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Original poster

Words and phrases that confused you as a child at school - or am I the only one?

317 replies

FortunesFave · 08/07/2021 12:39

I clearly remember thinking 'what?" whenever the teacher mentioned "The Apparatus" during PE.

I didn't know what apparatus was! This was in primary school. She'd shout to the group of us in the 'big hall' "Don't touch the apparatus!" during the times when we were allowed to run around aimlessly during "PE lessons"

Then there was the mysterious "Cloakroom" I couldn't work out if this was a euphemism for toilets or if they meant the tiny bit of the corridor where we hung our coats.

Still not sure. Was I a lone weirdo who didn't understand basic stuff?

OP posts:
Original poster
FortunesFave · 08/07/2021 13:30

What? Nobody?

OP posts:
TheSlayer · 08/07/2021 13:49

I remember at primary school there was a sign in the loos saying Now wash your hands.
I don't know if it was the way it was laid out or something but I interpreted it with the emphasis on the NOW.
As in hullahoops, Now baked not fried.
So in my head there was a mythical time where people didn't wash their hands and the school had passed a new hand washing rule.

I'm a teacher now and I regularly get asked what simple words mean.

SamanthaJayne4 · 08/07/2021 13:50

I was often told when 6 to use my common sense. Had no idea what that meant!

TheSlayer · 08/07/2021 13:50

I also had a friend who was scared of the loos because armitage shanks was written on the sinks.
She misread as sharks.

wizzywig · 08/07/2021 13:51

What's this? Scotch mist. Huh? Don't get it.

Treeballarae · 08/07/2021 13:55

Not quite the same, but I was an awkward child, tended to take the literal meaning from things so friends would say "see you later" and I'd say "no you won't" not understanding they just meant "cheerio".

Your PE comment also reminded me in PE no one ever explained the rules to netball, basketball, hockey etc but everyone seemed to know what they were doing so I was constantly shouted at for breaking the rules.

Maybe we were off sick the day everyone else were taught these things Grin

iamalighthouse · 08/07/2021 13:56

I don't understand the word "condone" I can't condone that. I never get whether it's good or bad.,even when I look it up. .its a total blind spot

GromblesofGrimbledon · 08/07/2021 13:58

@iamalighthouse

I don't understand the word "condone" I can't condone that. I never get whether it's good or bad.,even when I look it up. .its a total blind spot

Are you mixing it up with condemn?

ChristmasTree999 · 08/07/2021 13:58

If I yawned in front of someone and they would say ‘sorry - am I keeping you up?!’ I didn’t understand if I was supposed to say yes or no. I still don’t 🤣

dworky · 08/07/2021 13:59

Priceless. "It has no price, it must cost nothing".

BritInAus · 08/07/2021 14:00

When someone mentioned searching with a fine-tooth comb, I wondered why you'd need a comb to brush your teeth....

CatMuffin · 08/07/2021 14:02

Your PE comment also reminded me in PE no one ever explained the rules to netball, basketball, hockey etc but everyone seemed to know what they were doing so I was constantly shouted at for breaking the rules
Same! They seemed to expect that we'd been taught the rules at primary school or something and I hadn't. My mum said exactly the same thing. Forever getting told off for not knowing the rules. I suppose I could have tried to get hold of a book teaching me the rules but you don't necessarily think to do that at that age. I think PE teaching is better these days as my dds haven't had the same problem.
I did know what apparatus was as the teacher got these out for us to go on regularly from infant school. If you never got to go on them I can see it would be a bit mysterious

FizzyPink · 08/07/2021 14:02

We had a family friend who would ask the dog if he wanted to go and spend a penny.
I was so confused for years wondering how this dog knew about going into a shop and buying things Confused
I wasn’t even that young, probably about 10 when the penny dropped Grin

Original poster
FortunesFave · 08/07/2021 14:04

@Treeballarae

Not quite the same, but I was an awkward child, tended to take the literal meaning from things so friends would say "see you later" and I'd say "no you won't" not understanding they just meant "cheerio".

Your PE comment also reminded me in PE no one ever explained the rules to netball, basketball, hockey etc but everyone seemed to know what they were doing so I was constantly shouted at for breaking the rules.

Maybe we were off sick the day everyone else were taught these things Grin

Oh my GOD THIS! I never knew what to do in netball! Why did the others??
OP posts:
ThePontiacBandit · 08/07/2021 14:07

“It’s like teaching your granny to suck eggs”…why would my granny suck eggs?

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 08/07/2021 14:08

I wasnt even a child but after I had DS and my parents came to stay my Dad said he'd brought a bottle of whisky to wet the babys head. I'd NEVER heard that expression and honestly thought that he was planning on pouring whisky on my newborns head.

TheQueef · 08/07/2021 14:11

Processed cheese.
I'd read possessed.
Catholic school.
Didn't twig until about 15 so was studiously avoiding the demonic dairy HaloBlush

Original poster
FortunesFave · 08/07/2021 14:13

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale

I wasnt even a child but after I had DS and my parents came to stay my Dad said he'd brought a bottle of whisky to wet the babys head. I'd NEVER heard that expression and honestly thought that he was planning on pouring whisky on my newborns head.
Reminds me of the day I first took DD1 out in her pram around our village and people kept putting pound coins on the top of her pram cover. I was genuinely confused and then my Mum told me it stemmed from a very old custom (hundreds of years old) where people would cross a new baby's palm with silver...also known as "silvering the baby" It even happened on the bus a few times. Usually older people doing it.
OP posts:
Faranth · 08/07/2021 14:14

Your PE comment also reminded me in PE no one ever explained the rules to netball, basketball, hockey etc but everyone seemed to know what they were doing so I was constantly shouted at for breaking the rules

I was having just this conversation with DP the other day! We went to the same secondary school but several years apart. He was saying how great x and y PE teachers were, and I said they were awful, never actually taught us anything, just expected everyone to know the rules. He was in the county team for hockey, and had been taught all the rules at primary school. I always played GD in netball, I was shit at it, but I knew I was only allowed in the semi circle and I didn't have to worry about if I was 'travelling' with the ball or whatever it is, because no matter what I did I got yelled at.

Hockey they taught us how to use the stick, ball control etc, but not what the rules of the game are?! Then yelled at everyone all the time when we broke the mysterious rules. Surely there's a point where you think 'hang on, none of these 30 kids know what the fuck they're doing, perhaps they don't know the rules?' rather than they're all trying to cheat on purpose?!

And bloody gym - climb the rope. Sorry, what? How? I just used to jump a bit, grab on, and dangle for a few seconds. So did everyone else. I've still got no idea how you climb a rope (or indeed, why I'd want to!) other classes sometimes you'd see a kid climb all the way to the top, like magic.

So very weird that they didn't actually teach us anything. The main concern seemed to be forcing us to go in the communal shower.

SkepticalCat · 08/07/2021 14:14

I knew what 'apparatus' was as we used to cheer 'hooray, it's apparatus today' whilst filing past the hall on our way to our classrooms and seeing the apparatus set up for PE.

I do remember getting really confused with drawing margins on the left hand side of the paper. I remember hearing conversations where someone would say 'my left or yours?' and I understood that 'left' or 'right depended on the perspective of where each person was standing. I applied this logic to pieces of paper and remember twisting myself around in my seat to work out what 'left ' would be from the paper's perspective. I guess I drew the margin on the wrong side of the paper at least once, but I don't recall being corrected.

And also I wrote a story titled 'what I want to do when I leave school' in primary and described going to the sweetshop and park. We lived in the opposite direction from said sweetshop and park, so rarely went after school.

Turns out everyone else wrote about wanting to be nurses, or firefighters, or footballers, or singers.

Original poster
FortunesFave · 08/07/2021 14:17

@Faranth

Your PE comment also reminded me in PE no one ever explained the rules to netball, basketball, hockey etc but everyone seemed to know what they were doing so I was constantly shouted at for breaking the rules

I was having just this conversation with DP the other day! We went to the same secondary school but several years apart. He was saying how great x and y PE teachers were, and I said they were awful, never actually taught us anything, just expected everyone to know the rules. He was in the county team for hockey, and had been taught all the rules at primary school. I always played GD in netball, I was shit at it, but I knew I was only allowed in the semi circle and I didn't have to worry about if I was 'travelling' with the ball or whatever it is, because no matter what I did I got yelled at.

Hockey they taught us how to use the stick, ball control etc, but not what the rules of the game are?! Then yelled at everyone all the time when we broke the mysterious rules. Surely there's a point where you think 'hang on, none of these 30 kids know what the fuck they're doing, perhaps they don't know the rules?' rather than they're all trying to cheat on purpose?!

And bloody gym - climb the rope. Sorry, what? How? I just used to jump a bit, grab on, and dangle for a few seconds. So did everyone else. I've still got no idea how you climb a rope (or indeed, why I'd want to!) other classes sometimes you'd see a kid climb all the way to the top, like magic.

So very weird that they didn't actually teach us anything. The main concern seemed to be forcing us to go in the communal shower.

I was GD too! Maybe that was easier and they knew it so they'd put us no-hopers there!
OP posts:
Youdiditanyway · 08/07/2021 14:17

Hated the apparatus, I was always too chicken to jump off the high ones and found it embarrassing. Also hated climbing up the thing on the wall, it hurt my hands. Think I was a bit of a wuss Grin.

Used to hate being told to drop my attitude, I honestly had no idea what it meant.

KrakowDawn · 08/07/2021 14:19

@wizzywig

What's this? Scotch mist. Huh? Don't get it.
When I heard this (in infant 2) I linked it in my head to scotch tape (because there was a big roll in a dispenser on the teacher's desk!) and assumed it was something to do with the sticky marks left behind when you pull sellotape off something Grin
NotNowPlzz · 08/07/2021 14:21

Haha I was also GD and useless so that theory bears out. Grin

Marmaladee · 08/07/2021 14:22

I thought dessert sauce was desert sauce. We had pudding and so I didn't know the word dessert, so I just thought it was a sauce from the desert!