Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Locked Kitchen Cupboard reactions

299 replies

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 06:50

Is it considered strange to have a lock on one of your kitchen cupboards?

So as a single person, I have been dating, and on three occasions now, when I’ve brought a date home, they have had surprising (to me) reactions to my locked kitchen cupboard.

This is not a lock I have put on there myself, I moved into the property and it was already this way, it is built almost seamlessly as part of the kitchen design, and there is a turn key on one of the units… I do use this to place my more personal items.

When someone tries to open it, it resists, of course. And then I am questioned about it… I find that wrong and intrusive! First you shouldn’t try to open something that has a turn key on it, and second, you shouldn’t question me about it!

The most serious occasion was when I was dating someone, and after the second time she’d stayed over, we both found whatever was between us wasn’t working out for either of us… at the end when she wanted to list the ways it hadn’t worked out, one of them was that my kitchen cupboard was locked! Does that have anything to do with anything at all?? Really?

And only last night, after having a date stay over her first time, I came into the kitchen to witness her staring and really frowning at it! I’m not sure I would have even noticed if it was me let alone frown at it.

Is it weird to have a kitchen cupboard with a lock and to actually use that lock?

OP posts:
itsamegladon · 05/07/2021 09:45

Actually we generally don't use the lock day to day and the keys are in it.

We used it when we had teens coming in to feed the pets while we were away.

Rhiannon13 · 05/07/2021 09:46

Sometimes I feel like I live in a parallel universe!

Who on earth would even notice this, never mind find it 'weird' or 'creepy' and feel the need to comment on it? I'd just presume, as the OP lives alone, that it was put in by a previous resident who maybe had kids and wanted to lock away meds or cleaning products.

Even if I was curious I'd still mind my own business. Are people not allowed privacy any more?

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 05/07/2021 09:49

I can't see anything strange about a wall unit having a lock on as most people keep medicines in the kitchen.

Do they? I thought most people kept them in the bathroom cabinet. (Not arguing, just curious)

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 05/07/2021 09:50

I’d find it strange if you lived alone. My mind would wonder if there were illegal drugs or some STD meds hiding in there!

Astrabees · 05/07/2021 09:51

If an older person lived in the flat or someone on strong medication it was probably put in to keep medications safe. What a good idea to ensure harmful stuff is kept away from children. Not a bad idea if you have older children who might be interested in alcohol too.

MeanderingGently · 05/07/2021 09:52

Can't understand why everyone thinks a locked cupboard is weird!!
A locked cupboard is perfectly OK, it's the sort of thing I'd be putting medicines in - much safer - or else private items like sanitary wear (except that these days I'm too old to use them anyway). I might even put my diary in it if I didn't want any visitors to be prowling around reading it. But I know exactly what you mean.

The very fact that people on here think it's weird backs up your story that potential dates have not liked your cupboard. Why anyone would assess someone on whether they lock a kitchen cabinet or not shows a certain amount of shallowness on their part. Rather than worrying about it, I'd use it as some sort of test. Happy with your cupboard? Compatible. Not happy? It's not going to work. Make sure you're first in with the message : "You didn't pass the kitchen cupboard test so sorry, you're not the one for me".....

AnneKipanki · 05/07/2021 09:52

The OP did not install it . It was there when she moved in .

randomlyLostInWales · 05/07/2021 09:56

It's an odd featiure - but if I had one I'd probably use it

I wouldn't be suprised by an intial question when it was first encountered or anyone trying it to see wtf it was - I'd just reply it was there when I moved in

Any further questioning or constant mentioning or worse still trying it I'd think were bit odd and off behavior.

theemmadilemma · 05/07/2021 09:57

It's actually pretty sensible and clever. But, having never seen it before, if I didn't notice the lock and just went to open a normal looking kitchen cupboard where I expected the glasses to be or something, and it was locked, I would be a bit taken a back initially. Just in a 'ohhh never seen that before', 'what do you keep in there then hehe' way. I'd probably also find it weirder that you kept it locked despite being single. That's weirder.

Laiste · 05/07/2021 10:05

@Summerfun54321

I’ve designed many many kitchens, no one has ever requested a lockable cupboard. So creepy.
To properly design a kitchen for a client you need to get to know the person/family's individual circumstances/wants/needs? This must be pretty varied?

You've done it ''many many'' times and yet you can't think of any reasons for a lockable kitchen cubboard which aren't ''creepy''?
Hmm

JeansShirtJeansJacket · 05/07/2021 10:06

I probably wouldn't notice because I'm not very observant unless I'm consciously trying to be.

I don't think it's that strange to have a locked kitchen cupboard. I would assume it was originally installed because of kids, very elderly/vulnerable family member, extra clever pets, or cheeky housemates. Or maybe a badly disguised home safe?

I can think of so many reasons why someone would want a lock on a kitchen cupboard. Not sure why so many people are saying it's weird.

Atalune · 05/07/2021 10:06

I don’t think anyone is disputing the utility of a lockable cupboard.

What’s a massive red flag is the secrecy around it! So odd.

Kottbullar · 05/07/2021 10:09

I think initially it would seem strange as you are single and it's in the kitchen.
I'd wonder who you were locking things away from and due to the location my first thought would be food or other kitchen related items.
Then of course I'd think of other more reasonable things but yes on first sight of it I'd be a bit puzzled.

BarbaraofSeville · 05/07/2021 10:11

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

I can't see anything strange about a wall unit having a lock on as most people keep medicines in the kitchen.

Do they? I thought most people kept them in the bathroom cabinet. (Not arguing, just curious)

They might, but when you think about it, it's more convenient to keep them in the kitchen.

We keep ours in the kitchen, in an internal drawer in a base unit. The bathroom cabinet is full of towels, toilet rolls and spare toiletries.

This is one of those things that's unusual, but makes perfect sense , but people are so set in their ways, they can't get their head around doing things differently.

Like the thread last week where the OP hung her washing out late at night so it would dry the next day, because she didn't have time to do it in the morning, but people thought she was mad, even before the tiresome nonsense about spider willies and it getting darked on.

PussGirl · 05/07/2021 10:12

I think having a cupboard that can be locked is fine, although burglars would just jemmy it open and cause damage.

Thefaceofboe · 05/07/2021 10:17

I don’t think it’s that weird, I have a drawer in my kitchen with passports in, any official documents, money, a wad of euros from past holidays, my spare car key and a few sets of spare keys for my front and back door. I don’t keep it locked but I probably should!

FlibbertyGiblets · 05/07/2021 10:19

The weird thing is that OP locks away stuff from herself.

Immunetypegoblin · 05/07/2021 10:19

I would find it odd that you keep the cupboard locked when it's just you who lives there. I'd probably make a point of leaving the key in the lock - weirdly this might reassure anyone who comes over and notices it, because they could just open it if they chose to (but they probably won't because Politeness).

You may find it works well if you say 'Please ignore the weird lockable cupboard; it was here when I moved in; feel free to look inside if you can't stand secrets'. They then won't. Problem solved :)

bridgetreilly · 05/07/2021 10:20

It's very weird to have a locked cabinet in a house where you live alone! And I would not think it weird at all for people to notice and ask you about it. And if you were then all secretive and/or defensive about it, I would certainly take that as a warning sign for any potential relationship, yes.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 05/07/2021 10:21

I have teenage boys in the house.

I like the idea of a lockable cupboard so i might get a crisp or a biscuit.

My sons are actual gannets. I'm off to google kitchens and if I find a supplier with a lockable unit I may well redo the kitchen. Genius.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 05/07/2021 10:21

But the OP (who is presumably an adult, as she's dating) lives there alone!

Yeah, but...if I had a lockable cupboard, I would probably lock stuff in it. I just like to get the value out of stuff.

But I would have started the thread by saying I keep my passport, driving licence, cough syrup, tampons and murder trophies in the locked cupboard, rather than leaving it mysterious.

diddl · 05/07/2021 10:22

I've never come across one so I can imagine saying that.

Also perhaps saying useful for medicines/bleach etc.

If I lived alone I probably wouldn't keep it locked unless I was using it as a safe.

bridgetreilly · 05/07/2021 10:23

Like, if you just said, 'Oh, yeah, it was there when I moved in and I've never bothered to uninstall it. It's no big deal.' I'd think, fine and not be bothered. Especially if you opened it and I could see it really was just ordinary stuff in there. But if you get secretive about it, I am just going to start imagining the worst things that could be in there - everything from drugs to murder weapons.

starfishmummy · 05/07/2021 10:26

@FlibbertyGiblets

The weird thing is that OP locks away stuff from herself.
Depends on the set up. It may not have another catch, and depending on the style of lock then the cuoboard might not stay closed unless locked. That said, I'd probably leave the key in it.
godmum56 · 05/07/2021 10:29

@MeanderingGently

Can't understand why everyone thinks a locked cupboard is weird!! A locked cupboard is perfectly OK, it's the sort of thing I'd be putting medicines in - much safer - or else private items like sanitary wear (except that these days I'm too old to use them anyway). I might even put my diary in it if I didn't want any visitors to be prowling around reading it. But I know exactly what you mean.

The very fact that people on here think it's weird backs up your story that potential dates have not liked your cupboard. Why anyone would assess someone on whether they lock a kitchen cabinet or not shows a certain amount of shallowness on their part. Rather than worrying about it, I'd use it as some sort of test. Happy with your cupboard? Compatible. Not happy? It's not going to work. Make sure you're first in with the message : "You didn't pass the kitchen cupboard test so sorry, you're not the one for me".....

the cupboard test...nailed it! :) I think a lockable kitchen cupboard is a brilliant idea, I live alone and I wish I had one. to the people who think its creepy, are you projecting? If i have workmen i don't know in the house then i do put stuff away securely like my wallet, passport and so on. My old dog was on some pretty heavy) duty meds (epilepsy meds and valium) and it would have been handy to have somewhere to keep those safely too.