Words and phrases that confused you as a child at school - or am I the only one?

[FortunesFave]

I clearly remember thinking 'what?" whenever the teacher mentioned "The Apparatus" during PE.

I didn't know what apparatus was! This was in primary school. She'd shout to the group of us in the 'big hall' "Don't touch the apparatus!" during the times when we were allowed to run around aimlessly during "PE lessons"

Then there was the mysterious "Cloakroom" I couldn't work out if this was a euphemism for toilets or if they meant the tiny bit of the corridor where we hung our coats.

Still not sure. Was I a lone weirdo who didn't understand basic stuff?

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias

That would indeed be a sight to see.

Several dozen ducks going hell for leather across the pond elbowing, or more correctly given that they're ducks, winging, each other out of the way.

Wonderful.

Our Village Show has ferret racing with real ferrets — they go through bits of drainpipe and things. My DB's girlfriend was visiting from London, and was shocked when she saw them. She thought we'd been pulling her leg when we told her it was one of the stalls!

I'm not going to admit how old I was when I realised that a wide or narrow-ruled margin was called that because you drew it with a ruler, rather than the teacher had "ruled" it had to be a certain width.

I've only realised recently (as an adult who has been an adult for quite while, now) that the greater and lesser spotted woodpeckers aren't named so due to their proliferation of spots.

I remember reading food packets and they would say ‘this product should reach you in perfect condition’. And remember thinking why they don’t give ‘said’ product to all the ill people in hospital … to make them better …’in perfect condition’ and being really confused as to how a bag of crisps could get rid of your cold ….

Took me a few years ….!

@TheFoundations

I've only realised recently (as an adult who has been an adult for quite while, now) that the greater and lesser spotted woodpeckers aren't named so due to their proliferation of spots.

Well you learn something new every day Genuinely hadn't realised that until I read your post

As A child my grandmother used to say “I can’t hear you” whenever I forget to say “please”. So asking for a drink would lead me into repeating my self over and over again, shouting, screaming. My mum used to tell me to stop shouting. I would get very cross and say “she can’t hear me!” And I would be in tears.

Also netball rules. I always used to think that the PE teachers would make up the rules as they went along! “Contact! You went within 3 yards of that person with the ball, whilst standing on one leg on a Wednesday afternoon so you need to give the ball to Vicky and then clean out the PE cupboard. It’s on the rulebook!”

I used to think until I was about 30 that in the commons when they said eyes to the right nose to the left. That when MPs voted they had to look right to vote or put their noses left.

I didn't realise it was aye and no and they actually physically go through voting sides.🙈

@Rosegoldfan

I used to think until I was about 30 that in the commons when they said eyes to the right nose to the left. That when MPs voted they had to look right to vote or put their noses left.

I didn't realise it was aye and no and they actually physically go through voting sides.🙈

I've always thought this was an amazing example of the ridiculousness of tradition. They must have originally started using this phrase because it sounded silly and confusing, mustn't they? Such ridiculousness in such a serious context. Makes it all feel like a bit of a joke - like they should all be in party hats while they do it.

7 year old me thought the lyrics to "every time you go" by Paul Young was, "you take a piece of meat with you" my dad ripped the piss out of me regularly asking me whether I thought it was beef chicken or turkey they were taking

At primary school being told not to sit on the radiator (those big wide old fashioned ones) because you would get piles. Piles of what?

@Rosegoldfan

I used to think until I was about 30 that in the commons when they said eyes to the right nose to the left. That when MPs voted they had to look right to vote or put their noses left.

I didn't realise it was aye and no and they actually physically go through voting sides.🙈

I thought this until last year. I'm 42

@careerchangeperhaps
Glad I am not the only one. My husband made me feel so daft. He was laughing for ages.

When my DM told me I would be having 'free school meals' I really didn't want 3 dinners. Just couldn't understand no matter how it was explained. I was only 5 though. Does that excuse it? 😁

My mom told us that when my brother was in Reception she told him that they were breaking up for the holidays and he became hysterical because he thought his arms and legs were going to drop off.

not school, but the community centre where I did judo had signs in the loos saying not to flush towels in the toilets.
I thought it meant toilet paper, not knowing anything about sanitary towels.

I still cringe at this one - when my mum met my first friend at primary school, said later that I hadn't mentioned my friend was 'coloured' (not racist, early 60's, that was the term in common use, friend was probably the only black child in the school).
I asked what that meant - was told she had a darker skin because her family had once lived in a hot country, so it was to protect her from burning in the sun.
I went into school the next day and put her hand on a hot radiator to explain it to her.

Much discussion of guerillas on the news when I was small... In my mind, groups of large primates dressed in camo with guns, storming planes.

I though the same.

I was also unclear on how the monks in brown habits mentioned in "Robin Hood" were related to monkeys.

Angela Rippon had a special way of pronouncing 'guerilla'.

@eddiemairswife

Angela Rippon had a special way of pronouncing 'guerilla'.

Yes, she did! Like 'gerilla' whilst smiling

@eddiemairswife

Angela Rippon had a special way of pronouncing 'guerilla'.

Also 'Mugabe', which she uttered in a sort of gutteral bark.

i am lol at having dolls called "pat pending"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and armitage sharks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ramona quimby being told "sit here for the present" by miss binney. and then she never got a present.

@GromblesofGrimbledon

Oh I remember one. Fits with my name too! When I was a kid I never understood the theme tune to the Wombles.

The wombles of Wimbledon Common are we...

In my head it was

The wombles of Wimbledon, common are we...

I had heard of Wimbledon but I only knew "common" to mean lots of something. I thought it meant there where loads of wombles everywhere. Common or garden wombles. Then when Pulp's song "common people" was in the charts I thought it meant the wombles were common because they were scruffy and picked up litter to build their houses.

You are not alone on that one.

I spent my childhood thinking 'well, it's nothing to brag about now, is it'

Having to do 'games' at primary school I was v v v disappointed to discover they didn't mean Cluedo etc.