I’ve been following your thread OP (also a middle child, not unlike yours at that age).
If you’re sure they’ve taken the router with them, they’ve upped the ante considerably. They’ve laughed at your punishment and handed it right back at you (quite pathetically, has to be said).
You have until Sunday to establish for sure that they took it, and to figure out next steps. They’re demonstrating:
- a brazen disregard for your authority
- total disrespect of you as the responsible adult in their lives
- a lack of understanding of the role you play in their lives.
They want to treat you as their equal? Let them knock themselves out. It’s the holidays soon. Buy the basics of food to keep them nourished and healthy but no more, and do nothing else for them. No wifi. No laundry. No cooking. No cleaning. No ferrying to places. A list of chores which have to be completed otherwise extra time will be added to the no wifi after the holidays end (oh the shame when September rolls round and they’re back at school). Send them to run errands. Make them build a garden shed (or something) from scratch.
Also, time for some home truths. Hard facts that are age appropriate, so that they understand what you’re trying to teach them.
This isn’t done through anger, but as a consequence of their own choices.
And treat them separately. Let them prove themselves at their own paces. One of them had the idea, the other two went along with it. It shouldn’t be an equal punishment.
A summer without wifi is a huge opportunity. I always, always aim for natural consequences to be learning experiences by the back door (note aim for!). In having their time at your house being wifi-free for 5-6 weeks, doing chores, entertaining themselves, doing other stuff, they will learn useful things despite themselves. Obviously they’ll gorge on wifi at ex’s house, but your DC sound like smart kids. They may or may not admit it, but they’ll know what’s best for them.