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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Locked Kitchen Cupboard reactions

299 replies

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 06:50

Is it considered strange to have a lock on one of your kitchen cupboards?

So as a single person, I have been dating, and on three occasions now, when I’ve brought a date home, they have had surprising (to me) reactions to my locked kitchen cupboard.

This is not a lock I have put on there myself, I moved into the property and it was already this way, it is built almost seamlessly as part of the kitchen design, and there is a turn key on one of the units… I do use this to place my more personal items.

When someone tries to open it, it resists, of course. And then I am questioned about it… I find that wrong and intrusive! First you shouldn’t try to open something that has a turn key on it, and second, you shouldn’t question me about it!

The most serious occasion was when I was dating someone, and after the second time she’d stayed over, we both found whatever was between us wasn’t working out for either of us… at the end when she wanted to list the ways it hadn’t worked out, one of them was that my kitchen cupboard was locked! Does that have anything to do with anything at all?? Really?

And only last night, after having a date stay over her first time, I came into the kitchen to witness her staring and really frowning at it! I’m not sure I would have even noticed if it was me let alone frown at it.

Is it weird to have a kitchen cupboard with a lock and to actually use that lock?

OP posts:
MerryDecembermas · 05/07/2021 06:51

Yes it's weird. The people you're bringing home sound weirder though!

HelloDulling · 05/07/2021 06:53

It is weird, yes.

popcornpopping · 05/07/2021 06:54

Is this a house share or you live alone?

cariadlet · 05/07/2021 06:54

I've never seen a locked kitchen cupboard and would find it strange unless it was a student house or a house share where someone was trying to stop their housemates from nicking their food.

Bimblybomeyelash · 05/07/2021 06:55

I’ve never known anyone with a locked kitchen cupboard, so yes I’d consider it unusual. I suppose it could be useful to keep cleaning products away from
Small Children, but I don’t see the need for a lock if you live alone, and my
Mind boggles at ‘more personal items’ that may be stored in the kitchen! But still, I’m surprised that it has caused so
Much intrigue amongst your overnight guests. It would be weird if after a year of dating someone, you still weren’t allowed in the locked kitchen cupboard, but not after just one night.

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 06:55

@MerryDecembermas

Yes it's weird. The people you're bringing home sound weirder though!
I am about as weird as they come, but I don’t think my kitchen has anything to do with this.
OP posts:
DisgruntledPelican · 05/07/2021 06:55

It’s unusual, but if I’d moved into somewhere that had a locked cupboard I wouldn’t take steps to remove it.

I wouldn’t poke around the house of someone I was newly dating though, so I probably wouldn’t notice for a while!

KatherineOfGaunt · 05/07/2021 06:55

Yes, it's weird if you live alone to put "personal items" in it and use the lock. But if it's the kind of lock that you have to use and you can't use the cupboard without it, then that's less weird as it's expense to get the lock removed.

I would want to know what was in there, though, so would probably fiddle and be curious!

saraclara · 05/07/2021 06:55

I don't see anything weird about it at all. If it was a locked filing cabinet no-one would turn a hair. But they're peeved because it's in the kitchen?

Sbsh · 05/07/2021 06:56

Do you have flat mates? It's weird if you live alone to lock a kitchen cupboard but the parnter who listed it as a reason for it not working out is also v weird.

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 06:56

@popcornpopping

Is this a house share or you live alone?
Flat that I live in alone.
OP posts:
MovingtoOz1Day · 05/07/2021 06:56

I don't think it's that strange, I do think the way you write about it and how you say people react to it is very strange though. Can't imagine being so bothered about a cupboard that locks that I'd stand frowning at it or use it as a reason for not seeing that person again Confused

Wilkolampshade · 05/07/2021 06:57

Firstly, people can ask you what they like. You don't have to answer them, obviously, but they are free to ask you pretty much anything.
And yes, very odd.
What on earth are 'personal' kitchen items?

Cam2020 · 05/07/2021 06:57

It's not typical. Perhaps they're wondering if the bodies of your previous dates are in there?

Joking.

Strikemepink · 05/07/2021 06:57

I don’t think it’s that weird, my parents installed one for their medicines to keep them out of reach / access from youngsters.

popcornpopping · 05/07/2021 06:58

Ok. yes weird. ,what personal items are in there?

GalacticDragonfly · 05/07/2021 06:58

Wouldn’t be at all weird if it’s a house with small children who live there or visit often and the cupboard contains cleaning products, medications or other dangerous items.
Otherwise, it’s quite odd.

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 06:58

@Bimblybomeyelash

I’ve never known anyone with a locked kitchen cupboard, so yes I’d consider it unusual. I suppose it could be useful to keep cleaning products away from Small Children, but I don’t see the need for a lock if you live alone, and my Mind boggles at ‘more personal items’ that may be stored in the kitchen! But still, I’m surprised that it has caused so Much intrigue amongst your overnight guests. It would be weird if after a year of dating someone, you still weren’t allowed in the locked kitchen cupboard, but not after just one night.
I was in a one year relationship and she never had access the cupboard, but she didn’t comment on it in any way during the entire time.
OP posts:
Rosegoldfan · 05/07/2021 06:58

I would be intrigued too. What do you keep in there? Strange.

Whinge · 05/07/2021 06:59

And then I am questioned about it… I find that wrong and intrusive!

Why do you find the question intrusive? It's not a common sight so I can see why people would ask about it, i'd probably ask myself if I came across it. A quick answer of it was there when I moved in, it's a bit weird but it's useful, and i'd put it out of my mind. However if it's a continued issue in a relationship I wonder if it's how you're responding to their questions that's the problem?

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 06:59

@DisgruntledPelican

It’s unusual, but if I’d moved into somewhere that had a locked cupboard I wouldn’t take steps to remove it.

I wouldn’t poke around the house of someone I was newly dating though, so I probably wouldn’t notice for a while!

You’ve said exactly what I was trying to say!
OP posts:
Soubriquet · 05/07/2021 07:00

I had one a locked kitchen cupboard in a flat I was renting.

I didn’t put it in, it was already there. I had medicines and things like that in it.

Gladioli23 · 05/07/2021 07:02

Does the cupboard lock itself automatically, or do you have to actively choose to lock it?

AutumnOrange · 05/07/2021 07:03

I live in a housing association property and all the houses belonging to our housing association have 1 locked cupboard in the kitchen - supposed to be used for medication or bleaches etc I think. So not unusual for me now at all

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 07:04

@saraclara

I don't see anything weird about it at all. If it was a locked filing cabinet no-one would turn a hair. But they're peeved because it's in the kitchen?
I also found it unusual to have a kitchen unit with an inbuilt lock and I was provided the key to it along with the rest of the keys. I found it unusual but not weird, I considered it perhaps a child lock, except it’s in an upper unit and not a lower one.

I saw no reason why I shouldn’t use it and use the lock.

OP posts: