Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Treated like a maid in this house, so I've booked a cleaner!

242 replies

butterflies218 · 10/07/2021 01:30

I have endometriosis, which is currently crippling me (been bleeding non stop for 19 days now)

So DH has gone camping for the weekend with friends (he's not the issue, he works 7 day weeks running his own business) on the occasion he takes a day off (rare) he will absolutely do his own laundry, my laundry, gardening etc when I haven't managed to do it because of pain.

The problem is his sister who lives with us! They moved in 3 years ago, his Mum basically kicked her and her boyfriend out as she wanted extra space (don't get me started on MIL).

I work 12 hour days, as does DH then he does his admin and paperwork when he gets home.

He works 9-5 from home, she is furloughed, NOTHING gets done, we've had numerous talks, they don't even empty a clean dishwasher, they leave their shit stacked up on my kitchen sides, their laundry by the washing machine, play Xbox in their room, never ever have picked up the hoover since they've lived here.

We agreed they move in for a year (3 years ago!) they saved to go travelling and went travelling for a year, the first year they were great, then came back to save again to go back travelling and covid hit. No travelling. So they've been in the house 24/7. They are moving out next month (thank the lord).

I got home tonight, DH away, they'd left to go visit his parents for a week 4 hours away, my house was a tip! I've been a mess all week with pain, bleeding, new medication etc. They left their pans with burnt super noodles in the bottom on the kitchen side, plates stacked up (I emptied the dishwasher last night Hmm), no water in the dog bowl, shit stains in my toilet, piled the recycling so high it's ripped over.

I lost my shit, called my husband, told him I was booking a cleaner for tomorrow as I'm in too much pain to lug the hoover about and clean and I sent a message to our group chat telling them they will be picking up the £70 bill. This is fair to me seeing as neither myself or DH leave dirty plates on side/don't clean our shit stains off toilet/don't leave our room an absolute dive/spilled orange pasta sauce from lunch on the cream sofa cushions.

They've read and not responded. They pay us £200 each a month rent. Food, sky, laundry products included and I feel like they've just taken the piss out of us since covid hit.

I've had an arsey text from MIL "I think booking a cleaner is unreasonable and to then charge them for it, it's very petty" sorry? I work my arse off, as does DH and I clean every weekend and do our laundry, this weekend I cannot as I am in awful pain.

Please tell me AIBU? I'm so sick of this all, the sooner they go the better!!!!!

OP posts:
Lanique · 10/07/2021 06:49

Endometriosis or not, YANBU. No one should tolerate this shit.

Shoxfordian · 10/07/2021 06:49

Tell them to leave today, not next month

And don’t be such a mug in future

Saltyslug · 10/07/2021 06:51

Or just text ‘I’ve been working 12 hour days and DH is away, its perfectly reasonable to expect sis and partner to be keep the house reasonably tidy in our absence’

Billybagpuss · 10/07/2021 06:51

I’m confused, have you actually been doing their laundry? The first time they left it by the machine I’d have instructed them how to use it and advised that if it were left there you would assume it was rubbish and throw it away.

MinniesAndMickeysNeedCounting · 10/07/2021 06:57

I wouldn't suck it up because they're leaving, they were only meant to stay a year and it's been 3, what's the chances they'll leave of there own accord.
I wouldn't be including mil in the discussion. I'd tell her it's none of her business and leave it at that.
Time to get rid of these disrespectful people now
Sorry you're in pain.

Itsprobablynotcominghome · 10/07/2021 07:02

I don’t get it? You are renting? And subletting?

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/07/2021 07:03

They are completely infantilised. But as they’re lodgers, you don’t have to give lodgers much notice… albeit lodgers should have the notice of 1 month if they pay monthly. Do they pay outright the entire amount?

You could kick up a stink.

When is the next rent payment due? You could use the remaining rental payment to pay for the cleaner. Take photos of everything. Then give them notice. Make the notice the length of time they are away. 48 hours when it’s so slovenly is ok.

And reply to your mil. ‘I’m glad to know we are being so unreasonable and you can house them instead. Their things will be here ready to collect on their return..’

user1471538283 · 10/07/2021 07:06

It is so disrespectful. They are saying through their actions that you are less important than they are and your time is less valuable than theirs.

As your MIL thinks a cleaner is unreasonable they can move back in with her.

Get the cleaner and reclaim your home.

ChubbyLittleManInACampervan · 10/07/2021 07:06

What a ridiculous set up! £200?

Why did you ever agree to this

bakingdemon · 10/07/2021 07:08

YANBU. Ungrateful little shits.

TheatricalGiraffe · 10/07/2021 07:11

I'd send pictures to MIL and say thanks for offering to take them back as they're no longer welcome in your house..

finished31 · 10/07/2021 07:11

I agree with others. Take pictures and send to MIL.Gather their shite and send it on to her too via courier and ask them not to return.

They will will come back after this next venture because they are CF's!

Change the locks!

StrongLegs · 10/07/2021 07:12

They sound awful. I think you should show them the door.

StrongLegs · 10/07/2021 07:12

@TheatricalGiraffe totally agreed.

VettiyaIruken · 10/07/2021 07:16

🤣 I was so outraged on your behalf I didn't even take in that they're leaving next month!
I wouldn't let them back in tbh. They can stay with mummy for a month since she thinks it's ok to have someone else scrub your shit off the loo, she can bloody do it!

RubyGoat · 10/07/2021 07:16

YANBU at all. Your MIL obviously wants them back for the next month until they get their own place sorted / go travelling again/whatever. Reply & tell her how grateful you are for the offer, as you can no longer accommodate them due to your poor health.

Also have major words with your DH when he gets back. Just because he works all hours, doesn't mean he gets to watch you destroy yourself trying to pick up after his slob of a sister & her caveman partner. He should have stood up for you ages ago.

SuddenArborealStop · 10/07/2021 07:17

Tell MIL if she thinks her precious child shouldn't pay for the cleaner then she can come round and do it for her. I'm sure she'll shut up when it's her having to scrub shit stains.

5zeds · 10/07/2021 07:20

"I think booking a cleaner is unreasonable and to then charge them for it, it's very petty" she’s right really, it’s totally unreasonable and far too small scoped a response. The reasoned response is ending the agreement immediately. Lazy immature shitheads.

Bluebells1 · 10/07/2021 07:21

You should agree with your MIL and tell her that since it is so "unreasonable", SIL should move back in with her.

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 10/07/2021 07:21

Take a photo of the shit stains and put it on the WhatsApp group. MIL will soon pipe down. They have no respect for you which is a disgrace!

MadinMarch · 10/07/2021 07:25

@AlCalavicci
hmm I am not so sure they already pay £400 a month rent to you which seems quite high to me but my rent is very low so I may have the wrong perspective .
I don't know anyone who can live on less than £50 each a week. Do you?
This seems to cover ALL of their costs- food, council tax, water rates, heat, electric, Skye and presumably wifi.
They're a pair of cocklodgers

ThePoetsWife · 10/07/2021 07:29

I'm amazed you put up with this shit for three fucking years.

I would have kicked them out a long time ago.

Guavafish · 10/07/2021 07:33

I agree.

I think let it go - they are moving out in a week.

Jangle33 · 10/07/2021 07:37

I would never leave my house in that state for a cleaner…have you done at least a preliminary sort/tidy? Appreciate its not your problem but I feel sorry for the cleaner.

LouLou198 · 10/07/2021 07:41

They sound awful! Getting all that for £200 a month each!! They should be grateful and definitely pulling their weight around the house. So disrespectful. I couldn't have lasted 3 months never mind 3 years! Enjoy your clean house, don't think you are being unreasonable at all.