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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - my partner wants to watch the football with his mate when I’m having the baby on Tuesday?

184 replies

AmiSum · 08/07/2021 21:50

Please can you help with this because I’m being told I’m being unreasonable? My partner’s best mate wants to go and watch the final on Sunday in Liverpool (we live 45 minutes away). Ive said that’s fine but please can he limit himself to 3 or 4 pints as I’m booked in for a section on Tuesday morning (he normally has 2 day hangovers).
I was so happy a couple of days ago as he’d said he’d booked the Monday off work and we could have a nice day together - I know the nerves will have really kicked in by then. Deep down I’m gutted that he’s even asked to go out on the Sunday in the first place but I’m not prepared to say he can’t go, just that please can he limit himself so that he’s not got a hangover on the Monday, and especially not the Tuesday. Apparently I’m doing his head in by going on about it though. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and to know if I’m just being a pregnant crank! X

OP posts:
MargotMoon · 08/07/2021 22:33

I reckon he definitely booked the Monday off to nurse a hangover, not to have a 'nice pre-baby day' with you. But if he wants to see his child born he will need to isolate with you after the test on Sunday morning (in my area it's 3 days pre-surgery).

Sandinmyknickers · 08/07/2021 22:34

Eh? Covid test sunday morning but then going out for he football Sunday night? Defeats the point really doesnt it.
Also shows a distinct lack of care on his part for you, your newborn and the staff at the hospital if he is going to knowingly expose himself after his test. I think that's a much bigger issue and I would struggle to have any respect for him if he thinks that's acceptable

CanofCant · 08/07/2021 22:34

Also, fuck him for telling you that you are unreasonable and making you doubt yourself! Is this your first child together? He has no fucking clue. He does know that he will have to be on hand to care for you and your child as you recover from surgery?

Palavah · 08/07/2021 22:36

Why is he going to Liverpool? They're not playing there.... Surely his mates can come to him?

LaLaLand888 · 08/07/2021 22:42

YANBU 100%. Less than 2 days until his child's birth in the middle of a pandemic and he's leaving his heavily pregnant partner alone to watch football 45mins away when the game isn't even there???? WTF?

I'd tell him that if he goes, he shouldn't bother coming back. You have one baby to take care of, you don't need another one.

mayblossominapril · 08/07/2021 22:44

2 days before my planned cs I was busy pushing the baby out! He can stay at home and watch the match. It might be another 25 years before England play in a major final again but he’ll never have the chance to see his child born again!

Menora · 08/07/2021 22:45

No hold on, you cannot do a PCR then go out!

Teacupsandtoast · 08/07/2021 22:47

If he goes out to the pub, he'll be coming back with covid. What happens when he has to self isolate, you can't drive, he has to stay in a different room to you and baby, and can't help at all....does he think football is really worth missing two weeks of his brand new baby's life?

rosalie11 · 08/07/2021 22:47

Y a n b u

Because clearly he has a habit of being an annoying hung over person who ruins sish the next day

Menora · 08/07/2021 22:50

Look in all honestly he is clearly planning on having a PCR then going out again. After surgery you and newborn will be vulnerable to infections without the threat of COVID. He can’t go to the hospital with you, he has to isolate from his PCR test with you, or leave you alone to isolate until you are clear (which for me, who had an abdominal hysterectomy last month similar to csection was 3 days before and 7 days after!)

CMSdividend · 08/07/2021 22:53

You have to isolate after PCR, DD had surgery recently and we had to isolate before the test and after. All in all 10 days isolation prior to surgery.

CheddarGorge · 08/07/2021 22:56

@Menora

No hold on, you cannot do a PCR then go out!
This!!

He can't have a PCR on Sunday morning and then go out Sunday evening. What an idiot. Sounds like he cares more about football than he does you

doodleygirl · 08/07/2021 22:57

Such low standards for so many people.

YANBU your DP should be taking care of you and your needs, he is a lowlife.

GalaxyGirl24 · 08/07/2021 22:59

YANBU. Don't care how special this football is, the imminent birth of his child tops it.

You are preparing for an operation. Not to mention you will both have a baby soon! He needs to be helping you mentally prepare I think! That's what I would expect

greenlynx · 08/07/2021 23:00

How can he have test and the morning and then big outing in the evening? Does he want your caesarean to be rescheduled?

Teacupsandtoast · 08/07/2021 23:02

And I suspect the hospital will be asking all partners attending for elective births if they've isolated since their PCR - he may well be refused entry to the hospital. I'd phone the hospital tomorrow and ask so you have it officially from them so he can stfu

DishingOutDone · 08/07/2021 23:03

What a dickhead. Doing his head in? I'd be kicking his balls in. Sorry you have to put up with this neanderthal.

FromageRay · 08/07/2021 23:05

Has he not understood that you both need to self isolate between your tests and your admission?

Menora · 08/07/2021 23:05

@FromageRay

Has he not understood that you both need to self isolate between your tests and your admission?
No because it’s FOOTBALL 😂
PerveenMistry · 08/07/2021 23:21

@Teacupsandtoast

And I suspect the hospital will be asking all partners attending for elective births if they've isolated since their PCR - he may well be refused entry to the hospital. I'd phone the hospital tomorrow and ask so you have it officially from them so he can stfu

Yes, definitely this.

Foobydoo · 08/07/2021 23:26

@FromageRay

Has he not understood that you both need to self isolate between your tests and your admission?
This, he either needs to isolate or you need to find a different birth partner. It isn't just that him failing to isolate will put you and your baby at risk; what about the other people in the hospital he could come into contact with who may be CEV or have babies in nicu who will be vulnerable to infection?
MrsBobDylan · 08/07/2021 23:43

Oh dear, I think you need to ready up for parenting with the selfish man.

He isn't listening to your concerns and is shutting you down by saying you are 'going on'.

He wants to watch the football and the fact you are about to undergo surgery and bring his child into the world, seems very much secondary to his 'need' to watch England play, drink beer and treat himself to a two day hangover.

The C Section will be fine (I've had 3) but the big useless man baby, not fine at all. Sorry op.

BackforGood · 08/07/2021 23:45

I voted YANBU, but actually, YABU to be 'happy' with him going at all.

You are doing the PCR to show neither of you have COVID before going into hospital. He can't then go out into a massive crowd where, with the best will in the world, no-one is going to be social distancing or thinking about how to avoid contact.

Plus, we presume you are close to (or past) your due date, so you might go into labour on Sunday anyway.

I love football.
I am very excited for Sunday.
(Though not for me) I understand the desire to watch the match with your mates
BUT this makes no sense whatsoever.
Once he has taken the PCR on Sunday morning, then you both should be isolating. He needs to watch the match at home.

hawkehurstgang · 08/07/2021 23:45

Ha! 2 day hangovers ARE a thing! What a wholesome life the PP who said they're not must lead Grin misses point of thread

Remoulade · 08/07/2021 23:49

@DishingOutDone

What a dickhead. Doing his head in? I'd be kicking his balls in. Sorry you have to put up with this neanderthal.
This.

Is there nothing at all in this world that is more important than fucking football to these men?

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