I’ve just turned off the router and gone back to bed.

[Shuffleuplove]

3 tween boys, idle but cute. Single mum. Their attitude towards me is increasingly disrespectful and rude. I’m sick of constant bargaining and shouting from them, and my picking up after them. I normally am on the permissive end of authoritative but I’ve had enough of talking and reasoning.

Hand hold?

Not able to contribute (hell, I dont even have kids). But just had to say this thread is a magnificent and compelling read. Impressive, instructive and totally hilarious. Outstanding.

(Just please dont take MY router away as I am checking for updates with some urgency.)

Well done Op ! I feel your pain ! My youngest teen is hard work but also a character & very quick witted. His year head struggles not to laugh at some of his antics

I've taken Xbox controllers to work with me as if he thought they were in the house, he'd have wreaked havoc looking for them

I have sky app & control every device. They get told what needs to be done & if not done, WiFi goes off

OP stay strong. You have so many of us behind you x

Pre match update: the kids aren’t really into football but they sense a weakness in the force. One is begging to log him on to his Maths App. Big big chinny reckon.

good for you.

i've often taken the remote controls into work.
or i'll hide them in the house and let them know where they are at a later date/time/decade.

kids can be so mean and hurtful. and then they move out!!

@shedofdread

The boys, their future friends, employers and life partners will thank you one day.

shedofdred

Well said.

I am just LOVING your posts @Shuffleuplove. You write brilliantly

[quote Sugarplumfairy65]@ThePluckOfTheCoward

Threatening to send them to boarding school or a children's home might work, as well as telling the middle one that his father doesn't want him living with him because of his behaviour. I am very, very evil though. 👿

Please don't threaten to send a child to a children's home. It's a vile thing to say to any child.
Children are not in children's homes due to bad behavior.[/quote]
I had to reply to this, even though it's a bit late

I lived in various children's home as a child, through absolutely no fault of mine. I remember queuing for the ice cream van in our street and neighbours pointing me out to their children, saying "if you don't behave I will send to live in the naughty home with those children". The feeling of shame I felt then, I still feel now - even though I was there through the behaviour of my parents.

OP, you are doing (hopefully still doing, I am only up to page 2 ) an amazing job!

I have been where you are. My oldest (23) told me that he now appreciates the boundaries that we set for him because he rarely had to guess what was appropriate behavior. Stick to your guns, Mama!

I remove the TV from mine

DC once declared ‘you’ve stolen my soul’

It's amazing how much cleaning they can do when bored absolutely shitless..

Fantastic thread - here for the hilarious updates

I hope you’re all having a great time watching the football together!

When my kids were small they could recite my mantra. "I tell you once. I tell you twice. The third time you will have a smack."
They didn't often have a smack because they knew it would happen. No rage or loss of control. Just a fact.
Older children - suggest you sit down at the table with a sheet for each child stating what you see are the problems (disrespect, lack of help etc) and what you expect as reasonable behaviour. Use of spoon to facilitate discussion. Then explain that infringement of your standards will result in consequences (no need to elaborate). And mean it. No rage. No anger. Just fact. And have a secret place where you can bash the wall with your head then come out smiling.

You are my "Sheroe". I wish I had your courage when my DD1 and DD2 were teens.

I'm with you, OP. I sometimes take the router with me to bed😂😂!!

@whynotwhatknot

My parents used to take the landline with them so i bought a cheap one and plugged it in

was a shame when bt invented a code for blocking all outgoing calls

bastads

OH GOD! I had totally forgotten about the sheer impotent rage when I discovered my mum had deployed this tactic

Middle one is properly crackers

He sounds like my youngest. He's 23 now but when he was 11/12 he had an imaginary pet duck called Lord Quackersworth!

@Shuffleuplove

There’s lots of door slamming and “this is all your fault”.

I've not read the whole thread so apologies if someone had already said this but....

If they're slamming doors is take their bedroom doors off the hinges until they could learn to behave properly.

When my son's were at school (now 25 & 32) I did the WiFi router trick, I also went to work with the card out of the sky box, phone chargers and power cables for their computers and games consoles in my car. The behaviour got a bit more stripy for a few days but soon improved when they realised I wasn't going to take any Crail from them!

Stroppy not stripy 😊

I empathise with you totally OP. Stay strong. I have DS13 and DS11 and I've made a rod for my own back, they do nothing and would spend 24/7 on PC, ps5 or YouTube. I'm wfh and it's another summer of them constantly in the house. I asked the eldest to empty the dishwasher and spin washing whilst I was in a meeting. Did neither, he thought I was joking. We're just back from a few days staycation, where they whinged, complained and refused to get out of the car cause everything was boring.
I am trying to turn it around before I send two young men out into the world, like their father. MIL did everything for her 'boys'. Nothing to be proud of.

I dont mess with the router, i just hide the devices! I did it for a whole day yesterday. If u refuse to go to sleep til 11pm midweek for no reason then i will have to put up with the grouch the next day who will still get up at 6am!

@Shuffleuplove

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻!! Your boys, though they definitely aren't now, will thank you one day for your strength and perseverance - as will their partners if they're lucky enough to have them.

Also LOVE this!
"Previously they did 3/5ths of bugger all."

You have a gift for storytelling, OP.

This 🤗 and 🌹 for you.

@CustardySergeant

Isn't the router switched on and off by pressing a button at the back? What's to stop them putting it back on themselves?

Op had hidden the router. Still reading so sorry if already mentioned.

Mine are 16 and 17 now and it doesn't seem to have got any easier. Dont really have any advice actually.