Words and phrases that confused you as a child at school - or am I the only one?

[FortunesFave]

I clearly remember thinking 'what?" whenever the teacher mentioned "The Apparatus" during PE.

I didn't know what apparatus was! This was in primary school. She'd shout to the group of us in the 'big hall' "Don't touch the apparatus!" during the times when we were allowed to run around aimlessly during "PE lessons"

Then there was the mysterious "Cloakroom" I couldn't work out if this was a euphemism for toilets or if they meant the tiny bit of the corridor where we hung our coats.

Still not sure. Was I a lone weirdo who didn't understand basic stuff?

@FortunesFave Then there was the mysterious "Cloakroom" I couldn't work out if this was a euphemism for toilets or if they meant the tiny bit of the corridor where we hung our coats.

I need to know where/what it was.

Ours was genuinely a room opposite the classic lines with hooks for coats and trays for bags. Only none of us had cloaks...

In Catholic primary school, many decades ago, I never saw the words of the hymns written down, we just seemed to learn them by osmosis or repetition.
One in particular had the line: "Save us from the foe malign".
In my head I thought it was: "Save us from the foam - a line!" And thought it must be about rescuing someone from the foamy sea, asking them to throw a line down to them.

I'd missed a day of junior school, and when I went back my mum took me to the HM's office, who said the class had been singing some Beetles songs in music.

I was really looking forward to singing about insects the next class and was really confused when we learnt a song called 'When I'm 64' instead!

I was always very puzzled by the signs you sometimes get near roadworks or construction sites which said: 'Heavy plant crossing'. I genuinely thought that they somehow managed to move trees out of the way of developments by getting them to walk across the road.

@fallfallfall

Not even long ago, please can someone explain. Drug and Alcohol free event. Are you free to use drugs and alcohol, is the event free?

Perhaps you pay to get into the event, and then help yourselves to as much free alcohol and drugs as you can handle?

@ahoyshipmates

I was always very puzzled by the signs you sometimes get near roadworks or construction sites which said: 'Heavy plant crossing'. I genuinely thought that they somehow managed to move trees out of the way of developments by getting them to walk across the road.

When we see that sign I always say "look out for Triffids"!

@BritInAus

When someone mentioned searching with a fine-tooth comb, I wondered why you'd need a comb to brush your teeth....

It should be a fine-toothed comb, ie all the prongs very close together so nothing can escape it. (Sorry if you knew this already!).

This one isn’t a child but when a relative came to stay from USA he was confused as to why there were no coaches allowed at a certain motorway services we stopped at- he was envisioning sports coaches being banned as they don’t call large bus tours coaches there!

@ahoyshipmates

I was always very puzzled by the signs you sometimes get near roadworks or construction sites which said: 'Heavy plant crossing'. I genuinely thought that they somehow managed to move trees out of the way of developments by getting them to walk across the road.

This reminded me of one that confused me as a child. My parents were house hunting and we viewed a few, I was very disappointed to find out what a plant room was. I had been imagining a wonderful big conservatory-type room full of exotic greenery.

On the Wombles theme I used to think Wimbledon was only the place they played tennis. So child me thought they popped up all over the tennis court. Explained this theory to my dad who decided to tell me if I look carefully ide see the ball boys picking up Wombles as well as tennis balls. I was well far to old when the penny dropped there

In my first week in reception, the teacher asked me to 'draw the curtains' to get ready for storytime. I went and got some paper and a pencil as I had misunderstood (we 'pull the curtains' in my house!).

A couple of years later, I asked the teacher how to spell PE as I didn't realise it was an abbreviation for Physical Education and assumed it was just a word - peeyee or something.

And in the same vein, I asked what essay stood for m, as I thought it was SA

Oh and at the first cake sale we had, my Mum gave me a 20p coin and explained that the teacher would give half of it back to me as the cakes were only 10p. I spent the whole morning wondering what magic tool my teacher had that was going to cut the coin in half.

When my friend's older brother started secondary school he spoke about a subject called Arcay. It was sometime before I cottoned on. It was called Scripture at my school.

Poison Ivy!
I used to be scared and run past it as I thought it would come at me triffid style and poison me

For years, until long after I passed my driving test, I thought this sign was a hammer banging on the road and sending stones flying:

My teacher always used to say she wasn't as green as she was cabbage looking or something like that. I have no idea why anyone would say that but it's stuck with me ever since.

@Crazysheep

My teacher always used to say she wasn't as green as she was cabbage looking or something like that. I have no idea why anyone would say that but it's stuck with me ever since.

My mum uses this expression too, I think it means not as naive/innocent as they look. I think I was inferring about some sexual stuff when my mum said that!

Watching Dirty Dancing as a child, I never understood when Penny was crying and said "I don't sleep around". Aside from the whole termination thing going way over my head, I couldn't understand what harm actually going to sleep somewhere else would do. It was just a sleepover x

Still don't understand "veto" & which way around to use it?!

I remember my parents talking about a storm "blowing over" when I was about four, and for some inexplicable reason, I thought that a storm looked like an airship. For the next couple of years if anyone mentioned that there was a storm coming, I'd go outside and excitedly look for a bloody airship.

Another hymn one. In primary school, before they splashed out on an overhead projector so we could read the words, I would merrily sing about the "Lord of the Dance Settee".

I was rather disappointed to discover that it was actually "Lord of the Dance, said he"

'Caution Horses'.

What is a caution horse..?

@TheSlayer

I also had a friend who was scared of the loos because armitage shanks was written on the sinks. She misread as sharks.

@ElaborateSalad

Another hymn one. In primary school, before they splashed out on an overhead projector so we could read the words, I would merrily sing about the "Lord of the Dance Settee".

I was rather disappointed to discover that it was actually "Lord of the Dance, said he"

'I am the Lord of the Damp Settee'

@NumberTheory

I had a kind of magic-eye thing going on with that, but you're right, it does look like hammer!