difficult to stomach?

Sex with grown men of a similar age to my own children is difficult to stomach. Is it really that hard to comprehend?

[quote MadamePalm]@chickenyhead Well given most people think I'm in my early 30s at most I'm sure I'll be fine. Thanks for your concern though[/quote]
Where do you live that people in their early 40s look much different from people in their early 30s? The 16th century?
Maybe it is your life experience that makes people think you are younger?

Go for it, op

YABVVVU to use the word lover. Makes my teeth itch

@MartyHart

YABVVVU to use the word lover. Makes my teeth itch

I feel rhe same about makes my teeth itch. How does it feel when your teeth itch?! Hate that stupid expression.

Lover? Fuck buddy? What is she supposed to call him if he is not her boyfriend?

Dictionary definition of lover: "a partner in a sexual or romantic relationship outside marriage"

He is her lover.