To not really care I’ll be 60 when my youngest is 18

[Pinkco]

Why is this relevant?

Will be 42 when I have my last child and people have said the above in incredulous tones.

What am I missing?

You could but it’s unlikely. The average age is 51

But it's normal to occur "between 45 and 55 years of age" (NHS). So the PP who had a child at 33 could very likely have a teen whilst going through the menopause.

@Blossomtoes

Because two people in hormonal turmoil in the same house at the same time is no fun. Surely it’s obvious?

Wouldn't that nonsense apply if mother a d daughter were menstruating at the same time?

You do know that not all women turn into harridans when they're menopausal and not all teens have raging PMT, don't you?

Jeez, there are a lot of people spoiling for a fight on here tonight. Unlucky, I can’t be arsed.

@Blossomtoes

Jeez, there are a lot of people spoiling for a fight on here tonight. Unlucky, I can’t be arsed.

That's not like you Blossomtoes

I’ll be 61 when DD is 18

That's not like you Blossomtoes

I take it that's sarcasm?!

Blossom seems to be one of those posters who doesn't like to get pulled up on her posts, although she has no problem questioning others. No need to fight though, just don't spout crap 😜

🤷‍♀️

I’ll be 62 when my youngest is 18. I don’t expect she’ll want to pinch my clothes then, but neither do I expect to be wearing beige, polyester, elastic-waisted ‘slacks’ and cream granny sandals. Isn’t 60 the new 40?

Oh don't listen to them. Who cares? There are older parents than you. Some substantially so. My friend had both her two when she was in her early 40s. Her partner was 20 years older. They are teenagers now and he's as fit as a fiddle. Is it ideal? No! But neither was my own teenage pregnancy. It's how much love you give and making sure they have a wide support circle that counts, no matter what age you are.

42 is nothing. And those who think it is are probably young right now, but will blink and find themselves at 42 thinking how it feels no different to their 20s.

My Mother is a fantastic grandmother approaching 70. She chases my DS around the soft play and is retired so has loads of time to spend with all of us.

No one knows when their time is up, so no point wasting it counting laps around the sun.

I take it that's sarcasm?!
Yep!

60 is the new 40. Don't worry about it for a second.

I’m 64 my only DD is 19.
Didn’t plan it, that’s the way it’s worked out for me after having a few miscarriages.
She keeps me young and yes she does borrow my clothes...and shoes, why wouldn’t she we buy them mostly from the same shops!

My mum is 36 years older and menopause hit same time as periods.. was fun Lots of arguments but that happens either way

I was 42 when my daughter was born , my son was 12 at the time. I’m closer to her than I think I’d be if I’d had her earlier and we’ve been able to help more with uni fees etc as we don’t have a mortgage. I still work 4 days a week and DH ( both 63) works 5 days but shorter hours. We (my daughter and I go on trips or weekends away together when she’s home and we discuss everything under the sun. I was very calm as a new mum as opposed to all the first time worries with my sun but I think that happens with any second child. There are ups and downs . Son and daughter are very close and he’s protective of her but not overly. She was very much brought up like an only child because of the big age gap and longed for younger siblings when she was little so she did tend to mother other children. She’s 21 and we’re not ( me and husband)expecting imminent death or ill health and if anything she’s kept us young .

Because you could be dead or have a serious health issue 🙃.

It's not though Inastaus. 50s is the peak decade for many kinds of cancer deaths

@Backhills - it really isn't. Far more people die of cancer and heart disease in their 60s and beyond- they are generally illnesses of old age.

Who are these people whose life plan has worked out so exactly that not only have they managed to have their own children at the perfect time but they also see to it that their children produce grandchildren that they can provide childcare for, see them through all the Grandparents Days at school, attend their weddings and hang around long enough to get the "Four Generations" photo with their great grandchild before dying in their sleep without causing a fuss. People have different lives. You can only live your own

Spot on.

Forget what other people say and think. They do not matter! My DHs cousin died last year leaving behind a 2 yo. She was 29! Life is life - live it how you wish if you aren't hurting anyone. Ps I'm nearly 37 and I would have another in a heartbeat if I could!

@Uniontea

Much less chance of them stealing your clothes

I am 40 years older than teenage DD and the other day she texted me from a clothes shop to ask for my opinion 😊

You’re as young or old as you feel and act OP. Ignore the naysayers and enjoy your kids.

I had my daughter when I was 42. I’ve not even thought that far ahead! I’m currently a young at heart 56 year old and intend to be the same at 60!

42 is not the ideal time to have a child but, really, what in life is ideal.

Why is 42 not a good time to have a child

Hopefully the parents will be financially stable , possibly low mortgage

Won’t want to be out clubbing /pub every Friday night as I did when I was 18/30

I have in our will who will have guardianship of our daughter if myself and df both die and under 18

What do you mean, you would rather you hadn't been born?

I’d much rather I hadn’t been born to older parents, yes.

I know that there’s no guarantee of health at any age, but a decline in one’s 60s isn’t unusual. For me, my mother’s health declined very significantly in her early-60s. She’s just a woman who aged very fast, for reasons out of her control. She’s had a range of very significant issues including a series of strokes which left her with very little mobility, or sight from the age of 62.

I’m now in my thirties and love my parents to bits, but it’s hard when I see my friends going away for weekends or out for shopping trips with their mothers, or have them interact and play with their children, when I’ve been in more of a caring capacity for mine for the past twenty years. I’ve had to move in with them for lockdown to support them. Again, I don’t mind doing this, but it’s hard.

It very much makes me question why my parents chose to have a child so late on. I gather I was unplanned as they had older children, but they got much more hands-on parenting.

Anyway, just my personal experience.

She can't get over her not seeing her 5yo son grow up and I think older parents do forget this sadly will happen

Whatever makes you think we're that naive? The priority for any parent is surely raising our own children to adulthood. Grandchildren are a bonus.