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Original poster

Locked Kitchen Cupboard reactions

299 replies

LockedAndLoaded1 · 05/07/2021 06:50

Is it considered strange to have a lock on one of your kitchen cupboards?

So as a single person, I have been dating, and on three occasions now, when I’ve brought a date home, they have had surprising (to me) reactions to my locked kitchen cupboard.

This is not a lock I have put on there myself, I moved into the property and it was already this way, it is built almost seamlessly as part of the kitchen design, and there is a turn key on one of the units… I do use this to place my more personal items.

When someone tries to open it, it resists, of course. And then I am questioned about it… I find that wrong and intrusive! First you shouldn’t try to open something that has a turn key on it, and second, you shouldn’t question me about it!

The most serious occasion was when I was dating someone, and after the second time she’d stayed over, we both found whatever was between us wasn’t working out for either of us… at the end when she wanted to list the ways it hadn’t worked out, one of them was that my kitchen cupboard was locked! Does that have anything to do with anything at all?? Really?

And only last night, after having a date stay over her first time, I came into the kitchen to witness her staring and really frowning at it! I’m not sure I would have even noticed if it was me let alone frown at it.

Is it weird to have a kitchen cupboard with a lock and to actually use that lock?

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 05/07/2021 08:27

Years ago whilst living in another house, I had to put a lock on the door on the cupboard under the kitchen sink area. I had my own cat, no problem, but the cat next door, which was a lovely elegant Siamese cat, kept walking into my kitchen if the back door was open. It would always make a beeline for that one cupboard,and before the lock, would use its long slim legs, to open the door, and proceed to paw out , and drag out, some of the cupboard contents, as in bottles of cleaning stuff, and boxes of soap powder etc.maybe a box of brillo pads anything really..

I would perhaps come in from another room, and find the door wide open, with things strewn around the floor. And then sometimes, this super clever and elegant cat, would be sitting on the windowsill, quite still, and looking like some ornament.. So eventually got a lock on the door.

Not the same as your locked door,, but just reminded me of my locked door many years ago.

Womendohavevaginasnick · 05/07/2021 08:30

They're meant to be medicine cupboards aren't they?
If I had one I'd use it. For medicines, purse etc.

TheGenealogist · 05/07/2021 08:32

Totally weird.

You live, alone, in a house with a kitchen cabinet which has to be actively locked rather than just snapping closed. You choose to lock the cupboard - who are you trying to prevent from getting in?

Dollhousedoor · 05/07/2021 08:33

It's your reaction, not the cupboard that would bother me. I wouldn't ask on a first night over but if I was with someone for a while and as I was spending more nights at theirs and began to notice more about the house, I would probably ask out of curiosity and if they evaded the question I would find that strange, so they either get a kick out of having a cupboard with 'secret' contents (even if nothing sinister) which is a bit childish or that there is something in there that would be a red flag to a partner that they wanted to hide. If they said oh just medication, cleaning products, ID docs I'd think no more of it.

LittleMissSneezy · 05/07/2021 08:33

generally people are meeting up because they've 'matched' on some online dating (OLD) platform though aren't they (and have probably seen each other a few times before being invited round) so they are still scoping you out. The odd thing about OLD is that you never really know the person for a very long time.

I once had a date round here - I had forgotten to mention we were about to embark on a ground floor extension. Over the course of the week, I had cleared out the entire contents of the kitchen and put them in storage. He went down in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, opened the cupboards and found nothing in there and carried on opening them to find nothing more. He said he barely slept the rest of the night wondering what weirdness I was up to!

so yes, if I had wandered down and found a cupboard locked when someone lived on their own, i would be wondering what you were keeping in there!

decoratedstandardlamp · 05/07/2021 08:34

Maybe the people before you had a child. I had a lock with a key on my kitchen cupboard after my toddler climbed up and ate all her vitamin tablets.

Just shrug it off when they ask and say it was the people for you. Then distract them with whatever.

Blommingfun · 05/07/2021 08:35

I don't understand the 'if you live alone, why do you need to lock things away' comments. 1) from nosy friends, visitors, tradespeople 2) from opportunist burglars who might come in and grab what they can in a couple of minutes, 3) I use a locked cupboard for things like my drivers licence and passport so that I don't accidentally move them and then forget where they are. It's a concious action to unlock a cupboard to get them.

Pandasarecool · 05/07/2021 08:37

Yes it’s weird and if I were a date coming over for the first time I’d want to know that the contents of that cupboard weren’t some sort of serial killer kit.

QueenAdreena · 05/07/2021 08:37

We have a cupboard with a small turn lock in it like you describe; it was already in the kitchen when we bought it (new build). Never thought it was weird...we use it as the medicine cabinet and somewhere to store a bit of emergency cash.

Atalune · 05/07/2021 08:38

What’s in the cupboard?

Why lock something from yourself when you live alone?

Why are the questions intrusive? Immediately I think what are you hiding?

butterpuffed · 05/07/2021 08:39

I would keep it locked, OP, as your visitors are rummaging around in your cupboards . What a cheek, even more so that they're asking you why it's locked, it's none of their business !

JacketSpud55 · 05/07/2021 08:41

Actually this is standard now in HA houses, it’s got a lock as it’s meant to be a medicine cabinet and it is for the safety of any children or vulnerable person that may be housed there. As HA tenants kitchens gets replaced, one of these cupboards will appear in your kitchen.

honeylulu · 05/07/2021 08:42

I have never seen a lockable kitchen cupboard so I would be a bit surprised, but I think its a great idea. Would have been a godsend in student houseshares and even now when my children don't eat their dinner because they've been repeatedly scoffing hula hoops and biscuits! I have hidden crisps in the (locked) garden shed from time to time when I don't want them to all disappear in 2 days.

Visitors to your house should not be rummaging through your cupboards. Perhaps fine for an overnight guest wanting to make a cup of tea to have a quick look for tea bags/mugs etc but surely if you find a cupboard locked shut you just think "ah not that one". I might be faintly surprised but I would not be affronted by it. Your dates are nosy!

Gladiolys · 05/07/2021 08:42

It’s unusual in a house which isn’t a house share. I wouldn’t bother removing it if I lived there, but I also wouldn’t consider it intrusive or inappropriate for someone to ask about it, since it is an unusual feature.

Girlwhowearsglasses · 05/07/2021 08:45

Three teenage boys here. I'd bloody love a cupboard with a lock - even if it's only to keep biscuits in. They last about ten seco ds I his house, get found anywhere I hide them, and I never get them.

Medecines too I think it would be a good idea for

LouLou198 · 05/07/2021 08:46

I would actually quiet like one! Think it would be really handy for stuff you would want to keep away from children, medicines, cleaning products (few chocolates that no one else could get their hands on Grin). I think their reaction is a bit strange. Don't think it's that much different to having a locked filing cabinet that I would think a lot of people have.

MissJeanBrodiesprime · 05/07/2021 08:46

I don’t think it’s weird, you didn’t put it in yourself. If I’d moved into a house with a cupboard like that I wouldn’t rush to remove it, and would make use of it. However perhaps your date was in the kitchen looking for a glass or something and discovered it. If it was me I probably wouldn’t mention it or be particularly suspicious.

shivawn · 05/07/2021 08:47

Yeah its a bit weird. The fact that you're so defensive about it is even weirder though, the fact that you don't like being questioned on it and find it intrusive when people ask is probably a bigger red flag than the lock itself.

Atalune · 05/07/2021 08:48

@shivawn

Yeah its a bit weird. The fact that you're so defensive about it is even weirder though, the fact that you don't like being questioned on it and find it intrusive when people ask is probably a bigger red flag than the lock itself.
Exactly!
SirVixofVixHall · 05/07/2021 08:53

I assume a lockable kitchen cupboard is to keep cleaning products away from children, or medication as pp said.
I have a lockable bathroom cupboard for medicine, the key is always in the door, it came like that.
If the key is in the door then I might be curious as you are childless, I might ask why it locked. I would probably assume it had been built like that though. It doesn’t seem all that strange, laundry pods , bleaches etc, are meant to be kept safely away from young children .

3luckystars · 05/07/2021 08:53

My mother had a lock on one of the kitchen cupboards when we were small, she locked the junk and sweets in there.
She had another similar one on the cabinet that had alcohol in it, same thing so I don’t think it is strange at all.

The only thing I think is strange is that someone living alone would need a locked cabinet for anything.

What do you use if for? You have to tell me!

starfishmummy · 05/07/2021 08:53

My parents had a locking one immediately under the sink bowl. It was where the first aid and cleaning things were kept. I was the youngest child and well into my teens at the time.

My Father handbuilt the kitchen and for some reason he or DM decided they didn't want a handle there that they might knock into while working at the sink. That said the key was always left sticking out of the lock at roughly knee level!!

PrimeraVez · 05/07/2021 08:54

Our fridge has a lock on it. We laughed about it when we bought it and said 'who locks a fridge?!?' Now we have two young children who love to help themselves to things, I totally understand it.

FWIW, I think a locked cupboard would be great for storing medication, cleaning products in etc, and don't think it would stand out to me as weird if I saw it. But your reaction would make me feel a bit Confused

sadie9 · 05/07/2021 08:55

Did you have it installed or was it there already? Is it for your passport and papers like that.
It could be very symbolic of you as a person. That there is a part of you that needs to be kept hidden. But this part of you is also something that may be obvious to people but isn't readily talked about by you.
What's in it, we want to know!

HouseyHouse21 · 05/07/2021 08:56

I've watched enough episodes of Dexter to find this extremely creepy. Especially because you're being so cagey about it. I would definitely want to know if you were storing the skulls of your previous victims in there.