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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’ve just turned off the router and gone back to bed.

405 replies

Shuffleuplove · 10/07/2021 10:17

3 tween boys, idle but cute. Single mum. Their attitude towards me is increasingly disrespectful and rude. I’m sick of constant bargaining and shouting from them, and my picking up after them. I normally am on the permissive end of authoritative but I’ve had enough of talking and reasoning.

Hand hold?

OP posts:
SpringCrocus · 15/07/2021 02:18

Bloody hell. Stay strong. Get the router back, or, change the password, and get a replacement?
Eitherway,
Totally not acceptable behavior

Cookofcastamar · 15/07/2021 02:28

@Shuffleuplove

The alliance was rejected. Youngest has got dressed and taken the dog out.

Middle is still giving it Boutrous Boutros Gali. “You make my lunch, and I won’t scream as much.”

Eldest is doing tagliatelle.

I’ve spoken quietly to all 3 and they’ve all admitted they have been pushing it.

@Shuffleuplove this is hilarious! I haven't heard of boutrous boutrous ghali since I was a child in the nineties. I had to google his name as it sounded familiar. Hope the boys are looking after you and following your rules!
pointythings · 15/07/2021 07:37

That is really shit of them. Definitely time to up the ante, consequences needed. If you're near me (Suffolk) I have a spare BT router you could have.

Soubriquet · 15/07/2021 07:41

I like the idea of changing the password on the router

Will make it more delicious to see you using it and they can’t

averylongtimeago · 15/07/2021 08:15

How long are they away? Can you get another router and install it with an unbreakable password?

I'm not very technically minded, but it would be even better if when they tried the old router, it no longer worked.

RandomMess · 15/07/2021 08:35

Just want to send you Thanks sometimes being a parent is so shit even when lots of good humour is thrown in.

sashh · 15/07/2021 08:44

I don't turn anything off.

I walk in, take device / switch off TV, and tell them what I need.

Slight contradiction there.

My mum and my best friend's Mum both used to threaten boarding school even thought neither could afford it, but we didn't know that at the time.

My mum would threaten this too, I really wanted to go.

OP

Come back, we need to know the next installment.

Also I think your home would make a great reality TV show.

ny20005 · 15/07/2021 09:15

Oh op, I laughed at the update but I genuinely don't know what you should do

If you go over all guns blazing, you'll react the way they want you to

On the other hand, if you ignore it & pretend you haven't noticed, you're letting it go unpunished

Can you get a replacement router & change the password ?

I think I agree with other poster who said minimal mum duties now. No treats, they do their own washing etc

Will be thinking of you

Twinsmum2003 · 15/07/2021 09:45

@Shuffleuplove

Well, shit just got real here.

The kids have gone to their Dads till Sunday. So i plopped down in Mum’s Chair to watch some geeky stuff on the telly (bbc iplayer history is my favourite bit) and noticed that nothing was happening. The router had been briefly reinstated for our house guest who was WFH and I went to check it and it has GONE.

Not down the side of the dryer, not in the dog’s basket, not in the freezer or the airing cupboard, not behind the veg in the fridge.

They’ve taken it with them, to Daddy’s. He lives an hour away. Angry

Okay I must be an awful parent because I think this is hilarious and if my children did it I would think it was hilarious! I mean I would be miffed that I couldn’t watch Netflix but I would also think it’s inspired! I guess it would depend on your kids attitude in doing it. Was it a funny prank because they knew it would make you laugh? Was it protecting their asset so you couldn’t remove it again before they got back? Or was it a f*ck you? I know my kids would probably have been somewhere between the first two but either way I would applaud the ingenuity.
Original poster
Shuffleuplove · 15/07/2021 10:16

Found it. Investigations and some coercion led eldest to grass up the youngest, who is the culprit. It was hidden in the kitchen in plain sight as it happens. Apparently it was to stop me sending it to grandmas, which is what I had to do with the x box one time.

OP posts:
pointythings · 15/07/2021 11:02

OK, so this is where you take total control of the password. Get really good at changing it so that you can do it whenever it is necessary. They won't be getting it for some time, will they?

JingsMahBucket · 15/07/2021 11:08

It seems like your eldest is getting the larger picture but your younger two are still rebelling. Maybe thank him for being helpful and listen to him about any particular issues the kids may be facing?

FunMcCool · 15/07/2021 11:41

As a mum of young boys this thread scares me

sashh · 15/07/2021 11:52

@FunMcCool just imagine where tech will be when they are teenagers, they might be begging for implants so they can be totally immersed in their games.

Bollindger · 15/07/2021 12:36

So change the passwords.
Lock all their devices off the internet, and leave the internet ON...
Rewards of time for good behaviour.

justasking111 · 15/07/2021 12:40

I love the fact that you're raising clever little buggers 😅😅

You rock mama

ny20005 · 15/07/2021 12:42

You need to look at other forms of WiFi control other than the router

Not sure who your provider is but Sky have app that allow child / device specific rules

Looks like eldest might need more wifi than his brothers

Original poster
Shuffleuplove · 15/07/2021 12:59

I’m on Virgin and you can isolate device by device but I wanted it gone. When they get home I’ll reinstate it with new passwords. But not immediately. I think they need at least another week of cold Turkey as they will have WiFi’d to the teeth at their Dads.

OP posts:
CraftyYankee · 15/07/2021 13:15

Strategic alliance with the eldest? Divide and conquer 😁

pointythings · 15/07/2021 13:57

Device by device will be the way to go, and ensure that they do not have access rights to lock YOU out of the WiFi...

RandomMess · 15/07/2021 14:12

Is there any chance they would prefer to live with Dad due to lack of devices?

Would your ex actually want them full time?

Just get ready for the threats from them!

MintyCedric · 15/07/2021 14:12

You are doing an awesome job!

I like the divide and conquer idea from @CraftyYankee

ReginaaPhalange · 15/07/2021 14:31

Sorry but I laughed at your update! You're raising little geniuses lol!

On a serious note, change the WiFi password and block their devices from it!

DdraigGoch · 15/07/2021 14:42

@RandomMess

Is there any chance they would prefer to live with Dad due to lack of devices?

Would your ex actually want them full time?

Just get ready for the threats from them!

OP said that her ex won't have them.
Pashazade · 15/07/2021 18:25

Any chance you can store the router in a padlocked cupboard (with a key, that you keep on a necklace!)? Just to stop future removals.....makes it easier than hiding it and you can still use it whenever you choose then. 😁