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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - my partner wants to watch the football with his mate when I’m having the baby on Tuesday?

184 replies

AmiSum · 08/07/2021 21:50

Please can you help with this because I’m being told I’m being unreasonable? My partner’s best mate wants to go and watch the final on Sunday in Liverpool (we live 45 minutes away). Ive said that’s fine but please can he limit himself to 3 or 4 pints as I’m booked in for a section on Tuesday morning (he normally has 2 day hangovers).
I was so happy a couple of days ago as he’d said he’d booked the Monday off work and we could have a nice day together - I know the nerves will have really kicked in by then. Deep down I’m gutted that he’s even asked to go out on the Sunday in the first place but I’m not prepared to say he can’t go, just that please can he limit himself so that he’s not got a hangover on the Monday, and especially not the Tuesday. Apparently I’m doing his head in by going on about it though. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and to know if I’m just being a pregnant crank! X

OP posts:
diddl · 09/07/2021 08:46

@leafygarden42

Why is it obligatory to drink lots of alcohol to watch a football game?
Because they're so fucking tedious?
FunMcCool · 09/07/2021 08:50

Yabu. Your section is the Tuesday. The football is Sunday.

TiredButDancing · 09/07/2021 08:59

I am usually quite accommodating of what DH and I refer to as "Big Games " but not in this case. I'd feel bad for him because I totally understand why he wants to be watching the game with his mates somewhere but... you could go into labour early AND he's supposed to self isolate after the test pre surgery.

So he's being entirely unreasonable, albeit for understandable reasons.

Twelvetimestwo · 09/07/2021 09:02

@RunningFromInsanity

YABU. (Also how much are you going on about it for him to be pissed off?)

The football is Sunday, your c section is Tuesday. 2 day hangovers are not a thing, it’s just an excuse to be lazy the second day so I’m pretty sure the birth of his child will snap him out of it.

Cool wife
Mamamamasaurus · 09/07/2021 09:06

@Doghead

Stop nagging. It's a one off.
As is this baby's immenent birth, 🙄
Twelvetimestwo · 09/07/2021 09:08

@FunMcCool

Yabu. Your section is the Tuesday. The football is Sunday.
Erm. Isolation. Covid. Spontaneous labour before the c section date. Having respect for your anxious partner who's about to undertake major surgery, perhaps alone due to your own selfishness and 'need' to watch a football game.

God if this man can't miss one match, he's got a hell of a ride coming when the baby's here!

tara66 · 09/07/2021 09:11

He needs to grow up and some one needs to make him sort out his priorities and the time line of these events especially the covid test.

Twelvetimestwo · 09/07/2021 09:12

@leafygarden42

Why is it obligatory to drink lots of alcohol to watch a football game?
This is England and here we have an almightily bad relationship with alcohol
Dishwashersaurous · 09/07/2021 09:14

The logical solution is that he goes but doesn't drink, in case you go into labour then he rushes back.

If he cannot drink for one night then you have much bigger problems than one evening

Twelvetimestwo · 09/07/2021 09:17

@Dishwashersaurous

The logical solution is that he goes but doesn't drink, in case you go into labour then he rushes back.

If he cannot drink for one night then you have much bigger problems than one evening

They both have to test on Sunday morning.

Therefore he can't then go out mixing on Sunday evening. It's not logical.

They need to isolate from the moment of the test.

Ostryga · 09/07/2021 09:19

If you’re testing Sunday morning of course he can’t go out. You both need to isolate until Tuesday.

I know this is an important match, but your health and giving birth beats an England final any day. And I say that as a huge football fan.

Doesn’t change the outcome where he watches it. It will change your opinion of him if he puts a match ahead of you and your child though. Depends what’s more important to him I guess.

DancesWithTortoises · 09/07/2021 09:20

He's a selfish prick, OP. This doesn't bode well for the future.

Thehop · 09/07/2021 09:20

Ask the hospital to confirm he must isolate after his pcr test.

Bancha · 09/07/2021 09:21

think of something that's important to you and then think of it being a one off, never to be repeated event.

@Backhills something like the birth of your child, perhaps? Ah well, I guess he can always catch that on telly…

Twelvetimestwo · 09/07/2021 09:21

@Thehop

Ask the hospital to confirm he must isolate after his pcr test.
Yes. Although it's a shame he can't work it out himself / listen to his wife
MissTrip82 · 09/07/2021 09:27

He's going to lie to the hospital staff isn't he. So he can attend the birth.

We all really, really loathe that people do this. It's awful.

GrandmaSteglitszch · 09/07/2021 09:29

Monday is the last day you can have together before you (specifically you, OP) have your life completely taken over.

If you've explained that, and he's still complaining, he's a selfish git.

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 09/07/2021 09:30

@Bancha

think of something that's important to you and then think of it being a one off, never to be repeated event.

@Backhills something like the birth of your child, perhaps? Ah well, I guess he can always catch that on telly…

Exactly.

Funnily enough this “never to be repeated, once in a lifetime event” is show on the magic little picture box that most people in England have. This isn’t about watching the football this is because he wants to get paralytic and is using the football as an “excuse”. Absolutely pathetic behaviour.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 09/07/2021 09:31

@MissTrip82

He's going to lie to the hospital staff isn't he. So he can attend the birth.

We all really, really loathe that people do this. It's awful.

Agreed. All those other vulnerable women and children he is potentially putting at risk because slinging pints down your neck is more of a priority. Vile creature he is OP.
PiffleWiffleWoozle · 09/07/2021 09:34

Normally I would say one last round of football freedom before the birth sounds fine, if it’s a planned section and there are emergency plans if it’s early.

However there is a really high risk of having to self-isolate at the moment due to case numbers (currently know several people doing this) so I would say it’s too high a risk suggest he watch on telly with some beers and videochat

gamerchick · 09/07/2021 09:34

Well then he has a choice to make. Once he has that test he has to self isolate until the surgery

He needs to choose between going out and being there for the birth of the baby. It's that simple.

Nononsense2 · 09/07/2021 09:36

How selfish! He can bring covid to the hospital and to his newborn baby. I would consider a different birth partner if he's insisting going to the match after his test.

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/07/2021 09:37

YANBU

4PawsGood · 09/07/2021 09:41

I wouldn’t be happy. The partner of most people I know stayed under the drinking drive limit from 37/38 weeks onwards. The last thing a partner wants is to be supporting you through a hangover.

Also, from a covid point of view, there’s the isolation, which you need to check. Secondly, do you want to catch covid or to be a close contact just after you’ve given birth? Best case you and DH aren’t ill but it’s still a logistical pain you just don’t need at that point.
You also really don’t need one of you flu-like for a week with a newborn and post section.

lazyarse123 · 09/07/2021 09:41

@AmiSum

Thanks for your responses! I hadn’t even considered the covid isolation threat as he works in a restaurant, so will be in that environment until Saturday night anyway. We’ve got our covid tests booked for Sunday morning x
You're meant to isolate after the test until your procedure. The first time a man put football before my child would be the last time.