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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thoughts on baby in nursery at 8 months?

304 replies

babyblues21 · 08/07/2021 20:51

Just that really. My baby will be in nursery from this age and I'm struggling with the idea. Any experiences, either positive or negative? Would a childminder be a better option at this age so my baby has more 1:1 care?

OP posts:
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5
Santanomore · 08/07/2021 21:16

@shouldistop

Do child minders not have the same child to adult ratio as nurseries? After seeing many many childminders completely ignore crying babies in their care I wouldn't leave one of my children with one. Choose a small nursery who follow attachment led care if possible.
Yes, but generally because there is only one childminder, there is generally only one baby under one.

My DS when to a childminder at 6 months old. He was fine. My advice is to get a CM who doesn't look after their own kids as well. I've used nursery and CM and much prefer our CM.

rooarsome · 08/07/2021 21:16

DD was in at 10 months and DS1 6 months full
time out of necessity. DS2 will be 8 months.
My older 2 are thriving and loved nursery.

Notonthestairs · 08/07/2021 21:16

You are not a shitty mother. I've got a list as long as my arm as to the times I've failed as a parent - I'm still a good parent. Try to be kinder to yourself.

A good childcare provider can be wonderful.
Shop around, visit nurseries and childminders - the right one will be out there.

RunningFromInsanity · 08/07/2021 21:16

I actually find that those who were in nursery from a younger age are much more independent and happy to go to school etc.

Plus nursery can help them develop skills, monitor their progress and give them the opportunity to play with other children, all of which are really important.

TheDevils · 08/07/2021 21:17

DS went part time at 6 months and full time at 10month. He thrived.
He's now 7 and still talks fondly about his 'first school'.

It's the norm to use childcare from around 8 months in my social circle and all the kids are perfectly fine!

Twelvetimestwo · 08/07/2021 21:17

Lucinda sounds like Gemma Collins

ghostyslovesheets · 08/07/2021 21:17

People who are miserable, unhappy with their own lives and choices or just lack kindness and empathy love to make other people feel bad - don;t let them

Sceptre86 · 08/07/2021 21:18

My dd went at 10 months and I too found it hard but I had to get back to work for a while before I had my ds (got pregnant on maternity leave). I don't think she suffered negatively as a result.

You have to do what is best for you and your family. Ignore posters like the one who's comments were deleted, clearly an arse of epic proportions!

My ds went to nursery aged 1 as will the current baby I am expecting. Unless we win the lotto I need to work to pay bills. I do work part time but circumstances allow that for me. Don't feel guilty, I'm sure you've spent a lot of time and effort in choosing a great nursery for your lo x

Original poster
babyblues21 · 08/07/2021 21:18

[quote ItsAllBlahBlahBlah]@Bagheera222 what an absolute arsehole you are. Crawl back into your pit and learn to be a god damn human being. Being a new mum is horrendously difficult and your pathetic bullying comments just show you have absolutely no idea what it takes. Wise up.

OP, your baby will be absolutely fine, I promise you. There are lots of people I know that returned to work after three months. You have no reason to feel guilty. You will treasure and love every minute with your baby. Hold your head up and be proud of what you have achieved. Asking the question shows how much you care about your daughter.[/quote]
Thank you x

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 08/07/2021 21:18

DTs in part time from 6 months. No regrets and they are happy, confident teenagers now.

baldafrique · 08/07/2021 21:19

Bagheera probably hasnt had a job in her life so doesnt get the concept of needing to get back to work. Scrote.

Zari29 · 08/07/2021 21:19

Hi op.Baby will be ok. I can imagine how difficult it is to put her in someone else's care , but she will adjust and so will you. If you really feel uncomfortable you could try a childminder till you feel she is ready for a bigger setting?

NeverForgetYourDreams · 08/07/2021 21:19

Mine went from 3 months. Don't get me wrong it was rough but he loved it.

PloddingAlongHere · 08/07/2021 21:19

My dd started at 8 months, She went in fine! With COVID I wasn't even allowed in, many people told me it was better for her to start younger as she can't miss me yet any by the time she can has already made good attachments to the nursery ladies! It's impossible not to feel guilty but it's normal and she'll be fine! Shes's 18 months now and runs in without looking back!

idontlikealdi · 08/07/2021 21:20

At her age I'd go for nursery over childminder. She will be fine!

dopeyduck · 08/07/2021 21:20

I know you're had lots of positive comments so I hope that's helped.

I, like you, had to return to work full time even though I'd have loved to stay at home. I've really really struggled with this and the guilt is awful.

However that's on me - my little boy is happy, he whinges a bit occasionally as I leave as he'd rather I didn't go but he's literally waving at the window smiling before I'm in the car.

Can I please just tell you that, he still loves me, I'm still his mum, we're closer than ever, he absolutely knows I will always, always come back and he has not been abandoned, he knows he's loved, we make the most of time we have together when I'm not working.

Some days are harder than others but please be kind to yourself. Your baby will be fine, your bond is stronger than temporary separation.

baldafrique · 08/07/2021 21:21

Your baby will be totally fine OP :) 8 months is really normal.

FindYourPorpoise · 08/07/2021 21:21

@babyblues21

It can be a sensitive subject and I think some people just enjoy finding vulnerabilities in others and attacking them.

My DS started at 9 months and I won't lie, I found the transition really hard but he was fine and has thrived. He's 2.5 now really enjoys going.

It is daunting and if you're doing it out of financial necessity rather than because you really want to get back to work then it can be hard but you will be fine.

AdaFuckingShelby · 08/07/2021 21:22

OP I didn't see the vile post but really it's not worth worrying about. Nastiness is just a pathetic attempt to feel superior.
My 2 were both in nursery from 6 months and they're absolutely fine. Most of my colleagues are in similar positions. Good for you for providing a positive role model as a working mum for your DC. Flowers

baldafrique · 08/07/2021 21:23

I agree, you're an amazing role model OP :)

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 08/07/2021 21:23

Always remember OP that babies going into care at 3 months is pretty standard in the USA, where mat leave is pitiful.

00100001 · 08/07/2021 21:25

@July2mebabywouldJuly2me

5 days is too much. Can you and your partner not find away round this?
No it's not.
baldafrique · 08/07/2021 21:26

5 days is normal for working mums with careers ffs

Snooks1971 · 08/07/2021 21:26

Pathetic, vile and bullying post from @Bagheera222 who hasn’t even returned to apologise.

Original poster
babyblues21 · 08/07/2021 21:27

@dopeyduck

I know you're had lots of positive comments so I hope that's helped.

I, like you, had to return to work full time even though I'd have loved to stay at home. I've really really struggled with this and the guilt is awful.

However that's on me - my little boy is happy, he whinges a bit occasionally as I leave as he'd rather I didn't go but he's literally waving at the window smiling before I'm in the car.

Can I please just tell you that, he still loves me, I'm still his mum, we're closer than ever, he absolutely knows I will always, always come back and he has not been abandoned, he knows he's loved, we make the most of time we have together when I'm not working.

Some days are harder than others but please be kind to yourself. Your baby will be fine, your bond is stronger than temporary separation.

Thank you so much. I'm going to try and remember your last sentence "our bond is stronger than temporary separation". That helps.

OP posts: