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Original poster

Locked Kitchen Cupboard reactions

299 replies

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 06:50

Is it considered strange to have a lock on one of your kitchen cupboards?

So as a single person, I have been dating, and on three occasions now, when I’ve brought a date home, they have had surprising (to me) reactions to my locked kitchen cupboard.

This is not a lock I have put on there myself, I moved into the property and it was already this way, it is built almost seamlessly as part of the kitchen design, and there is a turn key on one of the units… I do use this to place my more personal items.

When someone tries to open it, it resists, of course. And then I am questioned about it… I find that wrong and intrusive! First you shouldn’t try to open something that has a turn key on it, and second, you shouldn’t question me about it!

The most serious occasion was when I was dating someone, and after the second time she’d stayed over, we both found whatever was between us wasn’t working out for either of us… at the end when she wanted to list the ways it hadn’t worked out, one of them was that my kitchen cupboard was locked! Does that have anything to do with anything at all?? Really?

And only last night, after having a date stay over her first time, I came into the kitchen to witness her staring and really frowning at it! I’m not sure I would have even noticed if it was me let alone frown at it.

Is it weird to have a kitchen cupboard with a lock and to actually use that lock?

OP posts:
Leeds3 · 05/07/2021 07:05

I think a locking kitchen cupboard is a sensible idea. As a parent of teenagers I'd like to lock away bottles of spirits. And before anyone says I should be able to trust my teenagers, it's not always them but their friends that are the culprits!

ErrolTheDragon · 05/07/2021 07:08

It's unusual but sounds like a sensible idea - it's the sort of thing which could catch on and become quite normal I'd have thought.

burritofan · 05/07/2021 07:09

If I were dating someone on the level that I was in their house, I would 100% ask about their weird locked kitchen cupboard! Probably expecting a reply about it having been like that when they moved in, or they have a really clever cat and that’s where the Dreamies are kept. I wouldn’t expect them to be weird and private and defensive about the question, or the cupboard.

It’s unusual! People ask questions about unusual things. People dating other people ask them questions about their lives.

Peoniesandpeaches · 05/07/2021 07:09

I think it’s actually dead handy for medications

YoComoManzanas · 05/07/2021 07:10

I wouldn't find it wierd. I also wouldn't notice for ages. Unless you kept basic stuff in there like cereal/ teabags and you wouldn't let me use them.
Actually I might notice a locked kitchen cupboard I'd I had stayed over and was searching for breakfast without you.
What do you keep in your locked cupboard? Is it a secret?

Rosegoldfan · 05/07/2021 07:11

@burritofan

If I were dating someone on the level that I was in their house, I would 100% ask about their weird locked kitchen cupboard! Probably expecting a reply about it having been like that when they moved in, or they have a really clever cat and that’s where the Dreamies are kept. I wouldn’t expect them to be weird and private and defensive about the question, or the cupboard.

It’s unusual! People ask questions about unusual things. People dating other people ask them questions about their lives.

This! Puts me off dating;people and their weird foibles and secrecy. I am too old for that nonsense.
Original poster
LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 07:11

@Cam2020

It's not typical. Perhaps they're wondering if the bodies of your previous dates are in there?

Joking.

Grin

I’m clearly very weird, but mostly harmless, otherwise you wouldn’t feel free and comfortable to give me a hard time about the lock on my kitchen cupboard!

OP posts:
Woeismethischristmas · 05/07/2021 07:13

I have a locked cupboard in the kitchen I use it for medicine and first aid kit. I wouldn’t want anyone to open it either. As my emergency stash of ovex and hedrin might put them off. Dcarent aren’t all covered in lice and full of worms but should they occur I want to deal with it rather than wait.

Melitza · 05/07/2021 07:13

I can't see anything strange about a wall unit having a lock on as most people keep medicines in the kitchen.
I quite like the idea.

Your dates sound strange though and nosy.

HollysBush · 05/07/2021 07:13

Can’t see anything strange about it. May have medicines in there. Alcohol. Maybe it’s your ‘safe’ where you keep valuables.
I’d probably ask what’s in it and expect you to reply “My chocolate collection” or “Nothing interesting”, something like that.
Although if we were dating longer I’d probably ask again just because curiosity would get the better of me (and also I’d hope to have some shared access to your chocolate!)

Morgan12 · 05/07/2021 07:13

So, what's in it?

Flickandtwo · 05/07/2021 07:15

I've seen quite a few properties that have been developed for rental and they have a lockable kitchen cupboard for medicines etc. I think it's responsible for landlords.

It's not weird.
We don't have a lock but we keep our medicines in the far kitchen cupboard hoping the children will never reach. It doesn't have a lock.

We also have two bookcases in our living room with locks (which are locked all the time).

Original poster
LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 07:15

@Gladioli23

Does the cupboard lock itself automatically, or do you have to actively choose to lock it?
I have to choose to lock it with a key, otherwise it has just a little slot for the key and operates as a normal cupboard identical to the others if not locked.
OP posts:
Whinge · 05/07/2021 07:15

I also found it unusual to have a kitchen unit with an inbuilt lock and I was provided the key to it along with the rest of the keys.

So the cupboard has a key and only you have access to it? If so can see why a partner might find it it odd that the person they had been dating for a year would restrict a cupboard, especially if they get defensive when asked questions about it.

EveningOverRooftops · 05/07/2021 07:16

Not weird at all. I want a lockable kitchen cabinet to store my medication in. I use codeine and have prescription migraine medication, asthma and allergy stuff. My GP gives me 6mths of the latter as it’s all well under control and I just like to keep it safe as it’s not cheap!

Right now I have a safe in my kitchen and people find that really odd. I keep other things in there too of course.

For context I have a SEN DC and have also had medication stolen from my home by friends (no longer friends) in the past when I’ve had prescription painkillers so I opt for this method.

I don’t trust people. But also think it’s very sensible thing to have a lockable place to keep medications and other things.

Original poster
LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 07:18

@Whinge

And then I am questioned about it… I find that wrong and intrusive!

Why do you find the question intrusive? It's not a common sight so I can see why people would ask about it, i'd probably ask myself if I came across it. A quick answer of it was there when I moved in, it's a bit weird but it's useful, and i'd put it out of my mind. However if it's a continued issue in a relationship I wonder if it's how you're responding to their questions that's the problem?

I responded very similarly and casually because it really wasn’t a big deal in my mind.

Why would people be intrigued by a kitchen cupboard? If it were a locked unit somewhere else in the home, that might be more of a deliberate and unusual act.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 05/07/2021 07:20

It’s unusual to have a lock on a kitchen cupboard. But that’s OK.

It’s not unusual when someone lives alone that they bother to lock the cupboard. But that’s OK.

It’s very unusual that if that person is asked why they have a locked cupboard that they’d refuse to answer anything about what’s in it and find the question intrusive.

It’s your defensive reaction about it that’s the issue, not the locked cupboard itself.

What are the personal items in there?

Lochroy · 05/07/2021 07:20

People would be intrigued because why on earth would you go to the bother of locking a cupboard in your own home when no one else lives there? Why not just leave it unlocked?

Also I often tell friends staying to help themselves so it's quite normal they would come across a locked cupboard whilst looking for things.

NoSquirrels · 05/07/2021 07:20

It’s more unusual when someone lives alone that they bother to lock the cupboard. But that’s OK.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 05/07/2021 07:22

I wish I’d had one when my kids were at the “pack of ravaging hyaena” stage.
My friend, who fostered, had to have lockable food cupboards as part of the fostering agreement.

Essentialironingwater · 05/07/2021 07:25

Well I wouldn't ask on a first night but I'd find it odd if I was living with you, paying half the rent and didn't have access to or knowledge of the contents of the secret cupboard.

What are you locking up? A couple of our cupboards lock and we have never bothered. We have a safe for precious jewellery and documents we would want to protect from a fire but I can't imagine what else you'd lock away in your own home?

TwoZeroTwoZero · 05/07/2021 07:25

One of ours has a lock with a key too but it doesn't actually work because whoever put it on didn't line the lock catch up properly and no-one has ever, ever commented on it. It's under the sink and if it worked we'd have kept bleach etc in it when the dc were babies/toddlers.

MareMare · 05/07/2021 07:26

I assume they’re puzzled because you live by yourself, so it isn’t a matter of keeping medication or bleach away from small children, or booze away from teenagers, or your favourite snacks away from a greedy housemate — and if it’s valuable items you keep in there, it seems odd to have grand-grandmother’s diamonds locked up in the kitchen next to the cans of beans and bags of pasta? Or, if by ‘personal items’ you mean sex toys or your passport/house deeds/key ID, a kitchen cupboard still seems an odd place to keep them.

Original poster
LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 07:29

@Melitza

I can't see anything strange about a wall unit having a lock on as most people keep medicines in the kitchen. I quite like the idea.

Your dates sound strange though and nosy.

Yes! Nosy I thought. And I wanted to know whether most people think this way and I’m the one being unreasonable.
OP posts:
mnahmnah · 05/07/2021 07:32

Having it and using it isn’t necessarily weird. Unusual, yes, but not exactly weird. What would be weird is if you are secretive about what is in there. Do you tell people what you keep in there or show them? For instance, if you keep things like medicine, cleaning products or passport, important documents in there - do you just show them? Mystery over. No issue. If you are secretive, then yes, it will cause some reactions.