To not really care I’ll be 60 when my youngest is 18

[Pinkco]

Why is this relevant?

Will be 42 when I have my last child and people have said the above in incredulous tones.

What am I missing?

I think more people will chose to be child free. I thought it was really odd when it was suggested that covid/lockdowns would lead to a baby boom.

I am 64 - daughter is 19 - loves taking my old clothes & altering them, I love seeing them get anew lease of life and had no problems with menopause. I would have loved more!

I wonder if the next generation will be younger parents than this one

I had my DD at the same age my mum had me....

@coulditbecominghome

I think more people will chose to be child free. I thought it was really odd when it was suggested that covid/lockdowns would lead to a baby boom.

Yeah possibly.

Though covid lockdown seemed to impact pregnancies in dd1s year 11 cohort. Since she’s been at the school I don’t remember anyone being pregnant. I found it surprising as there was at least one girl in every year when I was at school. But since lockdown 2 girls have announced that they’re pregnant. Clearly not much else to do!

I wonder if the next generation will be younger parents than this one

Probably. My stepson’s 30, his wife’s 28 and they’ve got two. His sister’s 28 and already worrying about getting a move on.

With it being so much more difficult to buy a house now, I suspect a lot of them will just crack on.

It doesn't matter if you are 60 when they turn 18, but having lost 3 friends and a husband in their 50s in the last 18 months, there is quite a risk that you'll leave them in a far from ideal situation.

Ds2 has just lost his father at 18 and he was much less than 60. It's not something you'd choose for him.

60 is the new 50, we’re all living longer, some retiring later, I wouldn’t give it another thought.

@AtomicBronde

60 is the new 50, we’re all living longer, some retiring later, I wouldn’t give it another thought.

We're not "all" living longer. Average life expectancy is getting longer, if you survive your 50s. 50s is a really risky decade for cancer and heart disease.

@Backhills

It doesn't matter if you are 60 when they turn 18, but having lost 3 friends and a husband in their 50s in the last 18 months, there is quite a risk that you'll leave them in a far from ideal situation.

Ds2 has just lost his father at 18 and he was much less than 60. It's not something you'd choose for him.

I’m very sorry for your losses @backhills but losing friends and your DH when they are only in their 50’s is fairly unusual .

Had my 1st at 18 and my 3rd at 42, definitely found it easier being an older mum, I will be 60 when dd 12 is 18

It's not though Inastaus. 50s is the peak decade for many kinds of cancer deaths.

@TeenMinusTests

It means you will be going through the menopause when they are a teenager. It's not a great combination.

Oh guess yes! Save up for counselling for you both (only semi joking!).

I’m sure it will be fine. Objectively you will have less years with your child but I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful mum to them and that’s what will count.

60 is not old.

I have just had my first and only baby at 39. Would have preferred to have had her at 34 when I started trying but it wasn't to be. I don't feel old, and think I'm a better parent thanks to having lived a life and built a career before she arrived. Guess you either have your fun before children, or wait for them to leave home then take your life back.

50s is the peak decade for many kinds of cancer deaths.

Is it?

I had my youngest of 3 children at 45 so will be 63 when she is 18 (she is currently 5 and I am 50). I do not care about the age I had my children, I really enjoyed my 20's and 30's travelling and working overseas and feel lucky to of had my children when I did. They are actually keeping me young!

I was born a week before my mum's 48th birthday so when I was 18 she was nearly 66. Don't worry about it she was nearly 34 and 38 when she had my two sisters.

data

Not unusual OP

I'll be 58 with an 18 year old. I hope. If I haven't died of old age or cancer as some PPs have suggested

Some of my school friends became grannies before I became a mother. I don't judge them. Horses for courses

@Backhills but that link doesn't suggest cancer deaths peak at aged 50?

I was 42 when I had my youngest DD 15 - so I will be 60 when she turns 18. She couldn't care less about my age!
And I had 3 teenagers throughout my peri and menopause years - we all survived

.

@Wankerchief

I was 34 when my son was 18…. your side of the coin is much better

How so?

Some people have a cosy little idea of what should happen, in what order and when. Anything that they deem to be outside of that is viewed as a threat or “wrong”.

I completely agree with this.

These threads always attract the "your children will become carers in their 20's if they aren't already orphaned by then" and "you won't be around for your grandchildren".

Who are these people whose life plan has worked out so exactly that not only have they managed to have their own children at the perfect time but they also see to it that their children produce grandchildren that they can provide childcare for, see them through all the Grandparents Days at school, attend their weddings and hang around long enough to get the "Four Generations" photo with their great grandchild before dying in their sleep without causing a fuss.

People have different lives. You can only live your own. All the best OP.

@Backhills - the Cancer research link you’ve posted above also states that cancer mortality rates have decreased significantly in all age groups since the 1970’s which is good news. I appreciate fully that your life experience has affected your view but I have a huge circle of friends all in our 50’s who are all thankfully quite healthy (touch wood).