Absent father taking DS abroad

[Hopelessandlost]

Hi

DS is 3, his dad only sees him when he wants to. Ive always contacted him every other week offering different times, locations etc but he hardly shows up

He has never been in our son's life and even when he sees DS, he just talks to me about legal stuff and how I should contact the Home Office and tell them how he's a great dad, so they should let him stay here (came on a spouse visa which was curtailed due to our divorce, now he's trying to stay here on the basis of our son)

Anyways, he started talking about how he wants to take DS back to his home country for 3 weeks next year as his parents want to see him

Can he do this even though he hardly sees DS? Our son cries everytime his dad comes near him, he's non verbal so he cannot express himself. I want them to have a relationship which is why I always message him asking him to let me know when hes free

Solicitor is trying to put together an agreement for contact and has put supervised, then unsupervised..then overnights

Ex is saying 'hes wont die if i take him back home will he?' No but it would be great if DS was comfortable with him first

Is he allowed to force DS to go abroad even though hes pretty much absent and wont spend longer than 45 mins when he shows up?

No dont let him take him, and dont take him to India either, different country, different rules and you may find that you are not allowed to leave there with your son. If the grandparents want to meet him, let them travel to you, then you keep full control of the situation.

dont let him take your child

[quote Hopelessandlost]@BunnyRuddington after doing some research I have found out that in order for him to apply for a Parent of a Child Visa (which is what he now needs to do as his spouse visa has been cancelled) .. he needs to show he has an agreement or a court ordered arrangement. That is listed as one of the things he needs to meet the requirement..thats why hes pushing for either court, or the agreement![/quote]
Take legal advice, but that suggests to me that he will be keen to compromise on any agreement to get his visa, so there’s a fair chance you can get an agreement that doesn’t allow him to take DS abroad

@Hopelessandlost

I wont let him go with him... i was worried if he fights to take him, the judge might allow him but of course if he barely sees our son.. i dont see that happening.. thank you everyone for replying and putting things into perspective

I really don't want to badger you about this, OP, but you don't seem to realise quite what a huge can of worms this is. It may just be that you're super laid back (I am, too - though I wouldn't be if I's thought anyone had been likely to take my children away from me when they were little), and it may also be that you're a bit scared by all the responses on here. But please, please, please fight this actively. Don't just fall back on "I don't see that happening". You need to do absolutely everything you can to make sure that it can't happen. Your son needs to be with you the whole time. If he's at nursery/CM, you need to make it clear that he must not leave with anyone else unless you have permitted it. If they won't agree to this, on the ground that parental responsibility means that either parent can collect him, you have to keep him at home for the time being. It's rubbish, but it's not a patch on losing him for years or worse.

If this is all a massive overrreaction, nobody will have been harmed, as your son's father has already shown that he's a rubbish father, so your son is losing nothing.