. . . to expect a bit more help in children's ward?

[TiredStressedFrustrated]

DD (18 months) was admitted to hospital yesterday (sent to A&E by GP due to fast, shallow breathing and high heart rate, but dehydrated, all as a result of upper respiratory tract infection and not being able to keep any fluids/food/calpol down). Since we've been here, I've been really dismayed at how hands-off everyone is - I've been handed a syringe and told to get eight syringes of water into DD every hour overnight, I was handed a plastic cup and told to get a pee sample (this has proved impossible, the tiny pee that she did I missed and it was absorbed into her nappy, even when she threw up everywhere, housekeeping handed me a pack of wipes and said "are you okay cleaning the floor up with these?" - this is while I was holding a very upset toddler covered in vomit.

Now don't get me wrong - DD is my responsibility and of course I want to look after her, clean up after her etc. It just feels like there's no support from the hospital staff at all - they just hand you the equipment for whatever needs doing and expect you to do it all, whilst they dip in and out and take obs every few hours.

Is this normal? I'm struggling to get DD to take the syringes but they just say "oh dear . . . " I haven't been able to get a urine sample but they tell me really need it so keep trying . . . I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired and stressed but I feel like we're just muddling through ourselves and we may as well be at home

Don't bite the boob I think you need a chill pill, don't ask me who can prescribe that!!
Op sending get well wishes to your poorly dc, I hope you both get through this nightmare really soon

My DS has been in twice now for the same reason. Once at the very beginning of the pandemic last March and once last month. Both terrifying so I do hope she makes a swift recovery, I appreciate how scary it is.

I agree that they’re fairly useless. They should have offered a pad to go in her nappy to collect urine. I was pregnant the first time and they didn’t offer me any food at all so I had to steal some of DS’s because I felt like I was going to faint. They offered the odd drink here and there but it was a very shit time made worse by pregnancy. I also had to give him his nebulisers and hold the oxygen mask on with him most often thrashing around screaming. Horrific. The doctors were all lovely though so I appreciated that.

I work on a children's ward and we categorically do not have the staff to hold an o2 mask next to a child's face. If her oxygen levels are that precarious she should be on hi flo or pressurised oxygen.

Over night we have no hcas and 3 nurses for 24 children and we have to staff the emergency codes in A&E. I have 6 children per night, if I'm holding an oxygen mask all night none of my patients will have observations done, no medications, no admissions.

The reality of it, as said by poorfanjo.

To leave the ward for an hour to stay with one patient for an hour puts your other patients at risk and added pressure on colleagues.

My 21 year DD has just started on a children’s complex care ward. She has one month’s post qualifying experience. Last night she looked after ten patients on her own. She’s on her 6th 12 hour shift in 8 days. They are routinely short staffed. She is doing her absolute best but is exhausted and phoned me earlier in tears.

If you have any suggestions for how she can do better please do let me know and I’ll pass them onto her.

Hi everyone . . . woah, I didn't expect that to develop as it has!

I don't even know where to start . . . DD is okay. Well, okay-ish; her sats still sink to 88-89 when she's not on oxygen. She's on a high dose of antibiotics (that's what I meant when I said I had to keep asking for them, when they were "late" - surely antibiotics have to be given on a timely basis? Oh and they apparently initially made an error in prescribing twice a day instead of thrice a day . . . anyway. I accept mistakes can happen and they owned up and corrected it).

I want to care for my daughter. But at the point in which I was overwhelmed with all these tricky tasks, some support would have been appreciated, that's all. Maybe they could have offered to give her some fluids, or the calpol, or helped me strip her off when she was sick or something. I don't know. I just felt so alone with lots of people around.

I absolutely do not expect someone to hold an oxygen mask over DD's face for an hour. It's not even on her face, she pulls it off, so we set it beside her on her pillow so she can breathe it in. What I needed was for someone to hear the alarm going off when DD turned her head, and go in to place the mask on the right side of her pillow. That's all. No holding-in-place. I just needed an hour or two of not having to do that to get a couple hours sleep. They said they were happy to do that, not to worry, sleep and they'd listen out for the alarm and move the mask when they heard it. But they didn't. I kept waking up to the alarm going off. And once I let it carry on, to see if anyone would come in, but they didn't.

Anyway, I'm at home right now, DH is with her tonight so I'm going to go to bed and sleep my hardest! It feels weird not to be there but I know I need a break.

Thanks to everyone who commented - I know it's a touchy subject. I was just . . . tired, stressed and frustrated

The giving fluids in a syringe is standard of they are borderline dehydrated- you are much more likely to get your child to drink than a strange nurse or doc and noone wants to put a drip in a child if not required.

Catching a wee from a dehydrated child is the absolute pits, you have my sympathy. We tried for a day and night without success

Cleaning floor is a bit weird?

They would have got there eventually with regards to the alarm.

If it's a medical ward, and there's wriggly babies, alarms go off regularly, with occlusions in IV meds, or end of meds, or sats monitor has fallen off patient or oxygen prongs has slipped down, add all that to 25 patients, and alarms sound regularly and for sometime but they get there eventually.

Onwards and upwards OP. It's really tough, I feel for you.

Hi op, thinking of you! Having all sorts of memories of trying to sleep while alarms were going off. Eventually one of the night staff just recalibrated the alarm and told me not to worry - set the sensitivity to 90 per cent rather than 95. And put it on silent! Have you got a friend who could sit with Dd for a couple of hours? Just ask - people are happy to help, especially if they’ve been through it. I drop everything to help friends if they’re in a Paeds ward with their kids as I know they won’t have even had a chance ro go to the loo.

The tapping trick me ruined above is worth a try, or a cold flannel or baby wipe in the same area if you think it won’t upset her too much.

I remember feeling so alone and isolated when my boy was in at a month old and that was pre Covid. The amount of times I got peed on getting a sample from him and then they kept sending the test off wrong and asking me to do it again!

I hope your little one is better soon, it’s horrible to see them so poorly.

And have a great night’s sleep.

@DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou not to mention the CAHMS patients who need extensive observation overnight

[quote poorfanjo]@DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou not to mention the CAHMS patients who need extensive observation overnight [/quote]
Yes those that abscond as well.

I'm now community but I miss the wards a lot.

Sending you love op, been there more times than I care to remember. I found you have to be clear and ask for help. So the mopping up the floor - not really, I can't put her down right now. The urine sample - we had little bags we stuck over his willy but not sure if there's an equivalent for girls. If there's students on the ward sometimes they can sit with a settled / sleeping baby if you ask the nurses so you can get food / air. Not sure if that's different in times of Covid. Calpol - I can't get her to take it, if o gold her can someone help? Etc.

Glad she's on the mend x

@DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou

She said a member of staff, are you ok?

Again. I ask who?

A member is staff, I'm sure you are aware, range from HCA, nurse associates, student nurses, nurses, nurse in charge, matron, junior doctors, consultants, medical doctors, surgical doctors, paediatricians.

I'm sure you understand why I ask who. Still.

Unless of course you mean, any of those above?

Wow. Thank fuck for PALS, they might not be perfect but, yeah.

@TiredStressedFrustrated

Hi everyone . . . woah, I didn't expect that to develop as it has!

I don't even know where to start . . . DD is okay. Well, okay-ish; her sats still sink to 88-89 when she's not on oxygen. She's on a high dose of antibiotics (that's what I meant when I said I had to keep asking for them, when they were "late" - surely antibiotics have to be given on a timely basis? Oh and they apparently initially made an error in prescribing twice a day instead of thrice a day . . . anyway. I accept mistakes can happen and they owned up and corrected it).

I want to care for my daughter. But at the point in which I was overwhelmed with all these tricky tasks, some support would have been appreciated, that's all. Maybe they could have offered to give her some fluids, or the calpol, or helped me strip her off when she was sick or something. I don't know. I just felt so alone with lots of people around.

I absolutely do not expect someone to hold an oxygen mask over DD's face for an hour. It's not even on her face, she pulls it off, so we set it beside her on her pillow so she can breathe it in. What I needed was for someone to hear the alarm going off when DD turned her head, and go in to place the mask on the right side of her pillow. That's all. No holding-in-place. I just needed an hour or two of not having to do that to get a couple hours sleep. They said they were happy to do that, not to worry, sleep and they'd listen out for the alarm and move the mask when they heard it. But they didn't. I kept waking up to the alarm going off. And once I let it carry on, to see if anyone would come in, but they didn't.

Anyway, I'm at home right now, DH is with her tonight so I'm going to go to bed and sleep my hardest! It feels weird not to be there but I know I need a break.

Thanks to everyone who commented - I know it's a touchy subject. I was just . . . tired, stressed and frustrated

It really shouldn’t be a touchy subject. What you’re asking for is basic care, for a child. I remember being in your position and feeling pathetically grateful for the smallest kindness and then after coming out, completely traumatised by it. I felt like I had to be at my most ‘please like me’ to people who couldn’t care less, at the time I was the most vulnerable. Sending you and your little one lots of positive thoughts.

@MilesOfSand ok I'm listening.

I hear you, I'm a terrible HCP, and you would expect more from me if I were caring for your child.

Can I ask - genuine question here and for all the others that have given me earache, what you would expect from the staff for the op?

@DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou you sound like a great hcp. There aren't enough staff to give the care we'd like. It doesn't make it right but it's the truth. It's threads like this that make me think maybe it's time to leave the nhs.

I work 4 13 hour shifts with next to no staff, I do my absolute best for my patients and their families but it's never enough

[quote DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou]@MilesOfSand ok I'm listening.

I hear you, I'm a terrible HCP, and you would expect more from me if I were caring for your child.

Can I ask - genuine question here and for all the others that have given me earache, what you would expect from the staff for the op?[/quote]
I haven't given you ear ache but I'd expect someone else to clean the floor not the patient's parent when said parent is holding sock patient. Nurses not responding to beeping alarms is horrendous when you're in that situation. I read her op and think meh only 89, it's fine, they're not running cos it's not that low. But when I was in a room alone with DS and the alarms were going off and I didn't know what was too low and the nurses didn't come when you rang the alarm because he'd projectile vomitted all across his bed at 2 am etc, I just needed someone. And I should say I loved our nurses, students and HCAs. We were on for 4 months, those people kept me sane. I repaid them in cake and emotional cards. But the poor staffing ratios in our hospitals isn't your fault

That is very poor of the hospital. Why don't they just put her on a drip? That's what they did with my 12 month old when she had flu.

Also, apparently cold from blowing can help them pee. Or perhaps if they had some cling film your daughter could sit over that in some way? I can't remember how we managed it now, but it was stressful.

Wiping the floor with a sick toddler is definitely out of order.

I hope she feels better soon. Be assertive. Good luck.

[quote DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou]@MilesOfSand ok I'm listening.

I hear you, I'm a terrible HCP, and you would expect more from me if I were caring for your child.

Can I ask - genuine question here and for all the others that have given me earache, what you would expect from the staff for the op?[/quote]
Just basic kindness on what is often the worst days of people’s lives.

It's become like a developing country. That's not nursing.

That sounds extremely shit care and not like you were asking for much at all..I know how exhausting it is and iv never done four nights. Hope you get a great sleep tonight and your dad is improved enough in the morning to come home.

[quote DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou]@MilesOfSand ok I'm listening.

I hear you, I'm a terrible HCP, and you would expect more from me if I were caring for your child.

Can I ask - genuine question here and for all the others that have given me earache, what you would expect from the staff for the op?[/quote]
Perhaps an acknowledgment that it's not ridiculous to hope that when your baby is ill in hospital a nurse may be able to help you care for them. It's not like OP was some chancer expecting free drugs and a taxi home. I referred to a guilt trip because of the attitude that it was outrageous to even ask for help from the staff, and anyone who did should be made to feel how stupid they were.

Is it a parent's job to stay awake all night, having been there and awake all day and for the previous days, to monitor and control the oxygen their child is getting? Quite a few defensive replies saying staff just can't do it, there isn't the time. I know it's tough and there are unrealistic expectations. But expecting parents who are able to be there 24/7 to be alert and capable of monitoring care all that time with no rest is also unrealistic. It's not OP being a princess, she simply couldn't keep going. Some understanding of all of that.

I think you guys need to invest in private care if that's the care you're requiring.

Because it simply is not reality.

At all.

And to suggest that the nurses aren't providing basic kindness is an absolute insult of an assumption to all nurses.

I'm hiding this thread now because the last few posters are so put of touch with reality of the wards it's painful to read.