XDH won't help support DD now she's 18

[AbsolutelySure]

We're divorced but amicable. We had a court order for him to pay maintenance until she leaves secondary education. I thought this would be August when she receives her A level results and child benefit stops but he checked with her school and they said she was no longer on the register from June so he stopped paying. I didn't argue the toss but asked if he could help me support her financially until she goes to Uni or would he consider either giving her the money direct or help by going 50/50 on getting her set up at Uni. He said no. I'm disappointed for her that he's acted this way. DD has not got a job because I wanted her to focus on her studies. She's applied for jobs since leaving school but has so far been unsuccessful.

@AbsolutelySure

The friction (and that's putting it mildly) would be massive, he'd be incandescent with absolute rage! Could CMS come back with a lower figure than what their calculation suggest? I doubt I could go down this route. I've mentioned his lack of moral standards, this wouldn't sit well within my moral standards.

Why do you think it’s immoral to use CMS? They are a government agency who will calculate the child support due from your ex H ‘s tax returns.

I understand that CMS doesn’t work for many children as their father is paid cash in hand or self employed. But I’ve never heard anyone say it’s immoral .

CMS is actually the LEGAL MINIMUM.

We're the maintenance payments not index linked to account for inflation, has he just had promotion after promotion or did you did take a low point at the time to reduce conflict?

If his salary has notably increased since the settlement then it should have been changed as that settlement was on his circumstances at that moment in time.

He doesn't care about his DC anyway so what have you got to lose?

@C0RINNA I didn't mean it was immoral to go through CMS , I meant that we agreed a figure four years ago and I it doesn't sit right with me to overrule that agreement we had by now going to CMS to gain more for DD2.

@RandomMess it was agreed based on a slightly less income, probably around £10-£15k pa. he was paying much more than other people I know were getting from their XDH so I was happy with the amount. I still am happy with the sum he pays for DD2, I just wanted him to step up and be there for DD1 to help get her started at Uni and if she needed it in the future.

4 years isn't long in the scheme of things.

I agree it's horrid of him to have zero pride in DD going off to uni and to not want to actually support her

I think I would have to send a comment about how surprised you are that he wants to be as unsupportive as his parents were to him when he had such a chip on his shoulder about it.

Yeh that's what galls me about my x. He knows my job is "shit" and he has no way of knowing that she can still go to university without the maintenance and yet he stops paying 🤔
He cannot pat himself on the back for any success she achieves

[quote AbsolutelySure]@C0RINNA I didn't mean it was immoral to go through CMS , I meant that we agreed a figure four years ago and I it doesn't sit right with me to overrule that agreement we had by now going to CMS to gain more for DD2.

@RandomMess it was agreed based on a slightly less income, probably around £10-£15k pa. he was paying much more than other people I know were getting from their XDH so I was happy with the amount. I still am happy with the sum he pays for DD2, I just wanted him to step up and be there for DD1 to help get her started at Uni and if she needed it in the future. [/quote]
So you agreed a figure less than the legal minimum on behalf of your children. Now your ex has failed in his moral duty ( legal in some countries ) to support his older child until she finishes her full time education.

Yet you are clinging to some imaginary moral high ground which involves saving your exs money and depriving your younger daughter of money that she is due ? Im afraid I’m struggling to understand your morality.

Are you trying to keep on his good side in the hope that you will get back together ? Otherwise why would you put him before your child ?

Your dd can go to court to enforce maintenance for herself. He is obliged to support her while she is in full time education. I think it’s schedule 1 to children’s act in England. Get a solicitor who specializes to assist.