To ask what age it becomes unusual

[Whyyouso]

To live with parents

DS went to university and moved out then, he got a job in his university city and rents, he would have probably not got a decent job if he had moved home to us. He is saving to buy a house but at the moment prefers to rent, he has enough for a deposit. He would not have been happy living with us even if it meant saving more money so I would say early 20s

I moved out in my early 20's, but I have friends who are in their mid 30's who've never left their parents home and have no plans to either... I find that strange.

Personally I would rather people live with their parents rather than in some overpriced and maybe dangerous house share.

I would try not too judge anyone, as you don't fully know everyone's back story.

30+ is getting a bit weird

When I was younger, mid 20's (I'm mid 30's), but now early 30's seems the normal whilst people save to get on the housing ladder.

I think I would rather pay DS's rent than have him still living at home at nearly 30

Probably in your 30s.

Unusual? I'd honestly say close to 40 now because I know so many living at home in their early 30's that it isn't really unusual. They'd all be people who moved back home to save for a mortgage. I moved out at 17 for university myself though and never went back.

I view renting as paying someone else’s mortgage or adding to someone else’s savings, if, you don’t need to put yourself in those circumstances.

That's a valid stance, but when I hear it I can't help thinking: what about growing your independence away from parents - and parents' lives separate from their adult children? I see my parents fairly regularly, but they definitely have a life I'm not a part of - and they enjoy it. I sometimes think how that works if your children are home past 30. But I guess you make it work as circumstances allow.

But I grew up in Scandinavia where renting while you study is fine and also after. The rental market is different here, though, and we have more rights as a tenant. That was very different while living in London, so I definitely understand wanting to buy a house in England (and the UK). Equally, it won't be possible for everyone, of course.

When I lived in Italy it was not at all unusual for DC's to live at home until 30 or so, if not married and saving for a house.

Every society is different.

Personally I left at 18 for uni and never looked back. My parents had already started charging me rent anyway.

I think when it starts to stifle your life/or your parents life.

DH (Asian) and I (Italian) know plenty of people that have lived with their parents until their 30s/till they got married....most times it works absolutely fine and the 'child' still has a job/partners/hobbies and seems like a proper grown up, the parents like having a 'house full'. Sometimes though I can see its stifling them and I just think FFS move out! (Like DHs best mate, handsome, funny, great job...unlucky in love - because he's 33 and lives in his mums house full of knick knacks).

Went to uni at te normal age for 3 years, then I had to move back home as I couldn’t afford to move out. Me and a friend tried pairing up to share a flat but it would have bankrupted us both. Many friends were coupled up at this point.

So essentially, I moved out the family home for uni and had to come back. Moved out for good at 25. I had to save. I lived independently though, not like a child.

The only friends of mine who managed to move out by 21 (so graduation age)

• friends who were couples - managed to afford the rent.
• friend who’s parents bought her a flat outright
• a couple of friends who didn’t return to the SE and therefore had a much easier time affording rent.

Hold judgement on people stuck at home. The rent on a 1 bedroom flat around here is easily £800 plus. I spent 4 years saving like a crazy thing, working mass overtime and cleaning on the side. Even then, it took inheritance to finally be “released” from home. I didn’t want to be at home. One of my friends saved and saved and finally moved out at 30 with a descent deposit. Bless her, not her fault she couldn’t find a partner who she wanted to commit to before that.

Not unusual at all really with house prices being so ridiculous.

Not everyone will buy a house though, will they live with their parents forever

It's quite sad how many people would judge someone because they can't afford to buy a house themselves and need to stay at home to do so. Hope none of you fall on hard times and find yourself unable to pay your mortgage.
The housing market is grossly overpriced and needs a crash to allow many first time buyers in. Buying a house as a lone individual, in today's market is hard, renting can be unstable, so if someone has to stay at home with family until they can get a large deposit, why would I judge that?

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/families/datasets/youngadultslivingwiththeirparents

46% of men at 15
24% of men at 28

It becomes unusual at around 32 - 13% of men (and 3% of women)

er, 25, not 15

I think if someone is in their 30's and has never lived away from home then I'd probably see that as a character flaw if I'm being honest, moving back home due to circumstances or to save for a mortgage is different. Rents were very cheap here 10 years ago when I was in my mid 20's.

Where I live house prices are very high. The only reason DH and I could afford to get on the housing ladder was that FIL passed away and we inherited a share of his house. That only bought us a tiny one bed house.
The only reason we could afford to buy a bigger house was that in 2012 when the market began to recover from the 2008 crash, the bottom rung homes increased in value before the middle sized ones so the step up was smaller. Despite covid, buying round here is still very expensive.
My siblings were only able to buy their own homes as both moved quite a way away to much cheaper areas and one was given a lump sum from an in-law.
Renting round here is also exorbitant and incredibly difficult if you're not a high earner.

@TracyBeakerSoYeah

Doesn't matter how young or old they are. Nowadays we seem to have a problem with multi generational living in the UK. Years & years ago it was quite common.

Absolutely this. Not sure it matters to anyone other than the family themselves.

My dad didn't leave home until he met and married my mum which was common then, he was late twenties and left school at 14 and worked in manual jobs to help contribute to the household, I think it was unusual for friends to flat share then and from that socioeconomic demographic. You stayed and helped the family until you had a family of your own to support. My uncle moved back in with my gran in his forties when he got divorced, he could afford to buy his own place but my gran was in the early stages of Alzheimer's by then, he cared for her (whilst working and with the help of family and then carers towards the end) until she died, at which point he bought his own house. It was a great comfort to our family that my gran was being looked after in her own home where she wanted to be.
I grew up in London and I think it's common to stay until late twenties/thirty after uni trying to save for a deposit, because once renting it's almost impossible.

I don’t know. I certainly get why you would want to stay home these days, but I personally can’t imagine it.

I left at 18, went to college for one year, worked and lived at a resort after that, then found and apartment with friends, then my own, then shared a house with 4 other women, and stayed there until I married DH at 24. That house was so much fun. Seriously some of my fondest memories...we all think back on it still and have so many laughs. It makes me sad that some of today’s generation won’t experience that.

It’s so much fun, decorating your own tiny crappy first apartment, going out all hours, and generally just learning to depend on yourself and learning what adult you is like.

So it’s not that I judge as in I think it’s strange so much as I’m curious about why they wouldn’t want to do all that.

When parents have space and wealth it doesn't make sense for young people returning from uni and starting out on a career / recently separated adults / even young families to spend so much on rent when they could temporarily save for the future and I can see why people do it. Also its fun for a while for parents to have young adults around. However, it has to be balanced with not getting dependent or enmeshed or lazy and entitled. I think every situation on its own merits, because life has its ups and downs, but only temporarily outside your twenties unless its a long term arrangement for care reasons which works for everyone involved.

It his a question about statistics? If so why not google it - there are lots of articles about what proportion of people live with their parents.

But I suspect by unusual you don’t mean under 10%: this is a nasty little thread hoping people will share how amazing they were to buy their own home at 19, and how hey look down on people who live at home when they are thirty.

But I will give you the benefit of the doubt and maybe you honestly don’t know what unusual means and how to translate that into statistics.

Again, I highly recommend a dictionary and some research.