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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - my partner wants to watch the football with his mate when I’m having the baby on Tuesday?

184 replies

AmiSum · 08/07/2021 21:50

Please can you help with this because I’m being told I’m being unreasonable? My partner’s best mate wants to go and watch the final on Sunday in Liverpool (we live 45 minutes away). Ive said that’s fine but please can he limit himself to 3 or 4 pints as I’m booked in for a section on Tuesday morning (he normally has 2 day hangovers).
I was so happy a couple of days ago as he’d said he’d booked the Monday off work and we could have a nice day together - I know the nerves will have really kicked in by then. Deep down I’m gutted that he’s even asked to go out on the Sunday in the first place but I’m not prepared to say he can’t go, just that please can he limit himself so that he’s not got a hangover on the Monday, and especially not the Tuesday. Apparently I’m doing his head in by going on about it though. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and to know if I’m just being a pregnant crank! X

OP posts:
Dollywilde · 08/07/2021 21:53

Yanbu in my opinion. I know things are different now but DH and I isolated ahead of my due date in August because of the risk of him catching covid - if he’d tested positive on arrival at the hospital he couldn’t have been my birth partner and seeing his DD being born was more important to him than going to the pub (which was allowed when I had DD in Aug 20).

Also what if you go into Labour early!

Not sure how you change his mind though :-(

Menora · 08/07/2021 21:56

Yeah do you both have to isolate? I had a Covid test before surgery last month and had to isolate for 3 days. Maybe ring your MW?

RunningFromInsanity · 08/07/2021 21:56

YABU.
(Also how much are you going on about it for him to be pissed off?)

The football is Sunday, your c section is Tuesday. 2 day hangovers are not a thing, it’s just an excuse to be lazy the second day so I’m pretty sure the birth of his child will snap him out of it.

Azerothi · 08/07/2021 21:57

Do you think your boyfriend really booked Monday off because he wanted to go to the football and get drunk?

HelloDulling · 08/07/2021 21:58

He can’t drink; well, not if you need him to drive you. You could easily go into labour on Sunday.

HelloDulling · 08/07/2021 21:59

@RunningFromInsanity

YABU. (Also how much are you going on about it for him to be pissed off?)

The football is Sunday, your c section is Tuesday. 2 day hangovers are not a thing, it’s just an excuse to be lazy the second day so I’m pretty sure the birth of his child will snap him out of it.

Lucky you. Since I hit my 40s, 2 day hangovers are very much a thing.
Divineswirls · 08/07/2021 22:00

@Azerothi

Do you think your boyfriend really booked Monday off because he wanted to go to the football and get drunk?
I'm pretty sure he's booked the Monday off pre Caesarean not post final.

Try and persuade him to watch it at home as he really shouldn't be out before the birth esp in pub catching covid possibly.

Smilingthru · 08/07/2021 22:00

I’m my concern would be him catching covid or getting a notification from the track and trace that he needed to isolate and then miss the birth.

I’d ask him to stay home but offer to host his mate or something instead. The hangover wouldn’t bother me but the risk of him having to isolate and be alone would x

TempName01 · 08/07/2021 22:01

@RunningFromInsanity

YABU. (Also how much are you going on about it for him to be pissed off?)

The football is Sunday, your c section is Tuesday. 2 day hangovers are not a thing, it’s just an excuse to be lazy the second day so I’m pretty sure the birth of his child will snap him out of it.

2 day hangovers are definitely a thing! 😄.

He shouldn’t be drinking so close to your due date, baby could come at any time

lastqueenofscotland · 08/07/2021 22:01

I’ve been getting two day hangovers since my mid twenties…
As long as you don’t have to isolate I’d not be too bothered about watching the game.

Original poster
AmiSum · 08/07/2021 22:07

Thanks for your responses! I hadn’t even considered the covid isolation threat as he works in a restaurant, so will be in that environment until Saturday night anyway. We’ve got our covid tests booked for Sunday morning x

OP posts:
Dinosauratemydaffodils · 08/07/2021 22:15

The football is Sunday, your c section is Tuesday.

If only it was that simple. I had a section booked for a Thursday morning with dc2. By the time that slot rolled round, she was already here. That's ignoring covid and hangovers.

Personally I'd make contingency plans and have a friend/family member on call just in case. How close is the hospital to you?

Good luck.

HotPenguin · 08/07/2021 22:18

He sounds extremely selfish. Do you have family near by who can help if you go into labour?

Imcatmum · 08/07/2021 22:18

Tell him you're going too. Why should he get to have all the fun! FFS, could they not just watch it at home considering he's having a baby on Tues. Prick.

sunlight81 · 08/07/2021 22:21

Nah - never in a million years is he ever going to "only have 3 or 4 pints". If he goes out you can't set out "rules" he needs to WANT to not drink too much so he can be with you.

Just say you'd prefer him not to go and his mate can come over. That way when u go into Labour as the half time whistle blows, he can at least be present at the birth!

Babyboomtastic · 08/07/2021 22:22

I'd be fine with him going, but no drinking, as he needs to be able to drive back and take you to the hospital at any moment.

Imcatmum · 08/07/2021 22:22

Also, do I understand right. He's going to do a covid test (to ensure he's not hot covid on Tues) and then after that go into the most high risk scenario to catch covid and bring it to you, your newborn and the staff at the hospital 2 days later? No fucking way would I be cool with DH exposing himself heavily to covid risk on a piss up watching footy 2 days before he's due to hold and kiss our 1min old baby.

Morechocolatethanbarbara · 08/07/2021 22:24

If you're having a covid test on Sunday morning to ensure youre both clear before your cesarean on Tue, why is he going out in a group on Sunday night?

He could test negative in the morning and picking it up in the evening. He should be isolating between the test and your hospital appointment.

How will he feels if he gives his pregnant wife and new baby covid? Is the man an idiot?

OnlyCans · 08/07/2021 22:25

Your covid tests are booked for Sunday because you will have to self isolate with you from Sunday until Tuesday. You have to self isolate three days prior to surgery now. He can't go or you will have to cancel your surgery/not have him there.

bloodyhell19 · 08/07/2021 22:26

So covid test Sunday morning but he's off out after that to watch a football match? Is he for real. I'd freak - football does not take priority over your safety and the safety of your newborn. You're about to have major surgery to bring your child into the world, he can give the footie and drinking a miss for once.

newnortherner111 · 08/07/2021 22:28

YANBU.

It is not going in person to the game at Wembley. That would possibly be different.

welshweasel · 08/07/2021 22:28

Are you sure you don’t both have to isolate after your covid test? You do in my trust. Irrespective I’d be expecting him to be practicing robust social distancing for 2 weeks prior to your section date. It’s massively irresponsible to go to a bloody footie match two days before. In pre covid times I’d have no issue with it but not at the moment.

CanofCant · 08/07/2021 22:31

You're about to have major surgery to bring your child into the world, he can give the footie and drinking a miss for once.

Wholeheartedly agree with this. Even without the covid risk I would be really hurt and pissed off with him. It would definitely change how I saw him and maybe even make me reconsider our marriage. He's a bit of a selfish let down isn't he?

Good luck for Tuesday. Flowers

goddessofmischief · 08/07/2021 22:32

PCR covid test? He'd have to isolate afterwards then anyway. Tell him not to take the piss. It's fucking football. You're having a baby. He needs to put on his adult pants and have a serious reality check. 2 day hangover? He'll have to knock that on its head pretty quick.

toocold54 · 08/07/2021 22:32

I voted YABU as it’s on Sunday and he has the Monday to recover. But if you need to isolate before you can give birth then obviously YANBU. A baby comes first he can watch the match at home.

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