Thoughts on baby in nursery at 8 months?

[babyblues21]

Just that really. My baby will be in nursery from this age and I'm struggling with the idea. Any experiences, either positive or negative? Would a childminder be a better option at this age so my baby has more 1:1 care?

Don’t listen to all the nasty people on here. I’m sorry you’re suffering with PND. I sent my baby to nursery full time (5 days a week) and for the first two weeks cried everyday thinking about what a bad mother I was. But after DD settled I realised I was trying to fit a mould that wasn’t me. Little one loves nursery and gets to experience things I wouldn’t even be able to think up. She waves bye bye (13 months now) and is excited to see me when I pick her up. I’m a better parent now too as my mental health has improved greatly since going back to work. You need to do what’s best and realise that you have many years when they’ll need you more and you can always change the settings to what suits. At this time- little one needs someone to baby sit her and entertain her (let’s be honest) and as my career progresses I can hopefully then have More flexibility and can be there for her in her older years. Hugs. You’ll be judged no matter what choice you make but remember your little one knows who you are and loves you, no matter what. They also know you love them and the bond between you won’t suffer (this is coming from someone who’s mother lived in a different country during by baby years and yet I’ve got the same bond as everyone else; as close as any mother and daughter). X

@babyblues21 When looking at nurseries the most important thing to look out for is a high staff turnover. Make sure that most of the staff have been there for a good amount of time. Ask management how many of the staff have been there for at least 2 years and ask how many of the staff are new. Talk to the practitioners and ask them how long they have been key staff members for some of their babies. Another good tip is to read google reviews on the nursery and to search their name on Facebook. Also, try and avoid nurseries with lots of branches. They are mostly in it for the money. Small independent nurseries are more likely to be more nurturing. Don’t go on Ofsted reports alone, they are not always very accurate. The nursery I was at was rated good for years before they were caught out! Lastly, if there is any way you can meet the owner of the nursery then do it. I know for sure that if people had met the owner of the nursery I worked at before they enrolled their children they would’ve run a mile. She was a horrible woman. Had a degree in business, drove a fancy Range Rover, was as plastic as a barbie doll and clearly didn’t give a damn about the children at her nurseries or her staff for that matter. She had a terrible energy about her and was the biggest bully I’ve ever met. She didn’t have a nurturing bone in her body.

Baby will be fine I'm sure I was in there from 6 weeks old and remember nothing (obviously) and would say I'm a well rounded human being that hasn't been scarred! My eldest went to a childminder for a bit. The positives were it was cheaper, would pick up from pre school, home from home environment, known to the area, downsides were there were younger children (a baby in particular) who cried a lot and my daughter than cried as she didn't like the noise or understand plus you don't really know who is coming in and out of the house and whether tv is being used etc.
I'm looking at both nursery and childminder for my 1 year old and will decide.
I'll be honest I don't have the sanity to be a stay at home mum I need another purpose to get up for and dress up in nice clothes every now and again.
Good luck

My eldest went to nursery at 9 months and my daughter will start in August also 9 months. Your baby will be absolutely fine at nursery. My eldest went full time until January this year and now goes 3 full days a week 8-5. His sister will do the same.

My eldest went to nursery at 8 months and it was fine. I honestly think I suffered more from the separation than him.

As well as loving and caring for your baby, you have a duty to house, clothe and feed her, which you won't be able to do unless you work.

Keep reminding yourself that you are caring for her by working.

Ahh the baby is only 3 months. Honestly, you will probably feel different in 6 months time, your baby will be different too - much bigger, stronger, active. Nursery will be amazing for them, like it was for mine. I was the same at 3 months, couldn’t even imagine going back to work, but it all fell into place and it will for you too.

@PippaGrace I had exactly the same experience as you described in several places. I really disliked how disingenuous it was. Also interestingly there was a thread on mn recently where people were asked why they wouldn't work in nurseries; low pay was obvs quoted a lot understandably and almost every second post commented on the staff being just out of school teenagers, bored workers , no ambition overwhelmingly negative conoctaions whereas on every thread where 99.9 percent of posters are very very positive about nurseries for small children like this one the workers are all amazing etc. I'm not saying they aren't but I don't understand how the description is so at odds.
Either way I think its tough on parents these days and a pity it isn't more balanced.

@Minionbums

Ahh the baby is only 3 months. Honestly, you will probably feel different in 6 months time, your baby will be different too - much bigger, stronger, active. Nursery will be amazing for them, like it was for mine. I was the same at 3 months, couldn’t even imagine going back to work, but it all fell into place and it will for you too.

Thank you. Maybe I'm just worrying a bit too soon 🙈

[quote PippaGrace]@babyblues21 When looking at nurseries the most important thing to look out for is a high staff turnover. Make sure that most of the staff have been there for a good amount of time. Ask management how many of the staff have been there for at least 2 years and ask how many of the staff are new. Talk to the practitioners and ask them how long they have been key staff members for some of their babies. Another good tip is to read google reviews on the nursery and to search their name on Facebook. Also, try and avoid nurseries with lots of branches. They are mostly in it for the money. Small independent nurseries are more likely to be more nurturing. Don’t go on Ofsted reports alone, they are not always very accurate. The nursery I was at was rated good for years before they were caught out! Lastly, if there is any way you can meet the owner of the nursery then do it. I know for sure that if people had met the owner of the nursery I worked at before they enrolled their children they would’ve run a mile. She was a horrible woman. Had a degree in business, drove a fancy Range Rover, was as plastic as a barbie doll and clearly didn’t give a damn about the children at her nurseries or her staff for that matter. She had a terrible energy about her and was the biggest bully I’ve ever met. She didn’t have a nurturing bone in her body.[/quote]

Thanks. Well I've spoken over the phone to the manager and she sounded so lovely and warm. So first impressions good. Obviously I plan to visit in the next few months too and get a feel for it and ask those sorts of questions etc.

Honestly op I'm not here to make you feel bad but as I work in a nursery I would definitely say use a childminder.
The good nurseries are few and far between. As others have said a lot of things are done for show. Most nurseries have high staff turnover because the pay is crap and they use it as a stepping stone till they can get something better.
Anything can be staged for a few photos.

However I would say from 2-3 children enjoy the nursery setting more but I don't recommend it for children under 2.

I found personally that I was more comfortable leaving my child with a childminder. I knew they could be more flexible with her routine and she only had my LO and one other child a similar age. I thought even if the adult to child ratio was the same as a nursery I thought that the environment was a lot calmer and less overwhelming. I moved to a nursery at an older age.

I'd go with childminder as well. Also a former nursery nurse in a good and popular nursery. I wouldn't put a baby that young in nursery.

OK so the reason for specifically wanting to go with this nursery is that it's on my work site so I'll be right next to my baby - I work in a hospital and this nursery is on site specifically for NHS staff (and also discounted for staff). It has excellent Ofsted report. But yes - I will definitely visit first and get a feel for it etc.

@babyblues21

OK so the reason for specifically wanting to go with this nursery is that it's on my work site so I'll be right next to my baby - I work in a hospital and this nursery is on site specifically for NHS staff (and also discounted for staff). It has excellent Ofsted report. But yes - I will definitely visit first and get a feel for it etc.

OP I had my baby at a nursery that was on a hospital site. It had a really big capacity to cater for the demand. I think a big capacity is fine for older children, but for young babies its not great. Ive moved my son to a nursery that has half the capacity and its clear my son is way more settled there. I can tell by his sleep. Hes been at this new nursery for 7 months now and since two of my friends have pulled their babies out of the old one.

Really think about convenience vs setting.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

Yes I appreciate what you're saying. This place has great reviews though and I have colleagues whose little ones go there, who speak highly of it. But I will give it some more thought definitely

The capacity is 96 children according to their website

[quote babyblues21]@Letsallscreamatthesistene

Yes I appreciate what you're saying. This place has great reviews though and I have colleagues whose little ones go there, who speak highly of it. But I will give it some more thought definitely [/quote]
Yes this one was the same. Great google reviews and colleagues kids went there. What I didnt appreciate is the colleagues children were older.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

Yeah. My colleagues children are 2-3 age group too. But I think at least one of them has been there since a baby. I'm starting to doubt it all now...

[quote babyblues21]@Letsallscreamatthesistene

Yeah. My colleagues children are 2-3 age group too. But I think at least one of them has been there since a baby. I'm starting to doubt it all now... [/quote]
Dont doubt it, just look around for the right setting. Find out how many babies are in the baby room at any one time, and what age the baby room actually is. Im convinced nursery has been great for my son, I just wished id looked around a bit more first.

96 seems huge to me.

Ds1 went to a nursery with only 6 babies in the baby room and 15 toddlers.

His pre school only had 24 at a time.

@shouldistop

96 seems huge to me.

Ds1 went to a nursery with only 6 babies in the baby room and 15 toddlers.

His pre school only had 24 at a time.

It's on a large hospital site. Total number of staff is listed as 32. Is that a good ratio? I'm not sure ...

This is a summary of online reviews from daynurseries.co.uk

Maximum of 12 in the rooms my baby would be starting off in...

12 isn't too bad I suppose. Id check if the same remain the same or if they swap around rooms.