To think guests shouldn't go into your bedroom?

[PixieAndTheToad]

Some of my relatives just visited for the first time since before Covid and as usual I closed the upstairs bedroom doors. This time I decided to lock my bedroom door as well.
Within a few minutes of arriving my sister came down from upstairs complaining that the bedroom door was locked and that she wanted to look inside. I told her that I didn't want people going in there, but she just continued to repeat that she wanted to look inside and that she didn't understand why I would stop her. I tried to explain that this was my bedroom and this is a private space, but she just responded like she was entitled to go in there.

My family aren't great with boundaries anyway, which is why I locked it. But I feel like I shouldn't have to, surely if there are closed doors at someone else's house you don't go into that room and have a look about?

She seems to think guests have a right to hangout in whichever room they feel like and that I was unreasonable to not let her in. So I thought I'd take the question to mumsnet.

AIBU to think guests should keep to the communal areas and not look around in other people's bedrooms?

I don’t think guests should even go upstairs! Certainly not into someone’s bedroom.

Of course you are not being unreasonable. I wouldn’t be inviting people like that round my house-meet somewhere neutral instead!

She has more front than Blackpool. Totally reasonable to not let her in and well done for having the forethought to lock the room. She will probably be like a dog with a bone now and persist in trying to get in so be aware of that next time and make sure OH is on same page.

I suppose here there would be no reason for anyone who wasn’t staying overnight to go upstairs, as there’s a downstairs loo, but I admit to being a bit taken aback by how normal Mn posters find the idea of visitors wanting a tour of the entire house if they haven’t been before, or there has been some alteration.

Personally, I’ve no interest in looking at other people’s en suite loos or grouting.

I agree with you, that's weird
Why would you want to look in there?
Don't try to explain, just tell her straight, it nosey, intrusive and rude

I think if you've shut the door then she WBU.

In general though, I don't mind people going in my room, and would definitely go in the bedrooms at my brothers/parents house, and they would come in my room at mine. I wouldn't go in the bedrooms at not-close friends houses though as some people are private about bedrooms.

Why would you even want to see someone's bedroom in those circumstances? What is she expecting to find in there?

I think locking a bedroom door is very odd behaviour. Almost paranoid. What’s not to be seen?
My guests can go look if they really want, but it’s never happened without invitation (perhaps to see an outfit for a wedding or borrow mountain gear).

Nobody is allowed upstairs in my house point blank but I lock the bedrooms that have a lock anyway when people are over.

It's entirely up to you if you want people in your bedroom. You don't, you've closed it off, that's that. Your DSis IBVU

Her behaviour is really weird! Why would she demand to see in your bedroom?!

Your sister is weird. No one needs to be nosing around other people's bedrooms. Why would you?

Only on Mumsnet do sisters demand to look in a bedroom.

Never in the real world would this occur.

Unless of course your sister is 10?

Many years ago, when I still lived with my DPs, they had a big house party.

I popped upstairs for something or other, and discovered 2 not particularly close friends not only in my DPs bedroom (next to the bathroom, there was a queue) but actually going through DMs wardrobe and drawers

I immediately told DM who was very clear with them that she was not happy. They were completely bemused that she didn't want them (literally) going through her underwear.

WTAF is wrong with people

It's rude to go in upstairs rooms.
I do however have a friend who had a double extension built and talked endlessly about her new bedroom and en-suite and what curtains and towels she had bought- even asked my advice on the carpeting-however never asked me upstairs to actually see what she had been discussing with me.

Your sister is very rude & weird, what an odd thing to think she should be able to nose around your room for no reason.

She must have form for this kind of thing for you to have locked it?

The only time really to see someone’s bedroom is maybe if they’d redecorated and offered to show you, apart from that there’s no reason to be snooping about in rooms where the doors are closed.

Someone has voted that YABU. Either it's a mistake, or your sister has found the thread...

The cheek of actually complaining youd locked it! I close my bedroom door when people come over as I don’t want people to see into my (likely messy) room and has never occurred to me that people would open the door to look

People are weird. No, guests shouldn't be coming into your bedroom. Even if the door was pulled to and not fully closed.

You’re relatives are weird.

YADNBU!!!

I feel so uncomfortable going into someone's bedroom.

My FIL had my DC on his bed one time playing with him, and I went up to see them. Even though FIL told me to come into the room (I was standing in the doorway), I just couldn't do it, it seems massively intrusive to walk into someones bedroom for some reason.

I sort of waddled in the tiniest bit so as not to be rude, but I felt very uncomfortable.

Random guests? Then no, they shouldn’t be in a private bedroom unless you take them.
But.. I can’t imagine feeling the need to lock my sister out of any part of my home.
I would want her to see my house as her house and she would do the same for me.
Same for other immediate family members.

You’re sister is strange. Did she say why she wanted to go in your bedroom?

Having a quick nosey through an open door as you're walking past is one thing...but to actually query why you can't go in is very weird. It's like demanding to look through someone's phone or something?