Thoughts on baby in nursery at 8 months?

[babyblues21]

Just that really. My baby will be in nursery from this age and I'm struggling with the idea. Any experiences, either positive or negative? Would a childminder be a better option at this age so my baby has more 1:1 care?

@ghostyslovesheets

Bagheera is trolling - please don;t let them upset you - I've reported that comment - it's only been made to upset and cause a reaction

Well it worked.
It's played right into the worst of my PND.

@babyblues21

I'm sorry sorry to hear about your PND. Any thread about childcare always attracts a few nasty posters, please ignore them.

Your daughter will be fine.

OP don't let one troll derail you.

Sorry op on didn't see your "up date"
So you want a break? In that case, why not just arrange a few hours to have that set break to look forward too?

People who leave comments like that are miserable and hurting, so they try to hurt others from behind the computer screen. No happy, well balanced person would add that senseless comment. Therefore it's not worth your time or consideration.

[quote Ohdoleavemealone]@Bagheera222 what a dick to head to say! What if she cannot afford to have more than 8 months off? What if she or her partner was made redundant unexpectedly and she has to back to work early?
What if she has found maternity mentally taxing and lonely and needs some adult interaction? [/quote]

We can't afford any more than 8 months - we saved to cover this amount of time. I'd love to have more time off with her

OP please ignore that idiot poster. My DD was in nursery at 5 months and honestly there was no issue at all. She loved it and was very happy! I didn’t send my DS until he was 2 and I would definitely say sending them in as a baby was much easier for them to adjust. Honestly it will be absolutely fine for both you are your LO

@babyblues21

I don't need that shit, I'm struggling emotionally enough as it is

Then hide the thread, OP.

@July2mebabywouldJuly2me

5 days is too much. Can you and your partner not find away round this?

5 days isn't too much if that's what works for the family. It's never been a problem for us. We both work Monday-Friday. In the beginning grandparents helped out but it was too much for them and we feel happier with her in nursery.

@Bagheera222 are you saying only women who are sahm should be having children? Do you live in the real world?

@Lemonmelonsun

Sorry op on didn't see your "up date" So you want a break? In that case, why not just arrange a few hours to have that set break to look forward too?

I didn't say I wanted a break?

@July2mebabywouldJuly2me

5 days is too much. Can you and your partner not find away round this?

Why is it too much?

5 days wasn’t too much for us OP. Honestly, do what you need to do and as a PP said it tends to be harder than us than it is them. Are you getting help for you PND?

Ignore that nasty cow op
People go back to work earlier than 8 months and there is nothing wrong with continuing a career and using childcare

@Bagheera222 that has to be the most unhelpful comment possible! It is entirely reasonable for people to want children and a career, and putting a baby into nursery at 8 months is not 'as soon as possible'. My DCs went to nursery from 6 months, when I went back to work 4 days a week. I discovered that as much as loved my children, I did not enjoy being a full time SAHM. They both absolutely loved nursery, and are now perfectly happy well adjusted teens. On the other hand, I know of others who were kept at home with their mums until school, and had all sorts of difficulties adjusting to not being the sole focus of attention. Being a mum causes enough feelings of guilt, without other mums being critical of their decisions.

@Maddiemademe

5 days wasn’t too much for us OP. Honestly, do what you need to do and as a PP said it tends to be harder than us than it is them. Are you getting help for you PND?

Yes. I have been under the crisis team, I'm undergoing therapy, and I also endured a frightening admission to a mother and baby unit. I have a lot of guilt about a lot do things and I feel generally like a shitty mother. So actually I probably shouldn't have made this thread because it's caused a lot of horrible stuff to resurface.

@Cosybelles

People who leave comments like that are miserable and hurting, so they try to hurt others from behind the computer screen. No happy, well balanced person would add that senseless comment. Therefore it's not worth your time or consideration.

Thank you x

Childminder imo. I worked in various nurseries. They were lovely, but not for that age. Home from home environment is my preference.

@Bagheera222 what an absolute arsehole you are. Crawl back into your pit and learn to be a god damn human being. Being a new mum is horrendously difficult and your pathetic bullying comments just show you have absolutely no idea what it takes. Wise up.

OP, your baby will be absolutely fine, I promise you. There are lots of people I know that returned to work after three months. You have no reason to feel guilty. You will treasure and love every minute with your baby. Hold your head up and be proud of what you have achieved. Asking the question shows how much you care about your daughter.

[quote newmumfeb21]@Bagheera222 I've reported this. How dare you. [/quote]

Thanks for that x

My children started at 12 months and 9 months. I shortened my mat leave for DD as I felt DS had struggled more being a bit older and more clingy. She did settle much quicker. It didn’t affect mine at all negatively, they are 13 & 17 now. Both have just vague memories of nursery. It made transition to school easier I think doing the long days at nursery. DS was only 4 when he started school so youngest in class but he was more than ready. He thrived and has always been very academic and is applying to Cambridge in the Autumn. So I think the structure of nursery was a good transition to school. I was never keen on a childminder really, I wanted the structure a nursery offers, set activities and plenty of other children to play with. We all feel guilty but don’t, as I say my children barely remember being there, they would have barely remembered me taking a career break had I been able to afford it. So glad I didn’t!!

Remember havimg 9-12 off on mat leave is a new thing and a luxury! A lot of us on here only got 6 months mat leave. My son was 2 weeks late and I had to finish work at 38 weeks so I was back at work when he was 5 months old. Was the norm 15+ years ago...

[quote FindYourPorpoise]@babyblues21

I'm sorry sorry to hear about your PND. Any thread about childcare always attracts a few nasty posters, please ignore them.

Your daughter will be fine. [/quote]

What is it about childcare that attracts nasty people? I don't even get it

Fwiw I use a childminder as I found it a more homely environment. My boys love it. It beats me up every day they aren't with me but I am doing what I can, and thats putting food in their bellies and spoiling them rotton when I can. I'm not perfect. All parents survive to one extent or another but the little ones make it worth it.

Stay strong OP.