Treated like a maid in this house, so I've booked a cleaner!

[butterflies218]

I have endometriosis, which is currently crippling me (been bleeding non stop for 19 days now)

So DH has gone camping for the weekend with friends (he's not the issue, he works 7 day weeks running his own business) on the occasion he takes a day off (rare) he will absolutely do his own laundry, my laundry, gardening etc when I haven't managed to do it because of pain.

The problem is his sister who lives with us! They moved in 3 years ago, his Mum basically kicked her and her boyfriend out as she wanted extra space (don't get me started on MIL).

I work 12 hour days, as does DH then he does his admin and paperwork when he gets home.

He works 9-5 from home, she is furloughed, NOTHING gets done, we've had numerous talks, they don't even empty a clean dishwasher, they leave their shit stacked up on my kitchen sides, their laundry by the washing machine, play Xbox in their room, never ever have picked up the hoover since they've lived here.

We agreed they move in for a year (3 years ago!) they saved to go travelling and went travelling for a year, the first year they were great, then came back to save again to go back travelling and covid hit. No travelling. So they've been in the house 24/7. They are moving out next month (thank the lord).

I got home tonight, DH away, they'd left to go visit his parents for a week 4 hours away, my house was a tip! I've been a mess all week with pain, bleeding, new medication etc. They left their pans with burnt super noodles in the bottom on the kitchen side, plates stacked up (I emptied the dishwasher last night ), no water in the dog bowl, shit stains in my toilet, piled the recycling so high it's ripped over.

I lost my shit, called my husband, told him I was booking a cleaner for tomorrow as I'm in too much pain to lug the hoover about and clean and I sent a message to our group chat telling them they will be picking up the £70 bill. This is fair to me seeing as neither myself or DH leave dirty plates on side/don't clean our shit stains off toilet/don't leave our room an absolute dive/spilled orange pasta sauce from lunch on the cream sofa cushions.

They've read and not responded. They pay us £200 each a month rent. Food, sky, laundry products included and I feel like they've just taken the piss out of us since covid hit.

I've had an arsey text from MIL "I think booking a cleaner is unreasonable and to then charge them for it, it's very petty" sorry? I work my arse off, as does DH and I clean every weekend and do our laundry, this weekend I cannot as I am in awful pain.

Please tell me AIBU? I'm so sick of this all, the sooner they go the better!!!!!

I’m sorry but I would just chuck them out. You sound very patient!!

Perhaps mother in law would like to take them back then, since she's so outraged at your "unreasonable" behaviour.

Thank goodness they are going - and make sure they do. It is totally wrong that, when you are working so hard and having significant health issues, you have to put up with this disgustingly selfish, ungrateful and disrespectful behaviour. I feel angry for you. Don't ever allow them to stay again.

YANBU Get the flags out when they're gone! Hope you feel better soon(former sufferer)

Blimey 😳 Give them a weeks notice and keep the cleaner.

I was also going to say take pictures make sure its gor a date stamp and send it to the group with THIS IS NOT HOW EXPECT MY HOUSE TO LOOK, IT WAS NOT LEFT THIS WAY. £70 is a bargain for scruffy gits the toilet alone would have topped me over the edge....its disgusting!i mean who do they think will clean it.

I have a 10 year old who cleans their own mess in the toilet up!

Enough is enough. Time to kick them out pronto. Biggest CF’s around. Don’t know how you’ve put up with it for so long.

@AlCalavicci

I dont blame you for booking a cleaner at all , getting them to pay for it , hmm I am not so sure they already pay £400 a month rent to you which seems quite high to me but my rent is very low so I may have the wrong perspective . Hindsight is a wonderful thing , but you should of told them right at the start of them staying with you / starting to leave a mess that you were not happy and you would raise the rent in order to pay for a cleaner if they didn't sort themselves out.

Are you joking? £50 pw each for all they get. Not a chance they'd get anywhere else for double that. They are not her responsibility and she's not running a hotel. A pair of self entitled brats and I'd have put them out after their travels.

Where do you live that you can book a cleaner for the next day? I’d love if that service was available here. I’d be lucky to get one this week.

photos and send to group chat!!! shame the fuckers!!

cannot believe it!! awful awful :(

Pack their stuff put it out on the pavement and change the locks - they are so far beyond just taking the piss

Hi Op,

I don't usually post, but whenever I see endo mentioned in general, I stick my oar in because the right info is so important (and women don't tend to receive it from their docs, unfortunately). The gold standard for endo treatment should be one surgery done correctly (via expert excision) as opposed to multiple bad surgeries (using ablation - - burning the lesions as opposed to removing them at the root). Gynaes are under trained in endo treatment, so we need endo specialists instead (they can recognise even superficial lesions, which can cause much of the pain, and they use excision). Finding out the correct surgery method was a godsend for my endo. Multiple surgeries using ablation can leave women in chronic pain and impact their fertility. I recommend looking up excision and Nancy's Nook website and Facebook group. They have lists of surgeons there too. Good luck! Xxx

If your mother in law wants to be involved then send her pictures.

They are taking the P. Time to evict the freeloaders. £400 a month wouldn’t get them a shack never mind all inclusive.

I dont think 400 unresabell I oay 125 a week for a studio in freinds house Bill's included but not food and I pay my freind 20 a week to do a but off cleaning as I work long hours in care .
Their paying for accommodation not a hotal with cleaning and laundry facilities .
But awkward as family so you may have to back down to keep the peace but I dont think your being unfair.

If MIL thinks it's unreasonable she can have them when they come back from his parents.. CF's the lot of them!!

When they leave tell them and your DH that under no circumstances are they ever coming back under your roof. Your DH should have laid the law down to them long before now. You’re not well and you need support - he needs to know this and step up.

Tell them all to fuck off should solve your problem

They may contribute a total of £400 a month but the whole of the household costs an awful lot more than that and you/your husband can't/don't sit back waiting for someone else to do the washing/cleaning etc, so why do these CF's think they can?

Even if they only come back for 2 days before moving out, they need to not only pay for the cleaner (I'd charge them a damn sight more than £70) but they need to pull their weight. Then, once they leave, I'd change the locks (add the charge onto the cleaning bill) and not have them back!

Oh yes, I'd also tell your mil to keep her beak out and suggest she had them living back with her!

£400 a month all in?! Blow me, you’re being taken for an absolute mug! Minimum round here is £800 for a tiny one bed house in a poor area, bills not included! Their massive puss takers and your mil is enabling them. It’s nothing to do with her what you do.

You are a better woman than me, after a month they would have been out the door.

YANBU. Take care of yourself.

@Endosurvivor

Hi Op,

I don't usually post, but whenever I see endo mentioned in general, I stick my oar in because the right info is so important (and women don't tend to receive it from their docs, unfortunately). The gold standard for endo treatment should be one surgery done correctly (via expert excision) as opposed to multiple bad surgeries (using ablation - - burning the lesions as opposed to removing them at the root). Gynaes are under trained in endo treatment, so we need endo specialists instead (they can recognise even superficial lesions, which can cause much of the pain, and they use excision). Finding out the correct surgery method was a godsend for my endo. Multiple surgeries using ablation can leave women in chronic pain and impact their fertility. I recommend looking up excision and Nancy's Nook website and Facebook group. They have lists of surgeons there too. Good luck! Xxx

@butterflies218 - just wanted to make sure you didn't miss this in among the rest of the messages. :)

The curse of our times.
Selfish, freeloading , mean, lazy, dirty relatives and their hanger-ons.
They come to stay, clutter up the place, treat you as skivvies and if you ask them when they should leave come up with stuff like, 'we are family, you owe it to us'.

Badly brought up, selfish and preying on your good nature. Tell them they need to leave soon, so they will also need make arrangements to store their possessions elsewhere, and they should then sod off travelling. Grown ups really need to learn to be independant.
I once asked an uncle and aunt to put me up for six months as I was moving house, but I said that I could make other arrangements by lodging elsewhere, but I would pay for my keep and be out most of the time as I was working and would also be away some weekends. My stuff went into paid storage. I kept to that exactly, as I understood that it would be an imposition staying even in a home with close family as it disturbed their dynamic and routines.
We always remained on the best of terms.

I doubt mother in late threw them out for Space reasons- that was so you wouldn’t be put off taking them in😂 you are not unreasonable if it was me they would be long gone already!!!