Locked Kitchen Cupboard reactions

[LockedAndLoaded1]

Is it considered strange to have a lock on one of your kitchen cupboards?

So as a single person, I have been dating, and on three occasions now, when I’ve brought a date home, they have had surprising (to me) reactions to my locked kitchen cupboard.

This is not a lock I have put on there myself, I moved into the property and it was already this way, it is built almost seamlessly as part of the kitchen design, and there is a turn key on one of the units… I do use this to place my more personal items.

When someone tries to open it, it resists, of course. And then I am questioned about it… I find that wrong and intrusive! First you shouldn’t try to open something that has a turn key on it, and second, you shouldn’t question me about it!

The most serious occasion was when I was dating someone, and after the second time she’d stayed over, we both found whatever was between us wasn’t working out for either of us… at the end when she wanted to list the ways it hadn’t worked out, one of them was that my kitchen cupboard was locked! Does that have anything to do with anything at all?? Really?

And only last night, after having a date stay over her first time, I came into the kitchen to witness her staring and really frowning at it! I’m not sure I would have even noticed if it was me let alone frown at it.

Is it weird to have a kitchen cupboard with a lock and to actually use that lock?

In my kitchen the cupboard under the sink has a lock on it. I assume it is to keep washing detergent, bleach etc safely away from children. I don't have small children so I don't lock it but if I did, I would. Seems like a good idea to me.

@Exmouthlady

It's a legal requirement that all new builds have a lockable cupboard for storing medicines. It's very simple health and safety to prevent children or vulnerable having access to dangerous medicines. It's been in place 10 years now.

It's not the cupboard lock that's weird - it's that the OP lives alone with no children or vulnerable adults and deliberately keeps the cupboard locked all the time.

The people who are noticing are close/intimate friends - it's not that it was quickly locked before a visit from minors or a nosy workman doing some work on the house.

If I lived alone I wouldn't need to lock away medicines or cleaning supplies on a daily basis.

However, I might want to be able to lock away valuables like legal documents etc so that I don't need to remember to secure them whenever I leave the house - but those types of secure cupboards / drawers are not usually in a kitchen - hence the questions and odd looks she's getting about it.

I'm not sure why simply explaining that she's using it as a secure document cupboard as it was already there and convenient is such a big deal or why the confusion over her visitor's surprise at finding a locked kitchen cupboard in the house of a sole occupant.

Unusual, not weird. Sounds a good idea.

I don't see the purpose of this, unless you frequently have visitors that you don't trust.

"However, I might want to be able to lock away valuables like legal documents etc so that I don't need to remember to secure them whenever I leave the house - but those types of secure cupboards / drawers are not usually in a kitchen - hence the questions and odd looks she's getting about it."

As my post, they ARE usually in a kitchen in new build properties and have been for the last 10 years. Nothing unusual about the presence of a lockable kitchen cupboard. I live alone, I have one, it's kept locked for safety reasons.

No, it’s not weird! All the houses on my estate have them too: it’s a medicine cupboard :) Keeps little hands out

I would ask about a lock on a kitchen cupboard because it's an unusual sight, but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. I wouldn't put a lock on the cupboard if I lived alone, but if, like the OP, I moved somewhere that had a lockable cupboard I would make use of it. Which means if I had personal items that I wanted to lock away, I would probably put them in said cupboard even if they would not usually be stored in the kitchen.
Frankly what baffles me is the amount of comments on this thread acting shocked about personal items being in the lockable kitchen cupboard or straight up asking you what you keep in there.
That is invasive.
But I don't find you using the lock strange. Plenty of people have lockable filing cabinets or safes for valuables, cash, documents etc. Even people who live alone, so what's the difference? I don't see the issue.

However, if when I asked about the locked cupboard I got a defensive answer, I'd find that a bit strange. If I'd been in a relationship with someone for a year and I wasn't allowed to know what was in there (just in general) then I would be suspicious and feel like there was no trust. I wouldn't expect to have access to the cupboard but it being a secret would be a bit of a warning sign to me.
Asking what is in there at the start of a relationship is slightly invasive though, I guess?

Yes often new housing has a locked cupboard for medication or stuff to keep away from young children . Dump her nosy beggar!

I think your relationship lasted only one year because she 'never had access to the cupboard'.

Made me laugh - my grandson has sensory issues and will just eat non stop so we have alarms on the fridge and pantry and locks on all kitchen cupboards with food - along with the heat detectors and additional smoke alarms I wonder what people would think if I ever sold mine and moved.

I would find a locked kitchen cupboard weird.

But I would not try to open it for fear of what I might find.

Were I the date, I would leave as soon as possible, thinking what else might be weird about you......

I've only seen this in holiday homes, where the owners have had a cupboard for their own personal items.

I'd find it odd to see it in use in a normal home with no children.

It is odd and I may comment if I noticed. BUT I wouldn’t start trying to get into a locked cupboard unless it was my own. Could be useful for keeping meds and chemicals away fro moods or indeed important paperwork.

I don’t think it’s a big deal though and it wouldn’t be a reason to want to break up. That’s weird 🤣 xx

Yeah it's unusual, I'd be intrigued, I'd probably ask about it. Would I try to force it open...nope, that's odd!

Are you Bluebeard?

I find it weird that people are weirded out by a simple locked kitchen cupboard. I can't imagine why people would ask about it. WTF?

I don't have one, but that it's part of building regulations for new builds seems a really good idea for keeping medications and dangerous stuff away from kids. If you don't have kids it's a great place to keep documents etc. No idea at all why people think they have a right to know what's in it.

I prob wouldn't notice unless you asked me to get a cup/glass/something from a top cupboard, I don't rummage around people's homes. But if it came up & you didn't say something like 'security for personal papers/medicines/something' & said nothing at all ..like you are all mysterious about it...then I prob would think it was a bit odd. I prob would be thinking meds you don't want me to know about or drugs...depending on how little/well I knew you. I mean you are making judgments about dates who comment so stands to reason they form some opinion of their own if they notice. Anyone who went through my cupboards/home rummaging wouldn't be invited back, locked cupboard or not.

I have one in my kitchen, built in, I keep my medication in it that would extremely dangerous for my grandchildren to find.
They stay with me 2 nights a week, it’s not weird it’s safe!

GreyhoundG1rl I think most theft in houses tends to be the opportunistic type from visitors, so a locked cupboard would deter them quite a bit.

Kitchens came with a locked cupboard for a period of time, I used to think it was a medicine cupboard and if you ask me a good idea. I think I’d use it now for sweets, cakes and drugs but that’s just me 🤣

It's not unusual to have a kitchen cupboard with locks on in housing association houses, especially new builds. Bloody sensible if you ask me.

I had a lock installed on one of my kitchen wall units in an all-adult house as I needed somewhere secure to store restricted/palliative medication and supplies. Currently used for more general medication (and as you're all imaginary friends in my phone - I also keep a small amount of emergency cash in an empty box for a medication I no longer take). I've had reactions from "that's weird" to "what a great idea." I find it very strange when other people have medicine stashed in random places or just leave it out in the bathroom

On its own, It is not a major issue as such but you’ve described yourself as weird so the locked cupboard might just be the icing on the cake.
I.e. if there were already bits of your weirdness coming though, then the locked cupboard might have been the last straw but if you were a ‘non weird’ person then it might not have been an issue IYSWIM

If it were already built in it was probably built in as a medicine cabinet. I’d use it as such.
It’s odd that your dates are bothered about it.

This is like Monica's cupboard in Friends. Why do you look a kitchen cupboard if you like alone? It is a bit weird