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Original poster

Locked Kitchen Cupboard reactions

299 replies

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 06:50

Is it considered strange to have a lock on one of your kitchen cupboards?

So as a single person, I have been dating, and on three occasions now, when I’ve brought a date home, they have had surprising (to me) reactions to my locked kitchen cupboard.

This is not a lock I have put on there myself, I moved into the property and it was already this way, it is built almost seamlessly as part of the kitchen design, and there is a turn key on one of the units… I do use this to place my more personal items.

When someone tries to open it, it resists, of course. And then I am questioned about it… I find that wrong and intrusive! First you shouldn’t try to open something that has a turn key on it, and second, you shouldn’t question me about it!

The most serious occasion was when I was dating someone, and after the second time she’d stayed over, we both found whatever was between us wasn’t working out for either of us… at the end when she wanted to list the ways it hadn’t worked out, one of them was that my kitchen cupboard was locked! Does that have anything to do with anything at all?? Really?

And only last night, after having a date stay over her first time, I came into the kitchen to witness her staring and really frowning at it! I’m not sure I would have even noticed if it was me let alone frown at it.

Is it weird to have a kitchen cupboard with a lock and to actually use that lock?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 05/07/2021 07:33

It is quite strange to have a locked cupboard in the kitchen. Is that where you keep the good biscuits?

Original poster
LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 07:34

@YoComoManzanas

I wouldn't find it wierd. I also wouldn't notice for ages. Unless you kept basic stuff in there like cereal/ teabags and you wouldn't let me use them. Actually I might notice a locked kitchen cupboard I'd I had stayed over and was searching for breakfast without you. What do you keep in your locked cupboard? Is it a secret?
I did my best to try to be a semi decent host and make sure no one needed to go hunting and gathering and foraging for food, they were fed before they had a chance to feel hungry.

Over feeding (of myself), may be something that needs addressing though.

OP posts:
EveningOverRooftops · 05/07/2021 07:34

@NoSquirrels

It’s more unusual when someone lives alone that they bother to lock the cupboard. But that’s OK.
Not really. Single people do have friends and some friends might be arses but you don’t know until the first time the do something to highlight their arsery.

As above I lock medication away because a trusted friend stole medication from me just once. That friend is no longer a friend but there’s still the possibility that other friends may one day be desperate or stupid enough to do that

Blippibloppi · 05/07/2021 07:34

If I had a locked cupboard and lived by myself I wouldn't bother to lock it. Maybe that's the bit they're questioning. I'd assume you had a problem with something (booze/drugs/Nutella)

BarbaraofSeville · 05/07/2021 07:35

It's probably just that the small sample of people you've dated found it weird, I don't think most people will be bothered by it, especially as you say it was there when you moved in.

So many reasons why it could be useful - medicines, bleaches and other household chemicals, jewellry or other valuables, documents etc. I've often thought of buying a safe to keep written down passwords in (no hope of actually remembering them all) but not got round to it, so having a locked cupboard would also serve this purpose.

Maybe it's in the kitchen, because that's where there was room for it, or it might be where burglars don't generally look as most people don't keep valuables in their kitchen, rather living or bedrooms.

PrettyVacancy · 05/07/2021 07:38

You sound very secret squirrel 🐿 What’s in this cupboard? I’m guessing illegal drugs and they would put me off someone immediately. Well, that and your secretive nature because I’d wonder what you were hiding.

reluctantbrit · 05/07/2021 07:42

I would ask about it as I find it unusual but I wouldn't try to open it, for me that would be like sneaking into a room I have no business being in.

Depending on friendship I sometimes move to a point where I am able to help myself to a glass/mug/plate but that's not on a first date/low level friendship.

VettiyaIruken · 05/07/2021 07:43

It's weird if you live alone.
Who are you locking it from?

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 05/07/2021 07:46

I’d find it very, very strange if I went to someone’s house and they used locks on their kitchen cupboards in a house they live alone in.
Fair enough the locks were on when you moved in but you don’t need to use them.
I could imagine this being an episode of Seinfeld. Where they all sit and discuss what could possibly be in the cupboards before concocting a scheme to open it and find out.

Lalliella · 05/07/2021 07:46

I’m nosy so if I was dating you I’d ask what was in it. I’d assume it was important paperwork and/or valuables. Don’t most people lock these away in case they get broken into? Normally in a safe but why not in a kitchen?

I might worry it was some unusual stuff like weird fetish gear if you were reluctant to tell me. I wouldn’t dump you for having it though unless you were weird in other ways too.

NoSquirrels · 05/07/2021 07:52

It’s your defensive attitude about it that’s weird, not the lock itself. Even on this anonymous thread you don’t want to say - so I assume you don’t tell the visitors when they ask, and that’s a bit if a flag for ‘weird vibes’, hence them mentioning it.
It’s maybe a bit nosy, but not very - kitchen cupboards aren’t exactly equivalent to rifling through your knicker drawers. Maybe they just wanted a glass of water or a cup of tea?

Batmanandbobbin · 05/07/2021 07:53

I know someone who moved into a new build council house (literally first one in) and they are all built with a cupboard that has a lock I thought it was weird but she keeps all her medication in it and it’s now something I want 😂

EishetChayil · 05/07/2021 07:54

When I hear "personal items" I conclude that it's sex toys.

MareMare · 05/07/2021 08:02

@EishetChayil

When I hear "personal items" I conclude that it's sex toys.
Yes, that’s one obvious interpretation, and to be honest, the kitchen would seem like an odd spot to house anything that might generally be described as a ‘personal item’, especially if the person lives alone. I mean, would you really want to be trekking up and down the stairs or hallway with your vibrator?
Terhou · 05/07/2021 08:02

Given that you live alone, I can see why people would find it odd. Who exactly are you locking stuff away from?

Aprilx · 05/07/2021 08:03

I have never come across a kitchen cupboard that locks before, but I can see that it would make sense for certain medicines and household products if there are children around.

But a single person using a locked kitchen cupboard for “personal items” is a bit odd. If I moved into a house that already had a kitchen cupboard with a lock on, I wouldn’t go out of my way to remove it, but I wouldn’t use it either.

I definitely don’t think it was a weird thing for someone you dated for a year to comment on and referring to that as intrusive is ridiculous.

strawberrydonuts · 05/07/2021 08:03

It's a bit unusual to have a locked kitchen cupboard, but even more weird to bring it up as a reason for breaking up with someone!

I would however be intrigued by what "personal items" you might keep in a locked kitchen cupboard.

I don't know why this is so intriguing and weird.... it just is Grin Maybe because the kitchen is usually such a shared/ social space so one wouldn't normally expect anything to be locked away there.

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 05/07/2021 08:07

I’ve only ever seen the locks on kitchen cabinets in offices, my last job had one cupboard that locked for the director of the departments team to keep the fancy tea / coffee / alcohol in for their meetings.

Why would people be intrigued by a kitchen cupboard?
I find it weird that people are randomly going round opening your cupboards that’s very intrusive and rude. However if I saw the lock I would be intrigued by it as it isn’t the norm and that isn’t unusual or rude to politely ask about an unusual feature of someone’s home.

Famousinlove · 05/07/2021 08:08

@AutumnOrange

I live in a housing association property and all the houses belonging to our housing association have 1 locked cupboard in the kitchen - supposed to be used for medication or bleaches etc I think. So not unusual for me now at all
I was going to say this, same here and i think it is to keep medicines in
Theworldisquiethere · 05/07/2021 08:10

Makes sense to have locked cupboards built in for medicines/cleaning products in case there’s kids around (or friends that are likely to steal medication)

bigbluebus · 05/07/2021 08:16

We used to have a locked cupboard in the kitchen when DS was young as it was the cupboard we kept all his sister's medication in. It had a hidden magnet behind the door and needed a magnet 'key' to open it so you couldn't tell from looking at it that it was locked at all - only if you tried to open it.
Only other place I've seen locked cupboards is in student accommodation/HMOs.
I think I'd tell your dates/guests to mind their own business though - nothing to do with them.

81Byerley · 05/07/2021 08:18

I once worked in a house where a kitchen cupboard was locked to safeguard someone. The cupboard was used for medication. I expect the previous occupant had a similar issue. That's all you have to say to anyone who asks. It's not unreasonable for you to use the cupboard and key for whatever you wish.

3Britnee · 05/07/2021 08:22

What do you put in it?

We had a lock on a cupboard once in a rental, but it was two bedrooms and each bedroom had a yale lock so it was set up to be a flat share.

3Britnee · 05/07/2021 08:23

I wouldn't think its unusual to use it for things burglers might take like jewellery, and your important paperwork.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 05/07/2021 08:27

Well, your simple explanation
"It was there when I moved in. It comes in handy for important documents and saves me buying a safe, but yes, I've never seen one anywhere else rmeither "
Surely covers it.