To ask what age it becomes unusual

[Whyyouso]

To live with parents

'Well yes, it is all so different now. When I went to uni it was completely achievable, and indeed a basic expectation, that you would live in a crappy house share for a few years max in which time you could also save to buy your first small basic property.

Now, unless they want to be a plane trip away from a major work hub city, young people would need to sell a kidney just to rent a crappy bedsit. That alone would leave nothing for food or basic living expenses let alone saving for a deposit for an astronomically priced basic unit within a doable distance from employment opportunities. That’s what’s all different now!'

+++
9k a year fees
No grants
Etc etc

They're trapped into huge debt before even got going. And that alters you attitude to debt etc. Also handily means you have to be a good cog in the capitalist system and not go out and do protests etc etc. Like young people esp students used to.

What happened to squats? Anyone know?

'It's a bit different with boomerang kids - they're more likely to be at home because they've tried the real world and can't afford it. That's circumstance rather than intention.'

Or...
And IME and as I put some stats way more men than women.

Doing a house share or something and thinking. Housework. Money spent. Shit food. Responsibility. Oh look! Tenancy up. Hello mum!

Separation.

Not moving out until got a woman to look after them who isn't their mum.

Loneliness. (IME women are much happier on their own than men).

Just not growing up. Dossing. Crap jobs. Going to be a musician. Etc etc etc

Just my pov. And this was 30 years ago it's even worse now!

I think each generation has had different circumstances and expectations.

My grandparents' generation lived at home until they got married. However they started work and married relatively early and rented.

I don't know anyone from my group at Uni who lived at home afterwards. We rented and house shared until we got married then got on the property ladder as couples. A mortgage was affordable between two people.

Looking at my DC I have no idea how they will manage to buy a house with prices like they are. If they came back here they'd be looking at £350-500k for a terrace. So they'd end up back with us.

If they moved to London it would be difficult to afford rent and impossible to save to buy.

@aLilNonnyMouse

It depends on circumstances rather than age. I know people in their 50s living with parents as they are providing round the clock care.

Many working people in their 20's and 30's are living with parents in order to save for a house deposit.

Life is harder now for a lot of people, and secure housing is much harder to get and keep. I'd only judge someone if they were living with their parents, not contributing, and refusing to either work or study. Age doesn't really come into it.

This.

I moved out at 29. Gave me chance to save for a house deposit on factory worker wages. I had already moved away to uni for 4 years so wasn't there continuously.
Both my parents were in and out of hospital as well.
Must say, it was bloody good to move out.
Think dh moved out at 16.
So both ends of the spectrum.

22 and 8 months.

gavel.

No, it just depends on the circumstances. I left home at 18 but I'd only definitely judge an adult who was living with their parents and wasn't contributing, helping with the house, food, or emotionally over-dependent on their parents. (That guy another poster mentioned who said he'd kill himself when his mother died....I dated one like that....very briefly....the theme from Psycho starts playing in my head when I remember him).

I think if you're in your 30s and aren't even saving to move out etc, then that's weird.
I've know someone who's just turned 38 and is clearly not going to move out. It's weird. I've never known him to have a girlfriend either. I think his parents must have just given up hope that he'll ever go.

Agree the urge to move on seems to have generally decreased over the years. My friends and I were all desperate to go and the trajectory was leave for university at 18 then single years of shared houses and adventures in your twenties then partner up and buy a house. Think it’s rather sad to not have those independent years in your twenties.

I think there is a generation of young people living at home now who are still living like teenagers in their 20s. Getting everything done for them. And they haven’t knocked around in crappy beds its and had to manage their own lives. And are a bit childish because of it.

But housing is stupidly more expensive than it used to be…so I get living at home for longer. But not contributing to keeping the house clean, washing etc…..hmmmm.

Also know one or two who are happily going to live forever with their mums and never move out…or not till they find someone who’ll act just like their mums do…

@MsTSwift

Agree the urge to move on seems to have generally decreased over the years. My friends and I were all desperate to go and the trajectory was leave for university at 18 then single years of shared houses and adventures in your twenties then partner up and buy a house. Think it’s rather sad to not have those independent years in your twenties.

This, very much for me.

There is no normal, it varies, it all depends both on your income, ability to manage your money, and other financial resources (like mum and dad’s bank) you may have to help you sort yourself up.

The average rent in my are for a studio is £650, if you are in your 20s and earning over £18,000 a year you may be able to consider it provided you are not in any hurry to save for a deposit.

It depends what the person's role in the household is. Living in a state of perpetual adolescence, earning an adult wage but paying virtually no contribution to rent, bills & food, with a parent continuing to cook most meals, do most of the shopping, do most of the washing & cleaning..... not cool.

Living back with parents for 4 or 5 years after starting work in order to set yourself up financially, while sharing equally in household jobs etc - reasonable.

Living at home until 30s on grounds of "saving for a deposit" - if it takes you that long to save with no rent to pay, either your salary isn't high enough to get a mortgage is all likelihood, or you are spending all your money instead of saving it!!

What I think is weird is a question like this still being asked. I thought we were living in times when we were becoming less judgemental of other peoples lifestyle choices for whatever reason. No explanation needed.

I view renting as paying someone else’s mortgage or adding to someone else’s savings, if, you don’t need to put yourself in those circumstances. However either way none of my business and so I don’t judge

It's got nothing to do with teenagers having changed, and everything to do with living costs. When I was young, I had no university fees, and rent in a shared house was £30-£35 a week. A couple of years of saving was enough for a deposit on a house. The total mortgage was £400 a month, with DH and I each paying £200.

My first job out of university paid £15,000. The equivalent job is much harder to get these days, and pays £25-28,000 starting salary. The thought of someone earning £25k and being able to pay 250 a month for a decent houseshare or save up in 2.years for the deposit and pay £400 a month each on a mortgage on a house which would now cost £250,000 seems ridiculous. For most young people, the options are to live at home to save up, to get an extremely well-paid job, to be given or inherit money for a house, or to live in insecure tenancies for most/all of their lives.

not everyone goes to university

everyone is individual

Early 30s. Especially nowadays where a lot of people are choosing to live at home for longer to save up a deposit for a house.

DP lived with his parents until he moved in with me 4 years ago in his mid 40's. His reasons for not moving out sooner were 1). The thought of badly injuring himself or dying during a seizure and not being found for days terrified him and 2). Freaking out any housemates when he had a seizure, along with them seeing him covered in piss and vomit afterwards was too embarrassing for him to think about.

I think its a weirdly British idea that children should move out ASAP or be deemed odd, I'm not sure why it's such an important thing to pass judgement on.

I moved out at 18, however I moved into a house owned by my parents while I was at uni. So while I wasn't in tbe same house as them, I frankly had an easy time benefiting from their purchase. Not only that they paid tbe bills without me seeing them, organised and paid for a cleaner, so all I actually became responsible for in the move was my food.

I lived there until my parents then helped me buy somewhere of my own following uni and then I did start to be a little more responsible and pay more myself.

So in theory I left home at 18, but was so supported now I look back I don't really feel it was leaving home at all.

I wouldn’t judge. I know people of all ages who live with their parents for many different reasons. Divorce, caring responsibilities, whatever.

I moved out at 18 when I went to college and spent my 20s sharing houses with friends before I met my partner. However if we split up I wouldn’t be able to afford a mortgage on my own and even rent might be a struggle (v expensive) so living with parents would be a real possibility if only temporarily.

I know someone in their 40s who continues to live with their parents. Their priority has always been to use their money to travel. And they have! So I don’t judge because I envy them a bit. They have travelled the world and show no signs of stopping.

The average age of first time buyer is 33 in the UK. In Ireland its 34. Its risen from 29-34 in the past decade. In Ireland 25% people live in Co. Dublin where the pokiest imaginable one bedroom flat will set you back £800 a month which is the equivalent to 50%+ salary for most young people. You're just burning money.

Buying just isn't feasible for many 20 somethings who grew up in affluent European countries these days while renting is burning money. The system is broken. (i say that as a home owning 40 year old)

I went to uni at 18 then moved home after as I was stony broke. It took me until 25 to save up enough money to get my own place. This is pretty common among my friends. If you have additional money then you could move out before I guess.

@drpet49

Early 30s. Especially nowadays where a lot of people are choosing to live at home for longer to save up a deposit for a house.

I don’t think it’s a choice, it’s a necessity. In certain parts of the country, anyway.

It depends on the circumstances. Perfectly normal to stay in the family home well into adulthood in many cultures.

And I think with rising house prices it's far more normal nowadays to stay into mid-late 20s.