Words and phrases that confused you as a child at school - or am I the only one?

[FortunesFave]

I clearly remember thinking 'what?" whenever the teacher mentioned "The Apparatus" during PE.

I didn't know what apparatus was! This was in primary school. She'd shout to the group of us in the 'big hall' "Don't touch the apparatus!" during the times when we were allowed to run around aimlessly during "PE lessons"

Then there was the mysterious "Cloakroom" I couldn't work out if this was a euphemism for toilets or if they meant the tiny bit of the corridor where we hung our coats.

Still not sure. Was I a lone weirdo who didn't understand basic stuff?

You know things from your past that wake you up at 3am in a sweating ball of cringe?

I can't remember exactly which school year I was in (Scottish, so 1st/maybe 2nd year of secondary school - roughly about 12), but it was an early algebra lesson, when the teacher was explaining 2 root 2 (say it out loud).

I started sniggering and the teacher very haughtily demanded to know what I was laughing about.

This, of course, made it worse, and I descended into a hopeless giggling mess muttering something about trumpets while the teacher and the rest of the class stared on, stony-faced.

I am now an information systems director and use algorithms and logic-based language on a daily basis, so clearly I wasn't that traumatised.

Took me ages to work out what “nevergets” were and why people would want them

I never understood why all the TOILET signs were missing the I.

Even when it was explained to me that it was TO LET, I still didn't understand what that meant.

@LadyJaye

You know things from your past that wake you up at 3am in a sweating ball of cringe?

I can't remember exactly which school year I was in (Scottish, so 1st/maybe 2nd year of secondary school - roughly about 12), but it was an early algebra lesson, when the teacher was explaining 2 root 2 (say it out loud).

I started sniggering and the teacher very haughtily demanded to know what I was laughing about.

This, of course, made it worse, and I descended into a hopeless giggling mess muttering something about trumpets while the teacher and the rest of the class stared on, stony-faced.

I am now an information systems director and use algorithms and logic-based language on a daily basis, so clearly I wasn't that traumatised.

I don't get it...as my thread in essence would suggest...I'm not the sharpest tool!

I thought oxygenated blood went out from your heart through arteries on one side of your body, and de-oxygenated blood went back the heart through veins on the other side of your body. Because that's what all the textbook diagrams showed, and what we had to draw. I never understood how the 2nd half got by without much oxygen, or how the blood looped round to the other side.

I passed Biology O Level thinking this, and it was years later that the penny dropped. I too was a very literal child.

Razed to the ground (ie spoken about bombing during the war) always puzzled me as a child. I thought it was ‘raised’ to the ground and I wondered how something that had been flattened could be raised up!!

Oh I remember one. Fits with my name too! When I was a kid I never understood the theme tune to the Wombles.

The wombles of Wimbledon Common are we...

In my head it was

The wombles of Wimbledon, common are we...

I had heard of Wimbledon but I only knew "common" to mean lots of something. I thought it meant there where loads of wombles everywhere. Common or garden wombles. Then when Pulp's song "common people" was in the charts I thought it meant the wombles were common because they were scruffy and picked up litter to build their houses.

In primary school I thought a T junction was a service station. (A junction where tea was served!). I would hear adults in the car saying "turn right at the T junction" and thought we were stopping for tea.

@GromblesofGrimbledon

Oh I remember one. Fits with my name too! When I was a kid I never understood the theme tune to the Wombles.

The wombles of Wimbledon Common are we...

In my head it was

The wombles of Wimbledon, common are we...

I had heard of Wimbledon but I only knew "common" to mean lots of something. I thought it meant there where loads of wombles everywhere. Common or garden wombles. Then when Pulp's song "common people" was in the charts I thought it meant the wombles were common because they were scruffy and picked up litter to build their houses.

Omg I definitely thought this too!

When someone mentioned searching with a fine-tooth comb, I wondered why you'd need a comb to brush your teeth....

I still think 'fine toothcomb' and say it that way. Fortunately I rarely say it at all .

I passed Biology O Level thinking this, and it was years later that the penny dropped. I too was a very literal child

Similarly I thought nerve signals passed magically round the body, generating electricity somehow.

Only when I did gross anatomy at uni and they showed us physical nerves that I realised that they were a solid thing along which the electric signals passed…

I don't know what "never gets" is

Or 2root2 aloud...

I'm obviously a bear of very little brain

My fella got a job years ago and one day his boss started singing "Wombles of Wimbledon, Under the sea" 🎶 My poor DH couldn't help but burst out laughing, especially when his boss told him he was wrong and the correct lyrics were under the sea!

Wow OP, bring back memories. We had ancient wooden apparatus in PE, Climbing bars and strange planks and big thick ropes and ladders. Whenever a child when anywhere near them we got the same yelling "No touching the apparatus" We never got to use them, not once. No idea why they were there.

I remember asking a question in RE about Mormons but I thought they were called Normans and had no clue why my teacher was laughing at me.

I was a weird kid. I seemed to miss a whole chunk of language that made me seem like a twat. I was about 8 when my dm's friend offered me a sarnie. I explained I had no idea what a sarnie was and I'd never had one at home. So she offered me a cheese or a ham sarnie and I shrugged my shoulders. So then she she says, "you know two bits of bread, bit of butter and something in the middle"?

And then, the most unintentionally condescending voice came out of my tiny child body much like lady muck attempting to teach the locals proper English I said, "ohhhhh, a sandwich, you mean a sandwich, sand-wich, oh yes, I'd love a sandwich, thanks".

We had a similar discussion about Crimbo later. She always hated me.

@KrakowDawn

“I want never gets”. Basically a phrase trotted out when ever we asked for anything. Only I heard it as “i want nevergets”, and thought my mum was saying she wanted nevergets but didn’t get them, so why would I get what I wanted?

Ah....I just got "never gets".
We don't say that, we say 'doesnt get'!

X-post!

My childhood misunderstanding is when we used to sing the hymn ‘Lord of the dance’ I didn’t understand the words, “I-am am the lord of the dance said he” -said he sounded like one word to me and I thought it was ‘dance said he’ which I was confused about!

2 root 2?

Like 'toddledoo!', like a trumpet?

Oh god. I was clearly completely alone and absolutely nobody else gets it. No wonder the entire class looked at me like I was an idiot...

Oh so many.

I spent a good part of my primary school years trying to understand the difference between 'sitting down and sitting up'.

And, also in primary school, we were constantly told never to 'point' (This was many years ago). Pointing was rude, and you must never do it.

As a consequence I spent most of my childhood trying to work out how to point out something in the distance to someone without pointing at it. In the end I concluded that it was probably just about acceptable, when out of school, to point with my little finger, I would never have done it while in school.

I was a very shy, nervous child and was terrified of doing the wrong thing (these were the days when you could still get a ruler across your hand or the back of your legs for some mild childish misdemeanour).

There was a massive amount of that sort of nonsense at my school, probably one of the reason I found school so scary.

I was doing my GCSEs when I asked my teacher what "defecation" was. I turned beetroot after being educated. I can still feel the burning humiliation.

Up until that point, and after, I avoided asking questions because I didn't want to look stupid. Not sure what possessed me that day.

@LadyJaye

You know things from your past that wake you up at 3am in a sweating ball of cringe?

I can't remember exactly which school year I was in (Scottish, so 1st/maybe 2nd year of secondary school - roughly about 12), but it was an early algebra lesson, when the teacher was explaining 2 root 2 (say it out loud).

I started sniggering and the teacher very haughtily demanded to know what I was laughing about.

This, of course, made it worse, and I descended into a hopeless giggling mess muttering something about trumpets while the teacher and the rest of the class stared on, stony-faced.

I am now an information systems director and use algorithms and logic-based language on a daily basis, so clearly I wasn't that traumatised.

Omg I just had the bf in stitches there going 2 root 2 I don't get it... I do now 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

Beanbags.

Thought they were big things you sat on. Not small things you apparently had to throw up in the air and catch. While on the subject, getting your class to thrown random pieces of equipment up in the air and then catch them would not pass an Ofsted test now would it.

I thought Mercury and Marie Curie were the same thing. When in school using mercury thermometers I assumed they were named after her and when I was 15/16 I was given a candle holder made from mercury effect glass and asked why Marie Curie made candle holders...

Ah! I was trying it I. A Scottish accent to see if I'd missed something (too rude to is about all I could come up with!).