Paedophile or lonely man?

[Justheretoaskaquestion91]

Joined specifically just to ask this question as I’m having a bit of an uncomfortable situation and trying to verbalise it/see if I’m being stupid/unreasonable. Every week I was taking my toddler to the same supermarket and always had the same checkout. The checkout man was always very chatty with my toddler and had a niece of a similar age but no children of his own. As such he was advising on where to buy costumes (and suggesting I take photos of my child in costumes and show him). In the end I had a bit of a creepy feeling so avoided him when I went there/anyway shopped online a bit more.

Went back this week (having not been for months) without my child and he was very disappointed by this/said he missed my child and I needed to bring them in again. Also asked after the costume and again asked for photos.

I can’t tell if this is a lonely person without children (30-40 years old) and maybe a few problems and therefore I’m a bit of a bitch because it was harmless, or if this was a paedophile and he was being creepy and I should let the store know. It was just a bit creepy really.

Thank you everyone

@Rubyupbeat he was in a group where he was regarded as basically weird but also harmless and of course we all felt sorry for him

This is not normal behaviour at all. I’d be suspicious of anyone paying too much attention to my child and that is before they start asking to see photographs. I would also speak to the manager of the store and possibly the local Police. For all you know he could be a registered sex offender who has no other way of accessing children, other than through his work. It’s highly suspicious and inappropriate.

@XiXiXi

His checkout was always the only one free! By quite some way. It’s not a huge supermarket there are only a few checkouts open. It’s so awkward tbh that as I say I just won’t go back there

@XiXiXi

Also I think in the beginning it was just friendliness. As a PP said when it started to be about photos it just turned a corner and then I didn’t go back.

Two possibilities- he's a creep in which case management need to be told OR he's lacking in social awareness and needs to be told for his own safety.

Either way you do need to talk to the store manager.

Either he's harmless or he's not, there's no way for you to tell (until its too late and he's approached your child, used their name, and told them he knows you.)

He shouldn't be doing this, I hope you report him to his manager. You should also ask the local police using Sarah's Law.

Either he's harmless or he's not, there's no way for you to tell (until its too late and he's approached your child, used their name, and told them he knows you.)

Jesus fucking Christ. This is an extremely frightening and scary, SCARY thought. He also knows roughly where we live (village, not street thank god) due to conversations before the photo one. Thank you for the sobering thought.

You should also ask the local police using Sarah's Law

I don’t know his name

I think you need to talk to the police, don't worry about not knowing his name. They can find out.

And remind your kids not to talk to or go off with strangers.

No wonder his checkout is always free- you are obviously not the only one avoiding being served by him. Always trust your instincts regarding your childrens safety. It could be completely innocent if he has additional needs but if not he may be speaking to other mums who are not as astute as you ...

@claralara42

Peodophiles generally try and hide it, rather than announce it so obviously. Sounds more like possible cognitive issues and poor boundaries.

This was my immediate thought as well.

Your use of the word 'costumes' does conjure up swimming costumes but I see you've since clarified it was dress up outfits. Had you engaged him in much chat about his niece or was it very oje way him talking about your son? How many times did you chat to him at your till? I dont think it's that weird him remembering your sons name if as you say you always went to his till?

@baldafrique I did ask about his niece a little but more in a “is this how you know about this?” As he frequently offered information about children eg children’s costumes, children’s party hire, children’s Christmas events etc. Pfft I probably had a run of 5/6 weeks using his till. I think anyway - weekly shopping does blend into one a little.

Avoid him and go to the checkout he's not at? Not very difficult, or do scan as you shop?

@readytosell

This is hardly such an exciting or unusual story that I would be making it up.

And don't brand some innocent (as far as you know) old boy who is taking an interest in your like as a creepy old kiddy fiddler!

*life

This sort of chat can get people physically hurt....

I can see why you are concerned, can you avoid his till? I don’t think
I would speak to the manager personally. But I would avoid completely, avoid the till or shop elsewhere.

@Royalbloo

That’s not what I’ve done at all

@Roselilly36 I will avoid the shop I just wanted to know what other people thought and actually most people would talk to the manager which is what I will do so thanks to everyone who commented

Why the hell would you report someone for being friendly?! That's what other posters are suggesting?