Locked Kitchen Cupboard reactions

[LockedAndLoaded1]

Is it considered strange to have a lock on one of your kitchen cupboards?

So as a single person, I have been dating, and on three occasions now, when I’ve brought a date home, they have had surprising (to me) reactions to my locked kitchen cupboard.

This is not a lock I have put on there myself, I moved into the property and it was already this way, it is built almost seamlessly as part of the kitchen design, and there is a turn key on one of the units… I do use this to place my more personal items.

When someone tries to open it, it resists, of course. And then I am questioned about it… I find that wrong and intrusive! First you shouldn’t try to open something that has a turn key on it, and second, you shouldn’t question me about it!

The most serious occasion was when I was dating someone, and after the second time she’d stayed over, we both found whatever was between us wasn’t working out for either of us… at the end when she wanted to list the ways it hadn’t worked out, one of them was that my kitchen cupboard was locked! Does that have anything to do with anything at all?? Really?

And only last night, after having a date stay over her first time, I came into the kitchen to witness her staring and really frowning at it! I’m not sure I would have even noticed if it was me let alone frown at it.

Is it weird to have a kitchen cupboard with a lock and to actually use that lock?

Unless you have kids and are storing medicines or cleaning products, yes it is weird.

I think it's weird to lock a cupboard when you live alone.
If I was comfortable enough to be sleeping with someone, I'd be comfortable enough for them to look in my kitchen cupboards and wouldn't be hiding away whatever it is you have in there. Unless it's the heads of previous lovers...

Not weird. Your house. Anything in it is fine. People are getting so bloody ridiculous.

Did you have it installed or was it there already?

Did you not read the OP? She clearly said This is not a lock I have put on there myself, I moved into the property and it was already this way, it is built almost seamlessly as part of the kitchen design

What is in the cupboard? is my reaction to a thread about a locked kitchen cupboard.

I don’t think it’s strange at all but my children have ASD and it seems quite common for many parents within the ASD community to install locks on kitchen cupboards if their children have poor impulse control or sensory issues.
I don’t understand the stranger reactions you are having though, you didn’t install the lock and I I’d most probably use it as a medicine cupboard or to keep things in that I wouldn’t want my children getting hold of such as cleaning products etc.

YANBU
OP didn't put the cupboard in.
OP not weird for making use of it.

What would all the YABU posters do? Rush get the cupboard altered because it's so weird ?

I am seriously thinking of having a lockable drawer designed into my new kitchen. My mothers meds can go in there safely away from DD and any of her playmates. My mothers a short arse so they can't go up high.

I think it’s your reaction that’s the problem.

The more secretive and defensive you are, the more it would worry me - as your ex obviously was.

@Laiste That’s allowed because you told us what you need it for and also you don’t live alone. That’s DIFFERENT.

Tell us what is in the cabinet!

Why would people be intrigued by a kitchen cupboard? If it were a locked unit somewhere else in the home, that might be more of a deliberate and unusual act.

What could possibly intrigue someone about a locked cupboard? I dunno, human nature? something is being hidden from me, i want to see it?

Its like the Barbra Streisand effect to a small degree.

The Streisand effect is a social phenomenon that occurs when an attempt to hide, remove, or censor information has the unintended consequence of further publicizing that information, often via the Internet. It is named after American entertainer Barbra Streisand, whose attempt to suppress the California Coastal Records Project's photograph of her residence in Malibu, California, taken to document California coastal erosion, inadvertently drew further attention to it in 2003.[1]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect

[quote 3luckystars]@Laiste That’s allowed because you told us what you need it for and also you don’t live alone. That’s DIFFERENT.

Tell us what is in the cabinet![/quote]

If my mother didn't live with me i'd still make good use of it, the more i think about it.

Good as a key cupboard (we have a lot of outbuildings), temporary cash storage (DH gets paid in cash sometimes), cat meds, hiding presents, lots of things actually.

I've had locked medicine cupboards forever. Three children well spaced friends with young children, now grandchildren. I wish I'd had a locking kitchen cupboard there's never a chocolate biscuit in this house when I fancy one

It is unusual to have a locked kitchen cupboard, yes-I’ve never had one in a house I’ve lived in.

If I was in a loving relationship with someone for some length of time though, I would probably ask them what was in it and would be bemused if they wouldn’t show me!

Not if I’d only just met them though…!

There’s a lockable cupboard in my kitchen which I don’t use, because I have a floor to ceiling cupboard built into an alcove in my dining room - there when I moved in. It’s fitted with a Yale lock, also there when I moved in. All of my personal/business paperwork is in there in filing cases. Bolted to the floor is a fireproof safe, containing cash, cheques, passport, keys belonging to customers, paying in book, spare car keys, engagement ring and wedding rings (mine and late DHs).

It’s a big cupboard, so I also keep all of my cleaning products, cloths, vacuum bags/filters/spares in there (I’m a cleaner, so there are a lot as I’m always well-stocked). Keeps it all out of the way and in one place.

I only use my laptop about once a week, so that lives in there too.

It’s a very useful space and there’s no reason whatsoever for anyone to need to get in there - it locks automatically when I shut the door. As far as being asked what’s in there, all I would say is cleaning supplies. And I’d be pretty miffed if anyone pushed it further than that.

I would think it would be for cleaning products / medications.
It is wise to keep them out of children’s reach .
Maybe all kitchens should have one .

Yep its weird. But I'd just want to know why you need to lock things up if you live alone and there's no kids around. Seems a bit pedantic if nothing else.

@Strikemepink

I don’t think it’s that weird, my parents installed one for their medicines to keep them out of reach / access from youngsters.

Yeah, I was going to say I keep medicine in the kitchen but since my kids can now climb on the side, I wouldn't mind a lock on it.

Having a lockable kitchen cupboard is not something I've seen before, but I actually think it would be very handy for parents - stops little kids getting bleach etc, then when they're older it stops them eating all the crisps and biscuits!
But locking a cupboard as an adult, and refusing to allow an adult partner to see/know what's inside is very weird. It would bother me.

Go on, tell us what you keep in there

We have a lock on our booze cupboard. It's a normal kitchen cupboard with a lock.
Husband: why do we need that?
Me: we are going to have teenagers in The house.

I think it's a great idea to have a locking cupboard. Medicines, cleaning products, alcohol - there are lots of things that should be locked away from children. I could keep biscuits in there to avoid pestering.

I really want to know what "personal things" are in there OP, purely because you seem very sensitive about something that seems normal and sensible to me!

I’ve designed many many kitchens, no one has ever requested a lockable cupboard. So creepy.

If you live their alone it is weird to lock things away. Why would you need to lock you 'more personal items' away in a kitchen that only you use?

And who keeps 'personal items' in a kitchen anyway.

^there, not their

Medicines, cleaning products, alcohol - there are lots of things that should be locked away from children. I could keep biscuits in there to avoid pestering.

But the OP (who is presumably an adult, as she's dating) lives there alone!