To ask what age it becomes unusual

[Whyyouso]

To live with parents

I'd say it was reasonably common at all ages. It might not be only for the child's sake, the parent might also need help.

How long is a piece of string?
My neighbour is 66 his parents are 90 I'd say he is a welcomed help in the home in an adult relationship.
I don't see the problem if everyone is happy.

Our family tend to all live together unless there is a argument then one section might move out.
I come from an immigrant family so we tend to stick together and spouses move into the family home and then pool money together and buy a bigger place.

Not too sure what is going to happen with dc. We are all going into business together and I don’t see Ds especially moving out any time soon.
Dd has been asked to flat share with her friend after her friend comes back from Uni but atm dd doesn’t have the money and we are in no position to be guarantors on her rent.
We will probably get a bigger property and move friend in.
She has lived with us before
We all get on extremely well

I don't think I'd think it was unusual tbh. There are so many variables. People want to save for a house, looking after family members, just enjoy living with with close family because they, y'know, like each other.

I know lots of 20-somethings living at home. Some of them are possibly 30-somethings now! I just wouldn't judge this at all.

I’ve never really thought about this before.

I suppose mid 20s would give me pause but only in that it’s unusual - not necessarily bad.

Well into 30s and 40s - surely they’re the sort of peak of your adult life and to still be living at home just seems ... sad maybe, I don’t know. But again that’s probably just based on what we see as ‘normal’ and someone living at home in that age bracket (or older) is not living a worse life than I am just because they’re outwith the norm. I imagine in many ways it must be lovely, you may have gone full circle with your parents and it could be really nice relationship and good for them as well as you. Also to not have to shoulder the financial responsibility of a property alone too although I’m sure you’d contribute to the household.

My children are both under 10 now but I foresee them living with us until at least mid 20s actually just because by then it’ll be even harder to buy a house than it is now. I have no issues with that, would love them to stay forever.

I dont see kids and parents living together as weird or unusual.. Its stupidly expensive &places are hard to come by in the region I live in..Plenty of extended families pool their resources and buy large homes to live in together. Already told my teens they are welcome as long as they need the roof over their heads-we have a large home&all pitch in for chores..I wish id had parents whod been there for me-I had to leave home at15 and was homeless on&off until i completed uni&emigrated..its a peculiarity amongst brits who view it as socially unacceptable!

My dd went to uni for 3 yrs, then came back. She has been home for 3 yrs now, can't see her moving anytime soon.

I'd say it's relatively unusual past about 30, but I wouldn't necessarily judge someone. They could be doing something sensible like moving in for a bit to save a deposit. I agree it's not ever inherently weird, people are all different.

My fist OLD was with someone late 40s still living with his mum. I got the distinct impression he felt she was getting on and was looking for her replacement. There wasn't a second date.

It depends on circumstances rather than age. I know people in their 50s living with parents as they are providing round the clock care.

Many working people in their 20's and 30's are living with parents in order to save for a house deposit.

Life is harder now for a lot of people, and secure housing is much harder to get and keep. I'd only judge someone if they were living with their parents, not contributing, and refusing to either work or study. Age doesn't really come into it.

Depends

This is a how long is a piece of string question surely?

If you're in possession of a massive stately home then potentially never.

If you don't get on with your parents and they don't like you then 14/ 16 / 18.

Why do you ask?

There's stats on the net etc.

I remember a few years back it was women moved out younger and blokes stayed at home longer.

That was my experience. I moved out after university it was clear i wasn't welcome at home so 21 I think. Brother lived at home till 42 or something.

@FlyingBattie

It completely depends on the circumstances, so I wouldn't judge.

This.

There are so many possible reasons why someone may live with their parents at a certain age, that it seems a bit pointless to try and come up with a cut off for when it becomes unusual.

It's so expensive to buy a house that people stay later. I'd rather my child stay and save to buy than rent a house and pay someone else's mortgage but if they were just staying and leeching then they're out.
I think it can be very unhealthy living with parents with no plan. Like getting your washing etc done for you as an adult etc but if you're saving hard and have a plan I think it's ok.

@WanderOverThere

Said exactly what I was going to say.

I do think things are different.

When I was young loads of young people lived in bedsits, shared houses, all sorts of random and often pretty crappy places. Because they wanted to move out.

Things have definitely changed.

Even when I was young there was no way a person even in a fairly decent job could even imagine that if they saved they could afford a house where we all grew up.

I think that is a distinctive tbh. And parents seem happier to have kids at home for years which I don't really get either tbh.

Every single friend who lives in the area ish had help from parents.

House prices are just ridiculous. And now if they go to university they generally leave with s huge debt. That I had didn't have (no charge for tuition) although I had student loans. And further back there were grants to help with living costs etc

If you have been to university- which many more do than before.

9 grand a year is it? So 27k. Plus anything you've borrowed for living costs etc...
They come out with what. Say 30k debt. Many it's much more.

So saving for a house? They're hooked into the borrow / years to pay before they've even had a go at getting grown up job.

That really fucks me off tbh. For so many reasons.

@WanderOverThere

It's so expensive to buy a house that people stay later. I'd rather my child stay and save to buy than rent a house and pay someone else's mortgage but if they were just staying and leeching then they're out. I think it can be very unhealthy living with parents with no plan. Like getting your washing etc done for you as an adult etc but if you're saving hard and have a plan I think it's ok.

What happened to shared houses? Crappy bedsits?

Why are they getting their washing done?

Why aren't they keen to move out?

It's all so different now.

For me the question is, why are so many young people happy to stay at home. For years.

When I was young getting independence was so important. At least for girls- even back then boys were way more likely to stay at home.

Why don't young adults want to.. leave the nest as it were. Separate from parents, do their own thing. That is a big change and one I can't understand.

I lived with my Mum until I was 28 (so nice to know I am considered “odd” in some people’s eyes!)

My Mum and I are close and get on very well. I paid towards the house and did lots of the housework, food shopping and cooking etc. She raised me to believe that renting was throwing money down the drain so as I worked in minimum wage jobs for a long time it took a while to afford to buy my own house.

I am now a month off being 36 and have sold my house, wanted to make the sale quick and easy and chain free so am moving in to rented for a short time. I would happily move in with her until I find somewhere to buy instead of renting but unfortunately she’s living in a over 55’s retirement complex so that won’t be possible!

I think, unless someone has committed a crime, it is unfair to judge others life choices/circumstances and just because someone lives at home after their mid-twenties it does not necessarily mean they are “odd” or have something wrong with them!!

@TracyBeakerSoYeah

Doesn't matter how young or old they are. Nowadays we seem to have a problem with multi generational living in the UK. Years & years ago it was quite common.

I'd agree. My father was an only child of a widowed mother. He lived with her until he married at 25, and he and Mum immediately moved into the upstairs of his Mum's house, while she lived independently downstairs.

As Grandmother got older and more disabled, her widowed sister plus son moved in with her to do the caring. Then we kids were born upstairs. By the time I was born, there were 5 people upstairs and three downstairs. It was a wonderful life ! I used to come home from school and go to see Gran, who loved spending time with me - we'd listen to the radio and do crosswords together. I'd highly recommend multi-generational living if everyone gets on.

2019 UK data ONS

Both men and women are living with their parents for longer than they did 20 years earlier, but it’s young men who are more likely to stay with their parents than young women. In 2017, of men aged 18 to 34 years old, 37% lived with their parents, compared with 26% of women in the same age group.

'Years & years ago it was quite common.'

To have multiple generations living together in the UK.

When are you thinking of though? Which period?

We've had appalling housing conditions in the past. Slums etc.

My grandad was born in 1903 and it wasn't a norm in his family/ where he lived.

It's an interesting thought but where/ when are you thinking of?

What happened to shared houses? Crappy bedsits?
Why are they getting their washing done?
Why aren't they keen to move out?
It's all so different now.

Well yes, it is all so different now. When I went to uni it was completely achievable, and indeed a basic expectation, that you would live in a crappy house share for a few years max in which time you could also save to buy your first small basic property.

Now, unless they want to be a plane trip away from a major work hub city, young people would need to sell a kidney just to rent a crappy bedsit. That alone would leave nothing for food or basic living expenses let alone saving for a deposit for an astronomically priced basic unit within a doable distance from employment opportunities. That’s what’s all different now!

I think staying in your parents' home once you actually have the resources/ ability to move out is a bit weird.

If you get to the point where you have enough money for a deposit/ rent but still remain living with your parents, even if it's for purposes of saving more money, I think that is strange.

I've known people do this and I think they are just delaying the inevitable of having to become independent.

There should be an end point to the "saving" because people who live with their parents forever are missing out on all sorts of life experiences and life skills.

it depends on the situation , as a couple of posters have said if your child is struggling why would you not have them live with you just because our society thinks its weird if they are older and in other ethinic groups multi generational living is very common , i wont be making my daughter move out if shes happy at home , but i would want her to be independent

, i do know someone who is nearly 50 ,still living with his elderly mum who he is completly dependent on , we did meet for coffees a few times and i quite liked him until the nature of their relationship became clear and then i nipped it in the bud sharpish , he had never ever had a girlfriend , once his mum phoned and said shed just come back to the house and wanted him home , he started getting ready to rush off back and when i questioned why he got a sharp with me , she was fit and able i should add , he also told me once she died he would kill himself as there would be no point in going on without her , which shocked me ,also never worked he blamed his depression , i didnt even bother to explain his depression came from his dependent controlled relationship with his mother , it was so pitiful and these are about the only circumstances id say it would be still be living at home at an older age

I'd say from late 20s, especially if they've never lived away from home.

It's a bit different with boomerang kids - they're more likely to be at home because they've tried the real world and can't afford it. That's circumstance rather than intention.

Or with children who have moved back in to provide care. Most of them probably don't want to be there, but they're making a huge sacrifice.