to not want to let DD (7) go in the sea alone?

[Thefifthbeatle]

We are on holiday. DH is letting DD1 (7, able to swim) go into the sea alone "but only up to her waist". He says that he is sitting halfway up the beach with DD2 but that he is watching DD1 all the time. He estimates that he could get to DD1 in 20 seconds. I think that this is too long if a child is in difficulty in the sea, and therefore dangerous. I only want her to go in the sea with an adult. He thinks I am being ridiculous. I'd be really grateful for a sanity check! Thanks in advance.

No, no, no, no. Not on holiday where you won't know the currents and beaches at the very least.

My DD is 9 and a competent swimmer and I won't let her go in the sea alone

It's irrelevant how strong a swimmer she is. A strong seven year old swimmer is no match for the sea

This. 20 seconds is far too long - an adult swimmer needs to be with her or REALLY close by.

Conditions are relevant, but I wouldn't take a chance with this.

I always veered on the side of letting DC take a chance but within a manageable situation

Same, generally, but the sea is different. A small mistake can turn catastrophic really fast.

Many kids who grow up near the sea tend to be more cautious than those who don't.

Many kids who grow up near the sea tend to be more cautious than those who don't

...I typed too quickly. I don't really mean cautious, I mean aware of the myriad risks and more likely to err on the side of being safety-first when it comes to being in or around the sea.

For example, in Weymouth harbour where there is barely any current or disenable waves, I would have let DS stand waist deep, a few metres from an adult at 7.

Would you? My parents had a friend who drowned in Weymouth Harbour. We used to go down and swum pretty much daily in the summer, but there were times when it was too rough - it'sdefinitelynot always wave-free. Weymouth may be safer than quite a lot of UK beaches, but I wouldn't let a 7yo in alone - no beach is completely safe, and things can go wrong very quickly. Complacency can kill.

I've trodden on a weever fish before, too. Bloody hurts, that does, and for a long time after.

@EBearhug I didn't say alone, I said with an adult a few metres away as opposed to at literal arms length. Obviously only counting when the surface is like glass. I've never seen it rough down by the clocktower along the harbour wall, but I don't disbelieve you that it could be. I think it breaks a bit higher up towards Bowleaze. We live in the area so I do know it well. DS sails the SW circuit so we're at one or another of the bays and harbours round the coast most weekends.

DS has always worn wetsuit boots in the sea because of the weever fish- we all do.

Believe me, I am the least complacent person about the sea.

Where are you in all this? of course he cannot keep an eye on her whilst looking after another. The sea can be dangerous. madness

for context my local swimming pool does not allow under 8's in without an adult

Absolutely not. I got dragged into the see at 15 years old and nearly drowned in Spain. I had ot been up to just passed my waist at first.
I saw a group of kids at our local beach yesterday in swimming up. I was absolutely shitting myself. Parents were away up at the top of the beach and I was with ds7 and baby dd strapped to me, so there wouldn't have been much I could do.

I live by a lake and work by the sea, lots of friends are in the RNLI. We work in a really popular tourist spot. A few years ago all the lifeboat crews across a long stretch of our coastline were called out for a little boy that got swept out, in good conditions, parents were tourists, he was a good enough swimmer in the pool.

He died.

All the lifeboat crews were devastated.

Ds is 5 and can’t swim yet. There’s no way he’d be allowed anything past ankle deep in the sea without me/a dedicated adult. Even one adult to two children is too little if you’re waist deep IMO.

Is it a lifeguarded beach? If so it might be worth asking the lifeguards for advice. They are usually really helpful.

I’m in Cornwall. Some beaches here are an absolute no no even as a grown up lone swimmer.

God, no, would never let that happen. I remember the terror that spoiled days at the beach for me when my children were young. They are 17 and 20 now and very good swimmers (I made sure they had swimming lessons from a very early age).

... probably more ultra vigilance that meant I could never relax, rather than actual terror. But your post brought those feelings back, OP.

You’re not being unreasonable. Does he know children usually drown silently. Unlike adults they tend not to shout and yell and wave their arms about. They often just disappear.

This

Competent swimmer in a swimming pool is not the same as in the sea. The sea can change very quickly and they can be dragged.

We always have an adult in wetsuit/swimmers by the water, in lifeguarded zones area of beach. Both DC are reasonable swimmers, the oldest one better. But it still scares me rigid. Luckily where we go there's a HUGE rockpool which the younger one is very happy to sploosh and swim in and float about with her bodyboard more than going in the sea so we have one adult with her and one with the older one by the waves.

Any valuables are on us in waterproof carry pods.

@SmidgenofaPigeon off you jog. If I want to ask for a response from OP, that's my choice. It's not being over invested. It's thinking ahead to the next time the DH and kids go to the beach. Don't tell me what I can say or not.

I went to our local beach today (lunchtime and yes I know - I'm lucky!!) and made a point of watching families and their interaction with the water. I was amazed at how many primary age kids were sent off down the beach all alone. Quite apart from anything I kept thinking- but it's FUN to be with your child at the beach. Why take such a weird back seat?

Waist deep is pretty deep for the sea, where waves can come and shift you and take you out of your depth pretty easily. I wouldn’t be happy with this.

Waist deep is pretty deep for the sea, where waves can come and shift you and take you out of your depth pretty easily. I wouldn’t be happy with this

Agree. Waist deep is too deep. I've been in very strong currents where walking with the water around mid thigh feels challenging.

7 years old???

When body boarding in Cornwall, we still go in with our boys and they're 11 and 13. However my brother's friend and dad both drowned together when they were swept away by a rip tide so I admit we're much more cautious than others may be.

Depends on the beach tbh.