To not really care I’ll be 60 when my youngest is 18

[Pinkco]

Why is this relevant?

Will be 42 when I have my last child and people have said the above in incredulous tones.

What am I missing?

@Kitkat151

That’s great you had kids when you wanted.....that’s what I did too.....I’m 55 now with 3 grandchildren....when I’m 60 my last child ( 3rd) will be 27.... that works for me.... why should your age be important? Has someone said something?

Ah the wide eyed post.

@TeenMinusTests

It means you will be going through the menopause when they are a teenager. It's not a great combination.

I am 50, and more tired than I have ever been because of the menopause. Could not have managed young DC at this age. But maybe that's just me. The menopause seems to hit different women differently, and there seems no way of predicting how you will feel.

I'm early 30's and my Mum has just turned 70. We have a great relationship, she's my best pal. It was a bit weird growing up as all my friends parents were a lot younger, including one who's parents were the same age as my oldest brother. But its totally normal now for more mature parents!

42 is not massively old to have a baby.

So your child will be 18 when you are 60? Ask them 'what's your point?' @Pinkco

Not like you'll be 80 when your baby is junior school age. WTF are they on about?

18 isn't young?

@Templetreebloom

countries as a young 20 something, backpacking the world, living life... when you were changing shitty nappies and being bogged down with drudgery.

Is there any need to be so nasty ?
Younger parents probably just took their babies with them ,whatever they did.
Lots of my friends travelled, went to festivals etc with babies and young children.

I think you perhaps need to read the thread and see why I made my comment. Any need to be so nasty? Perhaps ask that of the poster that I was replying to who made such a snide dig at the OP in the first place. Ok?

Funding university and retirement might not go together.

60 does seem to be 'younger' than it used to be. Does make you more likely to be a sandwich generation too, looking after elderly parents whilst still having children at home

I actually think wider age gaps helps the 'caring' dilemma.

With a 20 year age gap you have more than generation of 'older' adults leaving the 60 somethings sandwiched between 80+ parents whilst also trying to be supportive grandparents yo their own children.

I had my first child when I was 47. Never experienced any problems. I didn’t feel mentally ready to have a child before then. I’m 70 now and still work full time and I enjoy the company of my 23 year old who still lives with us.

Mine are dead anyway.

My mum was dead when I was 18 🙁

@Dragonn

DH will be 62. He has more energy than anyone I know.

You must know a load of unfit people if a 62 year old has the most energy

I'm in a similar age position and I couldn't care less, I never give a moment's thought

@TeenMinusTests

It means you will be going through the menopause when they are a teenager. It's not a great combination.

Rubbish! I had DS at 32 and am going through the menopause now he's 17! By 60 it's over and done with!

@Pinkco

There’s a need when the young parents are nasty.

My life was not in a good place in my early twenties. And I was single!

Imapotato I think the chances of dc having to look after decrepit parents aged 60 is fairly low.

In the great scheme of things yes it’s reasonably low. But it’s still something I see often enough iyswim.

It’s also not about having to look after decrepit parent’s (my mums not decrepit). But my sister would have found having to deal with the hospital, doctors and emotional load very hard. I took that on for everyone because I’m 14 years older than her and the oldest sibling living in the U.K.

So a last child in your 40s to me is very different to a first. But, as I said, each to their own.

People have too many opinions. It tends to say more about them and their experiences or their bias. No point letting someone else's issues cloud your life. There will always be 'what ifs' and 'have you thought of', regardless what you do.

I’ll be 56. I don’t care one iota. 👍🏻

@user1498572889

My mum was dead when I was 18 🙁

I’m sorry to hear this. She was an older mother I take it?

My mum was 42 when l was 18. I thought she was old! All teens think their mums are old. It was only when l had my own kids that l realised how young she was. There will be no issue. Just enjoy your pregnancy and your new baby.

I had a child at 18 and another at 42. I can tell you without a doubt that although I have a great relationship with the eldest, I've been a much better parent to the youngest

We all know there are pros and cons if you have your DC when you are young it later in life. I read a thread on here about a woman who was about to be 50 and had young DC and she didn't feel she was where she expected to be at that age. A lot of other women also posted similar, it was only the posters that had their DC younger that seemed to be really positive about being 50. It was an interesting thread.
My DM developed Alzheimer’s in her early/mid 60’s and I wouldn’t have wanted to do the caring I do for her in my early 20’s or if I had young DC.

Oh man....I had my first at 22 and my last at 40 (and one in the middle at the “acceptable” age of 33”).

I’ve had some horrible bloody comments. First I was too young, last I was too old. I occasionally get crap because people work out that I’ll have been parenting from 22 to 58 by the time my youngest is 18.

I even had someone tell me once that I’d wasted my life!

We’ve travelled the world and had heaps of fun.

Also, we’d love one more. so I’ll probably be 42 when Onhabe my last.

I will turn 60 when my daughter is 18. I don't give two hoots - have never felt like an 'older' mother and have a really great relationship with her (she is 17 now).

It was a really weird comment to make, you’re not exactly geriatric.😂. I’m sure you’re well-prepared and will be a great parent as you already are to your current children.

And I say this as someone whose Mum died at 67 after several years of serious illness. I did have to help care for her in my teens/20’s (she was 38 when I was born) but I wouldn’t have swapped her for a younger Mum, she was fab.❤️

To the posters who had lost their mothers at 18 - that is incredibly sad, and I’m sorry to hear them.

But older mothers or younger mothers can sadly die prematurely.

There are illnesses and accidents that tragically take mothers in their 20s and 30s